


Dissonant Echoes

by Azuregold



Category: One Piece
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Supernatural Elements, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24417331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuregold/pseuds/Azuregold
Summary: The island was a bit weird, maybe, but the Straw Hats had seen weirder. If anything, it was a littletoonormal for the Grand Line. It made a nice rest stop, though, and it wasn't like they planned to be there long.And then Zoro left to get a drink and didn't come back.And then he did. And nothing would ever be the same.
Relationships: Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates & Roronoa Zoro
Comments: 78
Kudos: 180





	1. Shaken

**Day 2**

This was wrong.

He couldn't look away from the shaking hands in front of him. Were they his? They moved when he moved them, they had to be his. But they _couldn't be_. His hands didn't look like this, he was sure of it. His hands were large, rough, powerful. These were tiny, soft, without the callouses he'd gained from…from what? What had he been doing?

This was wrong.

Something thumped behind him. He gasped and lurched into a stumbling run. He had to get away. It wasn't safe here. A rusty meow echoed down the alley, but he didn't slow. The cat might not be alone. There were shadows all around, stretching far over his head, and every one of them felt full of monsters. Everything was a threat.

This was _wrong_.

The end of the alley stretched away from him. It didn't seem to be getting closer no matter how much he ran. Why was he so _slow_? His legs should have carried him faster than this! His mouth went dry. What if something was wrong with his legs, too?

He glanced down to check. The moment of distraction cost him. He slammed into a metal bin as tall as he was and went down with a crash. If there _were_ any monsters in the alley, they all surely knew where he was now.

A whine escaped him, high and breathless. _Move._ He couldn't stay here. _Move!_ He struggled to sit up, his hands slipping on vegetable peelings. Pain and panic sloshed together inside him as he stared at the blood trickling down his bare knee.

His legs weren't right, either. They were soft and round and knobby-kneed and much, much too _small_.

Another bang behind him. The cat again? The monsters? It didn't matter; he had to _move_. He scrambled up and threw himself forward on his wobbly, too-short legs. Faster, faster, he had to go faster! The alley was dark and empty, but it was too big, too wide. Too many shadows for things to hide in.

Gasping, he closed his eyes. Maybe if he wasn't watching it, the alley would stop getting longer and he could reach the end. It wasn't safe here. He had to get away. All the wrong things could wait until he was safe.

But where was safety? He didn't know. If _dark_ and _cold_ and _big_ was danger, then somewhere _light_ and _warm_ and _small_? But he didn't know any places like that. He didn't know anything, except that he was _wrong_ and he had to _run_ —

He hit something again, all the air leaving him in a gasp. He fell harder this time, scraping his arms on the rough ground as he tried to protect his head. He heard a surprised yelp, and tensed. Not a bin. A person this time. His eyes flew open, then squinted in the sudden light. He'd made it out of the alley.

"Hey, watch where you're—" The speaker cut off with a gasp.

Clutching his head, he looked up. His eyes widened.

_Oh._

Something in him lurched, as if just seeing the woman had sent him crashing into another bin. No, a whole row of bins, all full of rocks. His muscles locked. A sour taste filled his mouth. The world shrank around him, until he was aware of nothing but a harsh panting as he gasped for breath, the rabbit-quick thudding of his heart, and _her_.

_Run._ Run _! I have to run!_

But he couldn't. He couldn't even look away.

_This is wrong!_

She was bright and sharp and deadly, a wildcat ready to rip him to shreds if he so much as twitched—

[No, she was shocked and worried and confused, someone who cared about her friends and was desperate for her world to start making sense again—]

She seemed impossibly tall as he lay sprawled in front of her. Fiery hair flowed around her in waves, and he knew if she touched him, he would burn. If she reached out now, he would be ash. But he couldn't move away.

Beneath the terror, something stirred. He didn't know her, he _couldn't_ , but—

Icy sweat trickled down the back of his neck. It felt like he was being torn in two. His mind screamed to get away from the woman, to run and hide somewhere she could never find him, yet he was frozen.

_Help. I need—_

_Danger! Run run run I have to—_

_But she's—_

_No! Get away! She's—_

His limbs shook, barely supporting him. His face was wet. Was he crying?

_She's looking at me!_

The woman stared at him, her eyes so wide now they looked like brown islands in a sea of white. Her brow furrowed, one hand stretching hesitantly in his direction.

_This is wrong!_

She took a step toward him, and he knew he was going to die.

"…Zoro?"

* * *

**Day 0**

The man narrowed his eyes at them. "Supplies?"

"Yeah, supplies." Sanji didn't quite manage to keep the irritation out of his voice, though Robin could tell he was trying. "You know, food."

"Booze," Zoro added.

"I could use more bandages," Chopper piped up.

"And I'm almost out of tea," Brook said.

"You have that stuff here, don't you?" Sanji pressed.

"I—yes, of course. But…"

Nami huffed impatiently. "We can pay, if that's what you're worried about. We may be pirates, but we don't steal _everything_."

"Oh, we're not worried about theft." The man waved a hand dismissively. "But this isn't a tourist island. You won't find much entertainment here, I'm afraid, so you'd be better off getting your supplies and moving on. Your log pose will be set by morning."

"That won't be a problem," Robin said, though she could see Luffy pouting out of the corner of her eye. She was sure her captain would manage to find whatever excitement the island _did_ offer.

"Then I'm sure we'll get along fine." The man smiled, wide enough to stretch the odd silver marking that cut across his left cheek, but Robin had spent too long surrounded by genuinely joyful smiles to miss the stiffness in this one. "So long as you all stay out of trouble." He nodded and left, his boots clumping on the wooden dock.

"They sure are friendly here," Nami said.

"Maybe they're just trying to avoid trouble?" Usopp suggested weakly.

"If they're that welcoming to everyone, I think it's only a matter of time before they piss off the wrong pirate and get their town destroyed."

"He didn't seem worried about that at all, though," Chopper said.

Nami sighed. "Well, hopefully we'll be long gone before we have to find out if they're just overconfident or if there's more to this place than meets the eye."

"Think we'd have better luck in a different town?" Franky asked.

"Somehow I doubt it," Nami said. "I suppose we could take a walk over to see, though. If nobody stops us."

Luffy had already disappeared by the time Robin turned around. Zoro was next to leave, eye gleaming with the determination of a man planning to drink his way through at least two bars before finding the island's best napping spot and sleeping the day away. Well, at least that was likely to keep him out of trouble.

The man had called it a city, but to Robin's eye it was closer to a large town, with few buildings more than two stories high. It was clean and quaint, with an attractive shopping district that soon swallowed up her companions. There were bars, cafes, and restaurants, stores selling food, clothing, tools, and trinkets. A large, elegant bathhouse took up most of one street.

It was perfectly ordinary, almost strangely so for the Grand Line, but it had plenty to offer as a rest stop. Odd, that the man had been so convinced they wouldn't find anything of interest to keep them busy. Perhaps previous visitors had been especially demanding.

Robin wandered through the streets, peeking in windows and keeping an eye out for books. Eventually, she rounded a corner and found herself in front of one of the tallest buildings, its roof rising to a peak and topped by a small bell tower. The sign over the entrance proclaimed it a library.

Well, that was nearly as good as a bookstore. Better, in some respects.

Inside, it was cool, spacious, and well-lit, the late morning sun filtering in through high windows. The scents of ink, leather, and paper reached out to Robin as though welcoming her home, and she couldn't hold back a smile.

"Can I help you?"

Robin turned to see a middle-aged woman emerge from behind a bookshelf nearly twice her height. She approached so quickly that if it hadn't been for the tapping of her heels on the floor, Robin might have thought she had wheels.

"Hello," Robin said. "My friends and I are visiting the island—"

"Oh, I know."

Robin blinked. "Is it that obvious?"

"Outsiders tend to stand out here." The woman smiled politely. "So? Are you looking for anything in particular? Here, let me show you our local section. This island has produced some fine novelists over the years, and very little of their work ever makes its way into the wider world."

"I'd love to see them." Fiction might not be her first interest, but you could tell a lot about a culture by the stories it told.

The librarian led her to six long shelves in the center of the room, each one packed from top to bottom with books. "We'll be needing to expand soon," she said with a smile. After pointing out the other sections—mystery, romance, fantasy, and so on, she told Robin to find her if she had any questions and left her to browse.

Robin selected a few novels that seemed promising, but soon found herself migrating to the non-fiction section. It was modest compared to most libraries she'd seen, but covered a wide range of subjects. Really, it was a shame this wasn't a bookstore; she could have filled several pairs of arms with books well worth taking back with her. From collections of local recipes to a field guide on the island's plants and their medicinal uses, there was something for everyone. Except…

She came to the end of the non-fiction shelves and frowned. Retracing her steps, she ran a finger along the titles. Had she missed something? No, there definitely weren't any. Perhaps they had their own section?

"Excuse me," Robin said, once she'd tracked the librarian down to the children's section in the back.

"Did you need help finding something?" She looked at the books in Robin's arms. "Or are you ready to open a temporary account? I do need to mention that for out—ah, visitors, there's a required collateral of—"

"Maybe later. For now, I'd like to know where your history books are? There weren't any in non-fiction, so I thought they might have their own section."

The librarian paused halfway through reshelving a book. Paper crinkled as her grip tightened, and Robin could just make out a wobbly silver line across her white knuckles.

"History is something of a special interest of mine, you see," Robin said.

The librarian's mouth thinned. "We don't do that here." She shoved the book into place.

Robin blinked. "Excuse me?" How could an entire culture just…not _do_ history? Didn't they have any respect for the people who came before them? Any curiosity about the achievements and events of the past?

"Yes, most outsiders react like that. This island tries to look forward, rather than back. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"You're right, I don't." Robin fought down her horror. "It's important to understand the past to build a better future. Every piece of history—of knowledge—is something to be treasured."

The librarian glanced around, then narrowed her eyes at Robin. "I suggest you don't say things like that to anyone else on this island. It won't end well."

"But…how can you know nothing of where you came from? How this town was built? Didn't your parents and grandparents tell you stories about your family? How can—"

"I don't remember my parents, or any other family. And I never said we knew nothing. We're all aware of what we need to know to live here. But we have no history books for outsiders to browse."

"I…see." Robin felt numb. She looked down at the books in her hands, but the titles had gone blurry. She wasn't normally so affected by unexpected situations, even shocking ones, but this one was hitting a bit close to home, she supposed. Perhaps she should join Zoro for a stiff drink. "Well, I won't take up any more of your time, then."

"Now, don't misunderstand me," the librarian said. "I'm not trying to drive you off. You're more than welcome to read any of the books here. But there are certain subjects you'd do well to steer clear of while you're here, if you don't want to find more trouble than you're prepared to handle. I'm just trying to help you."

"You might be surprised at how much experience we have with handling trouble." Robin hugged the books to her. "Why? Why is the past such a taboo here?"

"Ah, that would be telling." The librarian's voice was kind, but firm. The subject was closed. "Now then, would you like to open an account to take those books with you?"

Robin handed her the books with a small smile. "No, thank you. Perhaps I'll come back later."

She had been wrong, she thought as she exited the library. This island was just as strange as any other place they'd been to. It simply hid it better.

* * *

The alcohol at this bar was better than the last one, Zoro decided. It had been worth the long walk. He wasn't sure if he was still in the same town or not, but that didn't matter much. He would find his way back when he was ready. Right now, he was ready for a nap.

He pushed away from the bar. He could sleep anywhere; after living on a ship with Luffy and the others, a little noise—or a lot—wouldn't disturb him. Still, it wasn't often he got the chance for true quiet and solitude, so he didn't intend to stay in town. The forest that covered most of the island was sprawling and dense, the perfect place to disappear for a few hours. And if any wild animals decided to try bothering him, well, he was sure the shitty cook would know what to do with some extra meat.

Once in the forest, it didn't take him long to find his spot: a large boulder with a bowl-shaped depression at the top, blanketed by enough moss to make it nearly as soft as an actual bed. Not that he couldn't have slept on it if it had been as hard as, well, a rock, but variety was a wonderful thing. He was asleep in seconds, the pleasant buzz of alcohol like a lullaby in his veins.

When he woke, he knew two things almost instantly. First, it was far earlier than he'd planned on waking. The sunlight filtering through the trees was a rich gold, only just edging into the reds and pinks of sunset.

Second, he was no longer alone.

It wasn't an animal. The footsteps were too loud and regular for that. Not that there was anything wrong with another human being out here. They probably came all the time, to hunt or get wood or even to collect plants for medicine or something. Whoever it was hadn't seen him. There was no reason he shouldn't roll over and go back to sleep until the sun had set completely.

Except…something had woken him. An islander going about their business shouldn't have been enough to rouse him, not when they'd only passed by at a distance. Zoro reached out with haki, searching for the presence ahead. He frowned. Something wasn't right. He should have been able to sense half the forest from here, but his range seemed to have dwindled to only a few meters. Still, he was just barely close enough to catch the new presence—and he sucked in a breath with a hiss, the turmoil churning there driving his malfunctioning haki from his mind.

This wasn't an islander gathering firewood or taking a nature walk. Anger. Fear. A desperate determination. They rolled off the person in waves, practically poisoning the air around them. What would someone like that be doing in the forest…? Zoro could think of a few options, none of them good.

It wasn't his business. He was a pirate, not a hero. He should just leave whoever it was alone and return to his nap. But he was fully awake now, and his body was already urging him toward the next stage of his plans. A little light exercise would be just the thing to warm him up before making a return trip to the bar. There had been a smoked whiskey he'd wanted to try. He could almost smell it now…

He'd follow the person; see what they were up to. If all they were looking for was a little solitude, he could leave, without his quarry being any the wiser.

And if they were doing something Zoro felt like interfering with? Well, that was fine, too. All it would cost him was a little more time and effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, and welcome to my new fic! The majority of it is already written, though there are scenes throughout the story I'm still working on. Chapter two is basically done, so you should see that within a week or two, at least.
> 
> This story is a bit like a Non-Serial Movie in terms of canon compliance. I've sort of thought of it as being after Wano, but given that 1) the Wano arc hadn't started yet when I began writing this, 2) the arc hasn't ended yet at the time I'm posting this, and therefore 3) I haven't incorporated anything major from the arc into the fic, it's kind of left without a clear place to belong. Anything through the end of WCI can be assumed to have happened, though. For Jinbe, I'm currently going with “he's officially part of the crew, but he went to take care of something (again, lol) and they'll be meeting up with him later”. Not perfect, but I don't want to either revamp the story to add him or leave him out entirely, so here we are.


	2. Moonlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who left comments and kudos! ^_^

**Day 2**

"…Zoro?"

The woman's voice broke the spell. He could move. Gasping, he flung himself away from her. The world tilted as he staggered to his feet. _Have to get away._ He wouldn't, _couldn't_ , let her touch him.

_Run!_

But where? Not back down the alley. That was almost as unthinkable as staying with the woman. And the street was so wide, so open. Nowhere to hide there.

_Run!_

What would happen if she caught him? No, not if—when. She _would_ catch him, he knew it. His small, soft, _wrong_ legs were no match for her long ones.

_Run!_

He heard her footsteps behind him, slow and menacing—[hesitant and confused]—then her voice, calling out again. Choking on a whimper, he bolted down the street. Futile. Hopeless. He couldn't outrun her. But there had to be _something_ he could do, some way to escape. He wanted to screw his eyes shut, pretend that all the bad things would go away if only he couldn't see them. But even terrified, he knew he wasn't a quitter. He couldn't just give up. So instead, he opened his eyes as wide as they would go, searching for a way out.

And then he saw it. A fence, so high that even the woman wouldn't be able to see over it, solid and sturdy except for a gap where a couple of planks had broken. Could he fit? _Impossible,_ scoffed the part of him that insisted his arms weren't this thin, his legs weren't this short, that everything around him was supposed to be smaller than it was. But that part wanted to turn back to the woman. He couldn't trust it. He'd have to try the hole. She was nearly on him already.

The hole was right at the bottom, and he dived for it, sliding across the hard ground. He yelped as a jagged edge of wood caught his shoulder, but wriggled forward. He felt fingers brush his ankle and kicked out, and then he was through, he'd _made_ it, she hadn't caught him. There was no time to waste, though. As soon as his feet were under him, he stumbled back into a run. It wasn't safe yet. She could still find him.

"Wait!" The woman pounded on the wall behind him. "Come back! I need to talk to you!"

He was in another alley, narrower than the last. Was there another way in? How long until she found it? He had to hide before she got through. He didn't have the breath to run much farther.

The alley twisted and zigzagged and forked, more like a maze than anything approaching a path. Maybe it would slow her down, but he was in the same boat, and he couldn't help feeling like he was going in circles. He rounded a corner and heard the crunch of splintering wood behind him. _No, no, no!_ She had broken the fence to get to him. If she caught him…his bones would break much more easily than wood.

Ahead, the path split. Wheezing, he burst through a rickety gate and pelted down the more abandoned-looking route. Had she heard the gate creak? No time to think about it. _Run._ He skidded down a short flight of steps, rounded another corner—

Something seized his arm and yanked him sideways, and he nearly screamed as he tumbled to the ground. But it wasn't the woman, it couldn't be, and making a noise would give away his location. So he swallowed the shout and looked up at whoever had grabbed him.

It was dark; they were in some kind of storage cupboard, and the door had been pulled closed after him. The fading sunlight filtering through the cracks in the door didn't reach the back of the room, but it was enough to let him see his abductor. His rescuer?

A girl perched on the shelf above him. She was much younger than him—the same age as him? How old was he? He didn't know, couldn't remember. She looked like she'd been spun from moonlight. A fluffy bob of shimmery white hair framed a face so pale she almost glowed in the dim light, and her silver-blue eyes looked like gems. There was something soothing about her, and he could feel his frantic heartbeat slow as he stared up at her from the dusty floor.

He was breathless, terrified, and now awed, but somehow he managed to force out a stuttering thanks.

"Shh." She held a finger to her lips. "It's not safe yet."

He clapped a hand over his mouth. She was right. The woman was still out there, and he didn't know how hard the cupboard was to spot from the outside. If she found him now, there'd be nowhere left to run.

After an agonizingly long minute—but too soon, much too soon—he heard footsteps in the alley outside. He flinched, and the girl put a comforting hand on his head.

"Hey!" The shout was much too close, and he curled in on himself, trying to stop shaking. "Zo—kid! Hey! Please, I—I need to talk to you! It's important!"

The woman sounded desperate, and for an instant that other part of him rose up, urging him to throw open the door and go to her, to do whatever it took to make her smile again, because her sounding like that wasn't _right_. He beat down the impulse. He had to stay away. Nothing good could come of being near her.

"Kid! Come on, please!"

"Why is she calling me that?" he whispered.

"Because that's how she sees you, I suppose," the girl replied, just as quietly. "As something different from herself."

He huddled there, the girl tucked on the shelf above him, for what felt like hours, listening to the woman call. He silently prayed she wouldn't walk past his hiding place. _She'd see the door no matter how well it was hidden. She's too smart to miss something like that._

His eyes widened, and he bit his lips to keep from making a sound. How did he know that? He didn't know the woman, had never seen her before. Or had he? He wracked his brain, but couldn't come up with a single memory. Still, it wasn't normal to feel this kind of terror for someone at a first meeting. What if he _had_ met her before, and it had been such a horrible memory he'd made himself forget the whole thing?

He didn't like this fear. He wanted to get rid of it. It had no place in his life, not when he was going to…

What? He was going to…there was something he was supposed to do, something very important, but the memory wouldn't come. It wasn't the kind of thing someone could just forget, but he had. All he knew was that it wasn't something he could do by running away and hiding. He should stand up, go out there, and fight the woman, no matter how scared he was. His hand clenched at his side. No sword.

Wait. Sword?

Like a shaft of sunlight breaking through fog, a scrap of memory came to him, and he seized it with all his might. The greatest swordsman. That was it. That was what he was supposed to do. Become the greatest swordsman in the world. Because he'd promised. Promised _her_. He didn't know her name, couldn't even picture her face clearly, but he knew she'd been his world once, and he couldn't let her down.

She would have told him to fight. The greatest swordsman in the world wouldn't cower in a cupboard like this. But he had no sword, and the fiery woman was so much bigger than he was, and his legs didn't want to move, and—

"She's left."

He jumped and looked up at the moon-girl. Sure enough, everything was quiet outside. "You sure?" The words came out in a croak.

The girl smiled at him. "I have good senses."

He eased out of his tight ball, still half-expecting the door to fly open at any moment.

"Who w-was she?" He despised the way his voice shook, even at a whisper.

"Trouble."

He'd figured out that much for himself. "Why does she make me feel like…like…" _Like I'll die if I get too close. Like the world will end if she touches me. Like a coward. Like someone who isn't_ me _._

The girl sighed. "She's a Shard."

"A…what?"

"A shard of the past. Part of something that's been broken beyond repair." The girl's voice turned sharp. "You should stay away from her."

He looked down, curling his toes. "I…don't know if I can." It didn't make sense, even to him. Just thinking about the fiery woman brought back a surge of that alien terror that had no place in the life of the future world's greatest swordsman. Now that she was gone, though, something else flickered up to join it. It was like she'd burned a hole in him that only she could fill. Being close to her had been the most unpleasant experience he could remember. Maybe that didn't mean a lot, since he couldn't seem to remember much of anything, but it meant something. It had hurt, and even now he wanted to scrub himself raw until he couldn't feel the traces of her gaze on his skin.

And yet, something in him welcomed the pain.

He didn't want to get close to her again. He didn't want her to see him, didn't want her to talk to him, and he definitely, absolutely, did not want her to touch him. But…he wanted to see _her_. From a distance would be fine. Far enough that the bad feelings wouldn't overwhelm him. He just knew that he couldn't imagine never seeing her again.

"It will hurt more if you don't." The girl frowned at him. Was she sad? Angry? "It's not good to chase the past."

"I don't remember a past." He didn't mention the other girl, the one he'd made the promise to. She was special. He would keep her to himself for now.

Her smile was soft. "I know. It's always hard at first. But it will get easier." She swung her legs neatly to the floor and stood. "Are you hungry? I know a place where you can get food. And proper clothes."

He looked down at himself. He hadn't paid any attention to clothes before, full of the need to run away. He was wearing a stained shirt that might have been blue under all the dirt and grime. It also must have belonged to a giant, because it hung off his shoulders and trailed the floor like a dress. Really, it was a miracle the thing hadn't fallen off or tripped him during his wild dash. Whoever it had originally belonged to had been bigger than the woman. Much bigger. He shuddered. He couldn't even imagine being that big.

[It wasn't too big, it was a perfectly normal shirt, he was just too—]

He flinched, shaking his head, and pushed himself to his feet.

"You can get cleaned up, too," the girl continued. "Those hands must hurt."

His hands looked worse than the shirt: scraped and bloody, smeared with dirt and peppered with splinters and bits of gravel. _What was I doing?_ This couldn't all be from the alley. Where had he been before that? He thought hard. Green? There had been green things, lots of things, all around him. Something rough against his hands, digging into his skin. Something white? And…there had been screaming, and pain, so much pain—

He shook his head, driving the thoughts away. Maybe he didn't want to remember. Anyway, his hands did hurt, but they would heal. There was nothing seriously wrong with them.

A loud rumble filled the cupboard, and his face flushed with heat. "I guess I could eat."

"Then let's go," the girl said. "Quickly. She might come back."

He felt very brave stepping out of the cupboard after that cheerful thought, but the alley was deserted, and everything was quiet as he followed the girl through an endless maze of streets. So quiet that after a few minutes he found himself searching for a way to break the silence.

"Why were you in that cupboard?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why were you there? Did you know I was going to go that way?"

The girl hesitated, peering around a corner for longer than she really needed to before judging it safe. "Someone told me," she said at last. "I saw you earlier and wanted to help, but you run really fast and I lost track of you. A friend said they saw you heading this way, so I circled around."

He frowned. "When did you see me?" He'd been running from something. He couldn't remember what, only that it was important to get away. Had she been there then? Was she working with whoever—or whatever—had been chasing him? He took a step back.

"I saw you get…attacked." The girl bit her lip. "I'm sorry. For not doing anything to help. I just…I was scared. I didn't know what to do. So I—I wanted to try to help you now, at least."

"Oh." For a moment, he considered asking her what had happened, what she knew about his attacker. But hadn't he just decided he didn't want to remember?

The girl held out a hand. "Come on. We should keep moving."

"What's your name?" he asked her as they hurried down a set of worn steps.

The girl glanced at him, that soft smile back on her face. "Call me Sylvi."

"I'm…Zoro." A moment ago he hadn't been sure he'd had a name at all, much less what it was, but it settled into place easily, and he immediately felt a little less lost. He had a name. He pushed away the thought that it was the same name the fiery woman had been calling.

Sylvi didn't look nearly as pleased about his revelation. "You don't have to use that," she said. "A different name would be easier. I can help you choose, if you like."

He was shaking his head before she'd finished speaking. "No. I'm Zoro."

The promise-girl had called him that, as they'd talked about dreams. The details were fuzzy. He still didn't know her name, and trying to think about it made something between his eyes throb, but he knew his own name, and he wasn't going to throw it away.

Sylvi's mouth thinned, but she nodded. "If that's what you want. Just remember: names are one thing, people are another. If anyone else makes you feel like that woman did, you need to stay away from them."

A chill ran up his spine. "There are more like her?"

"For now. They'll be gone eventually." She turned a corner and stopped. "Go to the end of this street and take a left. Knock on the door of the fifth house down. It's blue. Tell them I sent you, and they'll give you whatever you need."

Zoro felt like the ground had dropped out from under him. "Wait—I thought you were coming with me!"

"It's better if you go on your own. I don't want to make things awkward." She offered him a small, amused smile. "You'll be fine. A strong swordsman like you has nothing to fear in that house."

"How…how did you know I was…?"

"I have my ways." The amusement in her face shifted to concern. "Zoro…"

Her hands looked like pale spiders in the dark, writhing and twining together. Abruptly, she pulled him into a hug, her thin arms uncomfortably tight around him. Zoro's first instinct was to push away, but her touch calmed some of the panic inside him. Sylvi had saved him. She was safe. He could trust her.

"Please be careful," Sylvi whispered in his ear. "Don't trust too easily."

He jerked back to look at her, but she was already slipping free, the small smile back in place.

"What—"

"Remember: left, then the blue house. I'll see you later, Zoro." She flitted back around the corner like a butterfly carried on the wind.

It took him longer than it should have to remember how to make his body move. In reality, it was probably only a few seconds, but that was long enough; by the time he rounded the corner to look for her, she was gone. He fought down a spike of panic. He could do this. He didn't need Sylvi to watch over his every move.

His stomach growled again. Right. Food.

It took an awfully long time to get to the end of the street. It had seemed shorter when Sylvi had showed him. He made it eventually, though, and peered around the corner. No one there. He sighed in relief; he'd half expected the fiery woman to find him again as soon as he was alone.

Where did he go now? Sylvi had said left, but which way was that? Zoro frowned, annoyed with himself. Forgetting memories was one thing, but how could he not remember basic directions?

He looked along the street, first one way, then the other, as though somewhere there'd be a helpful sign reading "left". There wasn't, of course. But—wait, down there, that was a blue house. Sylvi had said blue, hadn't she? The house's windows were open, spilling a warm, welcoming light into the street. He sniffed. There was food that way, too—good food. If he'd ever smelled food this good before, he couldn't remember it. That must be the place. Zoro took a deep breath and trotted down the street toward his new home.

His newfound courage nearly deserted him when his tentative knock on the door was answered by the largest man he had ever seen, but he steeled himself and blurted, "Sylvi sent me. She said you'd help."

The man's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Sylvi did?"

Zoro jutted out his chin. "Yes."

"Well, then." The man stepped back and gestured at the bright doorway. "Guess you'd better come in."

Inside, there were more people: a thin-faced man, younger than the big man who'd let him in, and several children, most at least a couple years older than Zoro. None of the faces stirred the embers of fear and longing the fiery woman had left in him, and Zoro felt himself begin to relax.

The thin man helped him clean up and bandaged his hands while one of the children found clothes that didn't resemble a tent. By the time Zoro was sitting in front of the fireplace, most of the way through a bowl of something hot and tasty, his eyelids were drooping. It had been a long day, even if he couldn't remember most of it.

* * *

"I don't like this."

"Then you're in the wrong line of work, Melwyn. Taking care of Renewals is what we're here for."

"That's not what I mean! Have you ever seen him before?"

"You know the rules about Shards. He wouldn't be here if I knew him. They're too careful for that."

"You visit other towns more than anyone else I know. You could have seen him around."

"I think I would remember if I had."

"Exactly! I've never even _heard_ of someone on the island having that hair color. But do you know what I _did_ hear?"

"I imagine you're about to tell me."

"I _heard_ that some outsiders came to the island two days ago. Strong ones. And several of them had bright, _unusual_ hair."

"What's your point?"

"Please tell me you're not seriously this clueless. What if he's one of them? What if—"

"Whatever he _was_ , he's one of us now."

"Don't you think the other outsiders might have a problem with that? There was a huge fire the same night they got here, you know. People are saying they might have—"

"That's for _Her_ to deal with. Our job is to take care of him. We protect our own, you know that."

"But this is dangerous! If they start digging—"

"Keep your voice down. You'll wake the kids. There's no point discussing this further."

"One boy isn't worth the whole island!"

"I said, _enough_. Now go on. There are dishes waiting."

* * *

"Find anything?"

Franky shook his head. "If anyone's seen Zoro in the last two days, they're not telling."

"Damn it." Sanji lopped off the top of a carrot with more force than was strictly necessary. "The idiot probably got himself lost in the forest. We should just leave him there until morning; he can take care of himself."

"We can't!" Chopper turned watery eyes on Sanji. "There's something weird about this island, we all noticed it. We _can't_ just leave him out there alone another night!"

Sanji sighed. "I know, I know. Calm down. Panicking won't help anyone." Another carrot met its end. _Damn it, Marimo, get your ass back here! If you make_ _Nami-san and Robin-chan_ _run around a dark forest looking for you, I'll never make you sushi again._ Not that he'd let it come to that. He'd search every last tree himself before putting the ladies in danger.

_When did I start thinking of this island as dangerous?_ True, there had been something…off about the locals, but they hadn't been threatening, just…oddly distant. There had been no attacks or ambushes, not a glimpse of a weapon. No one had even recognized them, as far as he could tell. The shopkeepers weren't the friendliest, but had served them with brisk efficiency, their arms piled high with supplies of more-than-decent quality in minutes. Overall, the place gave the impression that the islanders wanted nothing more than to be left in peace.

_Problem is, people like that can be willing to go to some pretty far extremes to make sure their "peace" isn't disturbed._ Sanji knew firsthand the kind of chaos their crew could cause. Zoro loose in a place like this wasn't good. They had to find him.

"…have any trouble resupplying?"

Sanji's knife paused at the unfamiliar voice drifting in through the open window.

"No, everyone was perfectly helpful."

That was Robin. Sanji breathed a small sigh of relief that she'd made it back without trouble.

"Is there a problem with your log pose? It should have set by yesterday morning. I'm afraid we don't have anyone here with the knowledge to repair them, but we do have a few spares we could—"

"Not at all. It's already pointing toward the next island."

"Then I'm afraid I don't understand what you're still doing here, miss. As I said when you arrived, this isn't a tourist stop. It'd be best for all of us if you moved along."

"You may be underestimating your island's appeal. One of our crew hasn't been seen since the day before yesterday. No doubt he simply came across something so interesting he completely lost track of time; I'm sure no one here would want to cause trouble when we were planning to leave so soon, wouldn't you agree?"

The other voice sounded uneasy now. "None of us want any trouble, miss."

"Then I'm sure you'll let us know if you see him, won't you? He's easy to recognize: well built, green hair, carrying more swords than most people would know what to do with."

"I'm afraid I haven't seen anyone like that."

"Well, if you do, you know where to find us. The sooner he's back on board, the sooner we'll be on our way."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Please do."

Franky went outside, maybe to make sure the man really was leaving, and Sanji returned to his chopping. He was more relieved than he should have been when he heard Luffy's loud voice a few minutes later. Luffy was just as likely to find trouble as Zoro, and tracking down one directionless idiot was enough to deal with. More voice joined in as Sanji worked. Usopp, Brook…that just left Nami and the missing Zoro, and from what he could overhear, neither had been seen recently. He felt a pang of worry at Nami's absence. She would normally have been one of the first to return. Still, she wasn't late yet, and she wouldn't thank him for abandoning dinner to look for her if nothing was wrong. If she hadn't arrived by the time he finished cooking, then he go, and he'd tear the whole town apart to find her if he had to.

He was just sliding the casserole out of the oven when the hubbub outside changed in tone. One of the knots of worry inside him dissolved as he heard Nami's angelic voice. She was here. She was safe. Then her tone registered, and he was outside so fast he only had a vague memory of setting down the hot dish and dashing to the door.

She'd found something; he could see it in her face. Not Zoro himself, maybe, since she'd come back alone and without calling them via den den mushi, and probably not anything good, judging by her expression, but something more than the "haven't seen him" the rest of them had been getting all day.

"How can you not know if you saw him?" Usopp was asking. "He's not the kind of guy who blends into a crowd!"

"I don't know because I don't!" Nami's fists were clenched, and Sanji hadn't seen her this close to tears in a long time. "It _couldn't_ have been him, I don't understand how it—but there's no way it's just…" She scrubbed at her face with a shaking hand.

She was swaying, Sanji noticed, and considerably move disheveled than she normally allowed herself to look. He rushed forward, offering a supportive arm. "Why don't we continue this inside, Nami-san? You can tell us what happened while we eat."

"Thanks, Sanji-kun. I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

No one besides Luffy had much interest in dinner, but they all made valiant attempts to pick at the food while Nami stared into a cup of tea and struggled for words.

"I don't know if I can really say I found anything," she said at last. "These people are definitely hiding _something_ , but I'm as sure as I can be that no one I talked to has actually _seen_ Zoro."

"Ain't that the story of the day," Franky muttered.

"But something did happen," Robin prompted.

"I was on my way back to the ship." Nami's hands tightened around her cup. "And this—this kid came barreling out of an alley like a pack of hellhounds was after him and nearly flattened me."

"A kid?" Brook asked.

"Brat." Sanji raised an eyebrow. "So, did he say a green-haired monster was chasing him or something?"

"No." Nami swallowed. "The thing is…he looked like Zoro." She looked up. "And I don't just mean similar, I mean _exactly_ the same, aside from having both eyes and about fifteen fewer years."

"O-okay, that's kinda creepy." Usopp's hands crept up to hug himself.

"You think there's a connection?" Robin asked.

"I think there has to be." Nami said. "It's too big a coincidence to run into someone who looks exactly like Zoro at the same time he's gone missing. Besides, his face when he saw me…it was like I was his worst nightmare come to life. I wasn't just another stranger to him."

"Maybe he's had bad run-ins with adults?" Franky suggested without any real conviction. "If someone was chasing him, he might've been scared of anyone he bumped into."

"Maybe." Nami didn't sound convinced.

"I think our next step is to talk to him," Robin said. "Where is he now?"

Nami's shoulders slumped. "I messed up. He was so scared, and I had to say _something_ , and with the way he looked and everything, Zoro's name just…slipped out. The second I said it, he shot up like his hair was on fire and bolted."

Chopper frowned. "You didn't follow him?"

"I tried! I lost him because some idiot hadn't repaired the conveniently kid-sized hole in their fence. By the time I found a way in, he'd vanished. I spent over an hour looking."

"We'll have to find him," Robin said. "I think you're right, Nami. He must be involved in some way."

"And it's not like we're overflowing with other leads to follow," Usopp said.

"Just what we needed, another moss-haired idiot to look for." Sanji pulled out a fresh cigarette. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

Luffy had been uncharacteristically quiet during Nami's story. Maybe because his mouth had been filled with the majority of their dinner. Now he pounded a fist on the table, narrowly missing his empty plate. "Okay! Let's go find Zoro and Little Zoro!"

"Do we have to go now?" Usopp looked pleadingly at Luffy. "It's getting late, he's probably holed up somewhere by now…can't we wait until morning?"

The bang of the door as Luffy sprinted outside was his only answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three might take a bit longer, since there's at least one scene in it I still need to write. But I'll see how much I can get done in the next week or two. It might not end up being a very long scene, who knows?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Searching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented and/or left kudos! This took longer than I hoped, but here is the next chapter finally! ^_^

**Day 3**

"Breakfast, kid."

Zoro stared down at his plate. The food looked good, even if it was different than he was used to. _What_ am _I used to?_ He blinked, and the thought was gone. He dug in.

He felt better today. Settled, like someone had gone through his mind with a broom while he slept, sweeping away the fragmented thoughts and memories that didn't belong to him. It had occurred to him that there should have been more memories that _were_ his—he was too old to have been born yesterday, and everything before that was a blur—but he found he didn't care much. Nothing was too big or too small, and his body felt light and comfortable. He swung his legs as he ate, enjoying the thunk they made as they hit the chair.

"When you're done, come out back," the big man told him. "Got some chores for you to help with."

Zoro nodded. That was fair, wasn't it? To work in exchange for the help the man had given him? He'd done similar things at the dojo.

_Dojo?_

The spoon slipped in Zoro's hand as he groped for the memory. This one didn't slide away like the others. It was ragged and fuzzy at the edges, like it had been chewed on by a dog, but he could easily picture the dojo's wide wooden floors, the kind man with glasses, the promise-girl he'd admired…

He couldn't remember their names. Why couldn't he remember? Their faces were so clear, why wouldn't the names come?

"You okay, kid?"

Zoro jumped and looked up at the man. "Y-yeah, fine. I mean, sure. I'll help."

"You know, if you need another day to adjust—"

"No!" Zoro's spoon clattered to the table. "I can help!" He was suddenly eager to move, to _do_ something. Maybe then he could forget this frustration and go back to just feeling light.

"Well, all right. But you tell me if you need a break, got it?"

"Okay."

The man patted Zoro's shoulder. His hand was hard with calluses and old scars, and Zoro could see the edge of a fresh bandage peeking out from his sleeve, but it was a warm hand. Reassuring.

"The first few days are the roughest, kid. But that's why this place is here. You're welcome for as long as you need it."

Zoro swallowed hard. It wasn't that he thought there was anything wrong with crying in general, but right now he desperately didn't want to break down in tears in front of this giant who was depending on him, who thought he was capable of handling a share of the work, as though he was no different from a grown-up. He nodded wordlessly.

"I'm Boran, by the way," the man said as he headed for the back door. "Don't fret if you haven't settled on a name yet. That's half the fun. Take your time, try a few out. We can call you something different every day, if you like."

Now it was a laugh he was struggling to hold back. "Zoro," he managed to get out. "My name is Zoro."

Boran eyed him. "You sound pretty sure of yourself there." He stooped to pick up an axe leaning near the door and hefted it over his shoulder. "I can appreciate that. All right, Zoro, better finish that before it gets too cold."

* * *

"Zoro, this is Melwyn." Leaning on his axe, Boran gestured to the thin-faced man who'd helped clean Zoro up the night before. "You'll be helping him with the animals today."

"That's an unusual name," Melwyn said, once Boran had returned to the large woodpile at the side of the house. "Why'd you pick that one?"

Zoro stepped back, drawing himself up as tall as he could. Melwyn was still more than twice his height. "It's my name."

Melwyn huffed. "Yes, I _know_ that. I'm asking where you got it from."

Zoro kicked at a pinecone. "Dunno. It's mine."

"Oh, lovely." Melwyn dragged a hand down his face. "Couldn't you at least have picked a new name? You're a liability as it is."

"What's wrong with my name?" Zoro demanded. "Why does everyone want me to change it?"

"I—" Melwyn sighed. "Never mind. Just take this and go feed the chickens." He shoved a metal bucket at Zoro.

The chickens, at least, didn't seem to have a problem with his name. They only cared that he was new at this and wasn't getting the feed out of the bucket fast enough. They settled down once most of the grain was in their feeder (or on the ground), and Zoro sat on a nearby log to inspect his new scrapes. There was a little blood from the deepest ones, but he'd had worse just last night. Nothing worth crying about.

There was a chirp above him, one that didn't sound anything at all like a chicken, and Zoro looked up to find the strangest bird he'd ever seen. It was red, its body slightly darker than the blood on his arm but its eyes so bright they were almost glowing. It glittered in the sun like a jewel, and as it cocked its head at him, he thought he saw glimpses of blue sky through its feathers.

_That's stupid. How can it be alive if it's got holes in it?_

The bird stared at him, twisting its head back and forth and leaning forward on its branch.

"What?" he growled at it. A couple of chickens squawked and retreated to the other side of the feeder, but the bird just kept staring.

Zoro dug out a handful of chicken feed from the bottom of the bucket and tossed it toward the bird's tree. "Here. Now leave me alone."

The bird didn't leave him alone. It called a friend.

The second bird was white, though it could have been gold with how much sunlight was shining off it. It chirped at him.

" _What_?" There was no reason two weird birds should bother him this much, but they were creepy, the way they kept looking at him, and he wanted them to go away.

The white bird chirped at him again, louder this time, and fluffed its feathers, moving up and down the branch.

Zoro threw another handful of food at the tree. "I don't have anything else!"

The white bird squawked loudly. The red bird turned and pecked the white—not hard, Zoro thought, but the white bird still jumped. They fussed at each other, an argument of squawks and chirps and headshakes, then the white bird took off. It swooped so low over Zoro's head that he raised his arms to shield himself, and then it was gone, soaring through the yard.

Zoro turned back to look at the red bird. "What?" he said, for what felt like the thousandth time. "You didn't want to share?"

The red bird stared at him.

"Fine, don't eat it." Zoro stood and dumped the last of the bucket into the feeder. "I'm leaving."

When he turned back to look, the red bird was gone.

* * *

"Oh my, what happened here?" Brook had been to this part of town before, on their first day on the island. Then, it had been a perfectly serviceable city block: a little run-down, a few of the bigger buildings seemingly empty, but nothing especially filthy or unsafe. He'd had tea in a little shop on the corner.

Now, the entire block was nothing but rubble and blackened ruins. A dozen or so people were wading through the remains, shifting burned timber and stones.

The big man in front of him coughed, wiping a streak of soot from his face. "It's obvious, isn't it? Big fire. Took out the whole block before it was stopped."

"I'm sorry to hear that. When did it happen?"

"Three nights ago." The man squinted at Brook. "Same night you lot showed up, in fact."

"I hope you're not suggesting we were involved," Brook said. "That's not the case, I assure you."

The man grunted and bent down to shift a charred beam. "And yet one of your crew's been missing since then, haven't they? Odd coincidence, if you ask me."

"You've heard about that?"

"I reckon the whole town has by now. Maybe the whole island, even."

The man pulled a dented metal vase from the rubble where the beam had been, and tossed it onto a pile of similar objects—things which were soot-damaged but salvageable, or made of valuable material that could be scrapped and reused. The beam was left to lie in its new spot in the ashes. It seemed a rather inefficient way to clear the area.

"I see. The timing does seem odd, I admit, but I'm quite sure Zoro wouldn't intentionally harm your town or its people without reason. You haven't heard anything, have you? Were there any survivors? Witnesses?"

"As far as we can tell, no one was around when the fire started. A few people showed up once they realized what was going on, but if they saw anything, they haven't mentioned it."

"So no one was killed? That's a relief."

"Yeah, suppose so. Wouldn't want to have to expand the cemetery ahead of schedule."

 _What an odd reaction._ "I…suppose not. So you haven't heard anything about our missing crewmember?"

"Nope. But I'll tell you this much: if he did have something to do with this, I wouldn't expect to see him again anytime soon."

"And why is that?"

"Well, we may be simple townsfolk, but we like the life we've got here. And we don't like disruptions."

There was no chance at all that Zoro could have been taken out by "simple townsfolk", but arguing the point would just make Zoro a bigger suspect for the fire, so Brook held the tongue he didn't have.

"I know you lot think you're bigshot pirates and all," the man said, as though reading Brook's mind, "but you wouldn't be the first to try something, and in case you didn't notice, we're still here living, and all those other pirates aren't. So I'd watch your step."

"We'll keep that in mind." Brook took a step back. "Where is this cemetery, by the way?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Well, as my friend clearly isn't here, I'll need to try somewhere else, and that seems as good a place as any." He couldn't think of any reason for Zoro to visit a graveyard, but as far as he knew, none of them had checked there yet, so he might as well take a look. Best to cover every possibility.

The man frowned. "Your friend a graverobber?"

"Certainly not! But he does have a habit of finding unusual places to sleep; it's possible he would enjoy the quiet there." It might even be true, now that he thought about it, though that wouldn't explain why he still hadn't returned, days later, or Nami's encounter with Mini-Zoro.

The man tossed another twisted item onto his pile. "It's outside of town. 'Bout a mile inland to the west. You're lucky you didn't land on the other side of the island. You'd have had quite a walk."

"I would have thought each town would have its own."

The man shrugged. "No need for that."

Did the people here not visit the graves of their loved ones? Why would they want to have to travel so far? _Perhaps most of them burn their dead, and keep the ashes at home?_

He cleared his throat. "Ah, by the way, you haven't seen a green-haired child around by any chance, have you?"

"A green-haired…?" The man's eyebrows rose. "No. Now get going, I have work to do." The man turned back to the rubble. "For your sake, I hope you're telling the truth about all this. Our cemetery might be on the small side, but I'm sure we can make room for a few pirates if necessary. Should be easy enough. You look like you're halfway there already."

* * *

"Small" was an understatement. Even without counting, Brook was sure there were no more than a hundred graves dotting the hillside. Whatever the man had said, this couldn't be the cemetery for the entire island, not unless people had only been living there for a few decades—and he'd already seen buildings much older than that.

There was no sign of Zoro. Not that he'd really expected there to be, but it was always good to try for hopeful.

"Oh, I don't believe this! _This_ is what she meant—Brook! What are you doing here?"

"Good afternoon, Nami-san. Ah, someone mentioned this place and I was out of other ideas. And you?"

Nami's brows furrowed in annoyance. "I ran into this old lady who said that if I'd lost someone, I should go to where the lost people are, and gave me directions to this place. I thought she meant some kind of lost-and-found, or an orphanage or something, not—" She waved a hand wildly at the graves. "Now I don't know whether she was messing with me or just really confused."

Brook let out a chuckling sigh. "Well, it seems this is a dead end."

Nami groaned. "Don't."

"No luck finding either of the Zoros today, then?"

"Nothing. Not a glimpse of either of them. No leads at all. I just talked to Robin, too, and she says the same." Nami leaned back into a tree, dragging a hand down her face. "I swear, when we get him back I'm going to add so much to his debt he'll never be done paying it off, not even if he lives a thousand years."

* * *

"Aren't you done yet?"

Zoro scowled and shoved his latest messily-peeled potato at Melwyn. "No." There were at least a dozen more still waiting in the bucket.

Melwyn peered at the potato, turning it over in his hands. "You'd better not have bled on this."

"Of course I didn't!" A potato peeler might not be a sword, but it still had a blade, sort of. His hands reeked of raw potato, and Melwyn was making it very clear that he wasn't working fast enough, but there wasn't even a trace of blood anywhere. Zoro knew how to keep from cutting himself on a blade.

"Fine." Melwyn dropped the potato into a bowl of ice water to join the others Zoro had finished. "Hurry up with the rest of them."

Snatching another potato from the bucket, Zoro wondered if it would be worth trying to hit Melwyn with a flying piece of peel.

It had been a long day, one that passed far too slowly. Boran had been busy in the house and Melwyn had rushed out somewhere soon after they'd finished with the animals, so once the morning chores were done, there was nothing to do but hang out with the other kids, and Zoro didn't feel like he fit in with them. He might be the youngest, but he was stronger than most of them, and after he'd accidentally injured one of the older boys during a game of tag, it wasn't long before he was "just watching" by unspoken agreement.

Well, that was fine. He wasn't looking for friends. He'd spent the afternoon training on his own, watching the others play, and trying to ignore how bored he was. He would have liked to explore the town, but the thought of the fiery woman had been enough to make him hesitate. The one time he'd worked up the courage to push the back gate open and peer out, Boran had called him over to help bring some vegetables inside.

And then Melwyn had come back. Wherever he'd been, he didn't look like he'd had fun, and while he hadn't exactly been friendly before, now he was acting like Zoro had killed his cat or something. Zoro wasn't sure which of them wanted to leave the room more, but Boran had paired them up for dinner duty, so they were stuck.

Zoro finished the next potato and threw it. He hadn't actually been aiming for Melwyn, but he felt a deep sense of satisfaction as the potato missed Melwyn's pointy nose by a hair and landed in the bowl with a huge splash.

Melwyn sputtered, wiping water from his face. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Peeling potatoes."

"And trying to take my head off with them, too, apparently!"

"The counter's too high. How else am I supposed to get them in the bowl?"

"Give them to me, like you did with _all the others_."

"This is faster. You're the one who said I was taking too long."

"Listen, you little—" Melwyn pointed at Zoro with his knife. "I've got no choice but to let you stay tonight, but don't get comfortable. You shouldn't be here, and I'm not just going to stand back and let people get hurt when I can do something about it. So watch yourself." He turned his back on Zoro and continued furiously chopping vegetables.

Zoro frowned, staring down at his next potato. What had he done? Sure, he'd hurt that one boy, but it hadn't been _that_ bad, and he'd apologized and everything. And he _hadn't_ hit Melwyn with the potato, even if he'd really wanted to. There wasn't any reason for Melwyn to say those things, or look at him with so much anger and fear.

Fear? Why would Melwyn be afraid of him? Why—

 _The fiery woman._ Had Melwyn met her? Maybe she'd threatened him, hurt him to try to find Zoro. Maybe she'd said she'd hurt the other kids if they didn't give Zoro up.

Something about that didn't feel right, but it was the only thing that made sense. And if it was true? What would he do? He didn't want to meet the woman again, but hiding like a coward while other people got hurt because of him was unthinkable.

"Hey, get a move on! There'll be plenty of time for sitting around in a daze after dinner!"

Zoro jumped, nearly dropping the potato, and went back to peeling. He'd think about things overnight. Hopefully, by tomorrow, he'd know what to do.

* * *

**Day 4**

"All right, Liability-kun, time for you to leave."

Zoro's grip tightened on the bucket of chicken feed until he heard it creak. "Why?"

Melwyn glared back at him. "Because you shouldn't be here! You were never supposed to—but whatever, how it happened doesn't matter now. What matters is that if you stay here, something bad is going to happen. You stick out like a sore thumb with that hair, and you didn't even change your name—they'll find you in no time."

"Who will?"

"The outsiders! They're already looking. It's all over town: 'Where's Zoro?' 'Have you seen Zoro?' 'We're not leaving until we find Zoro!' They'll track you down, believe me. And then what? What do you think they'll do to the people who hid you from them?"

"But…why? I don't even know them! Why are they—why would they—"

"Does it matter? The end result will be the same."

Zoro couldn't seem to get enough air, even though he could hear how fast he was breathing. The fiery woman. She had to be one of these "outsiders". And Sylvi had said there were more of them.

Why did they want him so badly? He couldn't remember anything that might help. What would they do to him if they found him? And…Zoro glanced back at the house. Would they really hurt the people here just because they'd helped him? It didn't feel right, didn't make sense, but if there was any chance it could be true…

"Let's all hope you make the right choice," Melwyn said, and stalked off to tend to the large brown cow on the other side of the yard.

Zoro's vision was blurry as he dumped the chicken feed into the feeder. He could at least do that much before leaving. And he needed to leave. Get off the island completely if possible, but at the very least he could find a better place to stay than a house with a big open yard and a door the outsiders could walk right through. He'd have to be sneaky, though. Boran would probably try to stop him if he saw.

Leaving the bucket on the ground, Zoro pushed his way through the bushes until he was sure he was hidden from view, then worked his way around to the gate. He tried to ignore the drops of definitely-not-rain that fell on the leaves in front of him.

He'd thought he could be safe here. Boran was nice, and even if he couldn't be friends with the other children, they hadn't been mean. Melwyn…well, okay, Zoro didn't like him, but he wasn't scary the way the fiery woman was. Zoro could have made a place with them. But the outsiders had taken that away.

Anger and fear twisted inside him as he quietly unlatched the gate and slipped out. Next time he saw the outsiders, he wouldn't freeze up. Next time, he'd make them pay for ruining his chance at a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This felt like kind of a filler chapter (maybe that's why I had so much trouble with it), but there's still some important stuff in here. I'm really looking forward to the next one, though. Maybe we'll get to see whether Zoro can follow through on those words. ;)
> 
> There aren't any missing scenes to write for chapter four, so I'm hoping to have it up in a week or so, depending on how busy I am with other stuff and how long it takes me to edit.


	4. Hide and Seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented and/or left kudos! They really encouraged me to work on this (even when I probably should have been doing other things, haha). I appreciate you all, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**Day 4**

The sun was out, but it was still early, and the streets were nearly empty. Zoro felt horribly exposed. He needed to find a place to lie low until he could get off the island. He didn't want to leave—even as scared as he was, the island felt safe and comfortable—but if he stayed here, the outsiders would find him eventually. Part of him wanted that, wanted the chance to follow through on his bold thoughts of a few minutes ago, but he couldn't be stupid about this. He _wouldn't_ freeze up if he saw them again, but he was one kid and they were an unknown number of adults. Escaping without being caught was also beating them, in a way.

So he would hide for the day, then once it was dark he'd go down to the docks and find a ship to take. He'd never sailed a ship before, but it couldn't be that hard. You untied it, opened the sail, and the wind did the rest. Easy. He just had to get one without being spotted.

Several minutes of not-quite-running later, the itch of imagined eyes watching him had intensified and Zoro was desperate to get off the wide street. He glanced around, made sure none of the people he _could_ see were looking his way, then ducked into an alley. It was narrow and completely deserted, and the exposed feeling immediately lessened. Zoro blew out a relieved breath and slumped against the wall.

But where did he go from here? He had no idea which way the docks were. The only hiding place he knew was the cupboard Sylvi had pulled him into, and trying to find it again in this maze of streets was more likely to get him caught than give him a place to stay. He thumped his head against the wall behind him, as if that would shake an idea loose.

Surprisingly, it worked. Instead of the stone wall, his head thunked against wood, which turned out to be an old ladder clinging to the side of the building. A ladder that went up to the roof. Roofs were high, and high places were good for seeing far away things, especially big things like docks. A roof was a pretty good hiding place, too: most people didn't look up much, and he'd have a better chance of seeing someone coming.

The ladder was rickety and half-rotten. The rungs creaked under his feet, and Zoro nearly fell twice when they snapped clean through. He made it to the roof, though, and let a satisfied smile tug at his lips. No adult could follow him up here; the ladder would never bear their weight. Could he make it all the way to the docks without going back to the ground? Some of the buildings looked awfully far apart, but maybe there would be clotheslines or something he could use to cross. That was what people in stories did in situations like this, right?

Zoro turned in place, one hand shielding his eyes from the morning sun as he scanned his surroundings. There. Those poles had to be ship masts. There weren't a lot, but they were so mast-like and so close to each other that he was sure he'd found the docks. Now he just had to get there.

He crept to the edge of the roof and peered down. The alley on this side was even narrower than the one on the side he'd come up from, and Zoro thought he might be able to jump it. He backed up, giving himself plenty of room, took a deep breath, then sprinted forward.

He kicked off hard, and for just an instant, he felt like he was flying. Then gravity took over, and the next roof suddenly seemed much too far away. Zoro flailed his arms wildly, managed to snag the edge of the roof with one hand, and hit the side of the building with enough force to drive the air from his lungs. His fingers started to slip.

_No! I can't fall here! No no no no—_

A hand seized his wrist and dragged him onto the roof. Zoro took a deep breath, fighting the urge to throw up, and raised his head, ready to thank his savior.

"Found you!"

His feet might have been on the roof, but Zoro still felt the world drop away. A black-haired man grinned at him from beneath a battered straw hat. It was a wide, ferocious grin, full of teeth, the smile of a hungry wolf ready to devour him—

[No, it was bright and cheery and excited, the smile of someone barely restraining himself from bouncing with joy—]

A croaking whine left Zoro's mouth, and it took everything he had not to collapse where he stood. His arm burned in the man's grip. He could taste his breakfast in the back of his throat. This was worse than the fiery woman, so much worse. He was sure he would combust on the spot if the man kept looking at him much longer.

"Whoa, Nami was right!" The voice rang in his head, too loud, too harsh—were his ears bleeding? "Hey, Little Zoro, come back to the ship with me!"

_He knows my name, just like her._ This man was another of the "outsiders"; his rolling stomach was all the proof Zoro needed. _Move!_ he mentally screamed at himself. _You swore you wouldn't freeze up again!_ But it was hard, so much harder than he'd expected. Had he really thought he could fight them like this? And then the man's words sank in. _I can't let them get me!_ Zoro tried to force some strength back into his limbs. He had to get away. He'd figure out the rest later; right now, escape was all that mattered. _Move! Move, damn it!_

"Don't touch me!" He wrenched his arm from the man's grasp and leaped backward. This, he realized too late, left him with nothing under his feet but air.

He plummeted.

The man caught him again. Zoro's eyes went wide as the man's arm _stretched_ , lowering Zoro almost to the ground before it slowed. An image flashed in Zoro's mind. _It's going to—_ No time to wonder how he knew what was about to happen. Zoro whipped forward and sank his teeth into the man's hand. The man yelped and released him just before the arm snapped back up to the roof. Zoro didn't wait. He gathered his jelly-legs under him and ran.

The tiny alley led to a street that was much more crowded than the last one had been. A few minutes ago, Zoro would have avoided it. Now it felt like safety. The more people there were, the harder it would be for the rubber man to spot him.

"Hey, wait!" The rubber man was following from the rooftops. _He_ didn't have any trouble jumping from one building to the next, Zoro noted bitterly. "I said wait!"

"Stay away from me!" Mistake. He shouldn't be drawing attention to himself. He should keep quiet. Small. Use his size to his advantage. The rubber man could track him more easily from up there, but he'd be harder to catch from a distance, too. All he needed was a chance. He would _not_ be caught, not now, not by this man.

A rubber arm shot toward him again. Zoro veered sideways and plowed into a woman carrying a large bag of groceries. They went down hard in a tangle of limbs and falling fruit.

Zoro picked himself up from a puddle of broken eggs. "S-sorry," he gasped, bracing himself for more yelling.

To his surprise, she stepped in front of him, glaring up at the rubber man on the roof and completely ignoring the ruined food all over her. "Just what do you think you're doing, young man?"

"I need to see Little Zoro!" The rubber man sounded angry now. "It's important! Get out of the way!"

The woman glanced at Zoro. He'd expected anger, but she looked more sad than anything else. "Go on, dear," she told him. "I'll handle things here."

Zoro hesitated a moment, in spite of everything. Then reason reasserted itself and he took off, slipping a little in the egg puddle.

"Hey, wait!" The rubber man leaped off the roof, one arm stretching out for Zoro.

The woman smacked him with her dripping but still fairly full bag. "Don't be so cruel!" Zoro heard her shout as he fled through the crowd. "I don't care how close he was to you, you should know better than to try to see him!"

_I don't know him!_ He wracked his brain, but couldn't come up with a single memory. How could they have been close when he'd never seen the man before? And yet…

"Wait!" the rubber man shouted again. "Zoro!"

For a moment, Zoro's steps slowed.

_Again._ Something in his gut twisted. Just like with the fiery woman, there was a terrible attraction alongside the fear. He could still feel his skin prickling where the rubber man had grabbed him. His legs were still wobbly with terror. And yet some part of him wanted to turn back.

_I can't!_

Zoro sped up again. He _couldn't_ go back. He knew better. That man wasn't safe. The woman had probably just gotten it wrong. And even if she hadn't, "close" could mean lots of things. Maybe the outsiders were bad guys, and he'd stumbled into them and seen something he shouldn't have. And then they'd attacked him to shut him up!

It would explain everything: why he was so afraid, why they wanted to catch him so badly, why he couldn't remember anything. They would probably kill him if they caught him. They'd want to finish the job properly this time.

There were enough people between him and the rubber man now to block him from view. Zoro dashed into another street and nearly collided with a cart. He threw himself past it and tumbled out into a square _full_ of carts and booths, all selling things. He zig-zagged around people and bounced off market stalls, sending bags and packages tumbling in his wake.

_Slow down,_ he told himself. _You're leaving a trail a mile wide!_ But the part of him in charge of his legs was stuck on _run run run hide hide hide_ , completely immune to lesser things like logic.

The rubber man wasn't giving up. Zoro could still hear him shouting, and it sounded like he was getting closer. Zoro couldn't outrun him. _Hide, hide, I need a place to hide!_ His eyes lit on a bunch of crates piled in a corner. Most were still nailed shut, but several stood empty, their lids invitingly askew.

"Zoroooo!"

Zoro dived for one of the open crates. He landed in a mess of packing material and yanked the lid into place, then went still, trying to quiet his frantic panting.

"Oiiii, Little Zoro!" The rubber man's shout echoed around the market. "Where'd you go? Zoro!"

Zoro squeezed his eyes shut. The rubber man was definitely angry. _Just go away,_ please _._

More voices joined in: market sellers, getting angry right back at the rubber man for disrupting their business. All of them insisted Zoro wasn't there and they had no idea which way he had gone. That _had_ to be a lie—there was no way he hadn't been noticed after the chaos he'd caused—but the rubber man either bought it or didn't want to waste time arguing. Through a gap in the crate's boards, Zoro watched him storm through the market, still calling loudly but making an effort to move around people instead of plowing through.

As the rubber man drew closer to the stack of crates, Zoro held his breath and tried to calm down. If he was found, he'd have to run again. Yelling and panicking wouldn't help with that. Biting would be a better use of his mouth, if it came to that.

The rubber man passed by the crates with only a quick glance. Zoro let out a shallow breath, not daring to move while the man was still in the square. The next couple of minutes felt like hours, but finally the rubber man was out of sight and Zoro no longer felt like the slightest sound was a siren advertising his position.

Zoro slumped against the side of the crate, his muscles limp and shaky from the sudden release of tension. Moving felt impossible. He'd stay here a little longer. Until he was sure the rubber man wasn't going to come back. Until his legs would support him again. Hopefully the owner of the crate wouldn't mind. Just a little longer…

He snuggled down into the packing material. It really was quite comfortable. His eyelids drooped. Maybe he could just stay here until it was time to go find a ship. He had completely lost track of which way the docks were, but he could figure that out later. Worse case, he'd just head for the water, then walk along the shore until he found a boat.

The images of the rubber man and the fiery woman haunted him as he drifted toward sleep. They were dangerous. He knew that for sure. But were they the reason he couldn't remember anything? If so, they were enemies. But why would they do that? Why had the rubber man been so angry?

What had he done, to make them hunt him so relentlessly?

* * *

"I'm telling you, I saw him!"

"And lost him again," Sanji said. "Not to mention getting on half the town's bad side in the process."

"I couldn't help it! They were trying to keep me from talking to him!" He shouldn't be yelling at Sanji, he knew. But he was _frustrated_. He had been so close. Little Zoro had been _right there_ , and Luffy had let him get away. He hadn't even gotten any answers.

Little Zoro had been different than he'd expected. Oh, he'd looked exactly like a tiny Zoro, just as Nami had said. But even though she'd warned them, he hadn't been prepared for the way the kid had reacted. Zoro being angry at him wasn't anything new, but the fear had been jarring. Zoro would never look at him like that. But some random kid who only happened to have the same face as Zoro would have no reason to look at him like that, either.

He didn't understand, and trying to figure it out was making his head hurt.

Luffy was used to being confused, but this wasn't something he could shrug off as a mystery and let it explain itself, or not, in time. Because Zoro was _gone_ , and this strange kid was the only clue they had, and Luffy needed to find at least one of them _now_.

"Couldn't you have tracked him with haki?" Nami asked.

Luffy pouted. "This island is stupid," he said. "It's blocking me somehow, unless I'm real close."

"Same here," Sanji said.

Usopp nodded. "Y-yeah, me too."

Nami groaned and slumped over the table. "So much for the easy route."

"These people are definitely shady," Franky said. "They're all swearing up and down they haven't seen Zoro, but that's not the same as not knowing anything, and everybody's way too jumpy."

"I agree," Robin said. "And I think this may go deeper than just Zoro."

"Is this about the library again?" Usopp asked. "It's weird, sure, but I don't think a missing history section is really a priority right now!"

"You're right, of course," Robin said. "Finding Zoro is more important. Still, I can't help but feel there's a connection."

"I don't see how." Usopp folded his arms. "It's not like Zoro ran off with all their history books—it doesn't sound like they were there in the first place."

"We're getting off track," Nami said. "Okay, so no one in this town has seen Zoro. We've barely checked the forest or the other towns yet, so there's a chance he's out there somewhere. Little Zoro _is_ in town; where exactly is anyone's guess at this point. We've only got a few hours before dark. Do we try the forest, or go back into town and hope we get lucky?"

"Unknown forest, probably full of dangerous things that want to kill us, or town full of shifty people who definitely don't like us and may also want to kill us," Usopp muttered. "Is there a third option?"

"I think we should try the forest," Chopper said. "Everyone I talked to got really upset when I mentioned it, so if they're hiding something, that's probably a good place to look."

"Unless they got upset because they didn't want us to go there and get eaten!"

"Well according to you, they want to kill us," Nami said, "so if the forest was really dangerous, you'd think they'd be happy we wanted to go there."

"Let's split up again," Luffy said. He wished he could split himself, too. He would make so many copies of himself that he could search the whole island at once and find both Zoro and Little Zoro in time for dinner. "I'm…gonna go to the forest." Little Zoro might be in town, but Zoro didn't seem to be, and Zoro came first.

And maybe, after a few hours in the forest, the look on Little Zoro's face wouldn't stand out so clearly in his memories.

* * *

"It's nearly dark, Luffy," Nami said hesitantly. "I want to keep looking too, but—"

"I don't care!" Luffy shoved his way through a bush. "I'm not stopping until we find Zoro!"

"What if we pass a clue and don't even see it?" Chopper bit his lip. "This forest is so thick, we could be right on top of him and not notice."

"I would notice," Luffy insisted.

"Haki still not picking up anything?" Franky asked.

Luffy shook his head and kicked a tree in frustration. Whatever was interfering with his haki had only gotten stronger once they'd entered the forest. He could barely sense the friends who were standing right in front of him. Picking up Zoro's presence before he actually saw him was probably impossible—not that he'd stop trying.

His stomach rumbled.

"Luffy-san—" Brook began.

"No!" This part of the forest was too dense to run through, but Luffy did his best to speed up, kicking through bushes and smacking branches out of the way. He wouldn't give up. Even if it got dark. Even if he was hungry. Zoro had been missing for four days now, and that was too long, even for him.

"Luffy, wait!"

Luffy fought his way through another tangle of brambles. The others could go back if they wanted. He would search every inch of this place if he had to, until—

He pitched forward. Too late, he saw the sharp drop in ground the bushes had hidden from view. Yelping, Luffy rolled down the steep slope. Every plant he crashed through seemed to have either thorns or hard branches. Several might have been growing rocks. Where were all the plants with soft leaves and pretty flowers?

"Luffy! Are you okay?" Nami called down after he'd finally come to a stop.

"Ow…" Luffy sat up slowly, rubbing his head. "Yeah, I think so." He inspected himself. He had lots of scratches, and maybe a few bruises that would have been much worse if he hadn't been rubber, but nothing seemed broken. "I'm fine." He stood, feeling strangely angry. A simple fall shouldn't make him this angry, not when he hadn't been attacked and wasn't even seriously hurt. But it was almost night, and Zoro was _still_ missing, and this pricker-filled hollow was wasting his time. Luffy lined up his foot with a big, sturdy bush nearby and kicked it as hard as he could.

The bush clinked.

"Luffy? Do you need help?"

"Just a sec." Luffy plunged his arms into the bush, ignoring the thorns. It had been mostly uprooted by his kick, and he shoved it aside impatiently. His hands touched something soft. He seized it and tugged, surprised by how heavy it was. A few quiet ripping noises and it was free. Luffy held it up to the fading light, and his eyes widened. It was dirty and wrapped in a bundle, but he would know that green fabric anywhere.

"This…is Zoro's." He unwrapped it quickly. Inside Zoro's rolled-up coat were more clothes—his haramaki, boots, and sash—and three very familiar swords. They shook in Luffy's hands.

He bolted up. "Zoro!" Above him, bushes rustled as the others jumped at his sudden shout. Luffy stormed around the gully, flattening plant life as he looked for another sign of his missing friend. "Where are you? Zoro!"

"Luffy, he's not here!" Nami sounded near tears. "This isn't working, we should just—"

"His swords are here!" Luffy shouted back angrily.

"…What?"

"His swords are here. His clothes, too. He has to be here!" But if he was, why could Luffy still not sense anything? Even all the way down here, he could still pick up Nami and the others if he really tried, but there was nothing at all from Zoro.

"Someone stripped him? Why?" Franky sounded baffled. "I can get taking his swords, but—"

"I don't know why!" Luffy roared. "Just get down here and help me look!"

But even with five of them searching, after an hour they had combed every inch of the gully and discovered nothing more. Even the plants seemed untouched, aside from what they themselves had disturbed.

"If he'd been attacked out here, there would have been some sign," Nami said. "His things must have been brought here afterward."

"It seems likely that whatever happened did take place in the forest, however," Brook said.

"Or at least not in the town we docked at, unless he really was involved in that fire," Nami said. "It's a big island, though, and I wouldn't put it past Zoro to find his way to one of the other towns."

"Probably one of the closer ones, though, since somebody dumped his stuff here instead of the other side of the forest," Franky said.

"We should check there tomorrow," Nami said. "And maybe come back here, too. For now, though—"

The den den mushi Nami was carrying began to ring.

" _Nami?"_ Robin's voice filled the night air. _"Is everyone there with you?"_

"Yes," Nami said. "We're still in the forest. We would have been on our way back by now, but we found something."

" _Zoro?"_ Robin asked sharply.

"No. But we found his swords and most of his clothes. It looks like someone ditched them out here deliberately."

" _His clothes?"_

"Yeah," Franky said. "It's weird."

" _But no sign of Zoro himself?"_

"Nothing."

" _Come back to Sunny,"_ Robin said. _"I found something, too."_

Luffy snatched the snail from Nami's hands. "What? Did you find Zoro?"

" _We have a guest. Little Zoro paid a visit to the docks tonight."_

* * *

There were so many boats.

The problem, Zoro thought, was that he needed a _ship_ —something that could handle the open sea. These were mostly small fishing boats, not meant for anything more adventurous than the relatively calm waters around the island. Hardly any even had sails. He needed to get off the island, but he didn't want to die, and something told him that setting out in a rowboat wouldn't lead to anything good.

And then he saw it.

It was big. Much too big for Zoro to handle himself, but the moment he saw it, it felt like home, and the thought of leaving it behind without even taking a look was unbearable. He crept forward slowly. There were lights on the ship, and the last thing he wanted was to meet someone. Just a quick look, and then he'd go back to finding a ship he could actually use.

It looked bright and cheerful, even in the dark. The sort of place that was constantly full of laughter and stories and friends and food. Zoro's stomach rumbled at that last thought, and his throat grew tight. Why couldn't he have a place like that? Boran might have given him one, eventually, but there was no chance of that now. The outsiders had taken it away. Thanks to them, no place on the island was safe. If he did find a ship and made it somewhere else, would he be able to find a new place to belong? Or would they follow him even then? Would he be running for the rest of his life?

_Not forever,_ he promised himself. _I'm going to be the world's greatest swordsman someday. I'll be so strong I won't lose to anyone. Then I'll_ make _them leave me alone._ He wiped away the tears threatening to fall, and decided not to try actually going on board the big ship. He was wasting time. Back to the hunt. Hopefully whichever ship he took would have food on it. The breakfast at Boran's had been a long time ago.

"It's a nice night for a walk, isn't it?"

Zoro nearly leapt out of his skin. He whirled, but saw no one. Quickly, he looked up, down, left, right, then whipped back to the direction he'd originally been facing. Nothing.

"Don't be scared." The voice was slick and oily, dripping with malice, the voice of a snake slithering up to crush the life from him and swallow him whole—

[No, it was soft and warm and faintly amused, with an undercurrent of concern—]

It was a woman's voice, and in spite of her words Zoro felt an electric thrill run up his spine. He didn't need to see her face to know she was one of the outsiders. Again, _again_ , they had found him. How? Why? He wasn't going to stick around to find out. The wooden boards of the dock thudded under his feet as he pelted forward—

Arms grabbed him, and he fell.

He hadn't seen her. Where had she come from? He kicked out. He still couldn't see a body, but he could feel her arms around him. They were everywhere, slithering around him like burning chains, more arms than any one person should have had, and they were _touching him_ and she wouldn't _let go_ and he screamed and kicked and bit but she _wouldn't let go_ —

"It's all right," he thought he heard her say.

_Lies!_

He struggled with all his might, but she was a grown-up and he was just a child, and his two small arms couldn't fight off all of hers. In seconds, he was lying helpless on the ground, her arms wrapped around every part of him. They weren't normal arms, they couldn't be. There were too many, and normal arms wouldn't make him feel like this. Normal arms wouldn't make his skin crawl and his stomach twist and his breaths come so fast he was dizzy.

_Let go,_ he begged her silently. He wasn't sure he could have spoken the words aloud, even if she hadn't covered his mouth.

Finally, she showed herself. It hurt to look at her. She was just as beautiful as the fiery woman, and just as terrifying, and the smile she offered chilled him to the bone.

"Why don't we go inside?" she suggested. "We'd like to talk to you."

As she carried him onto the brightly-lit ship that felt like home—of course it was _their_ ship, such an obvious trap, but he'd fallen for it—the part of Zoro's mind that wasn't overloading with panic wondered if he'd ever leave it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robin, I know we all want Zoro to get a hug, but that may be a bit excessive… ^^;
> 
> This chapter was so much fun to work on. :D Unfortunately the next chapter has another missing scene I need to write, so it'll be a bit of a longer wait again. I'll do what I can to get it done quickly!


	5. Negotiations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me longer than I thought it would to fill in that missing scene with something readable, but here is chapter five, finally! There are a few moments in here I've been very much looking forward to posting. ^_^ Thanks so much to everyone who left kudos or commented!

**Day 4**

The trip back to Sunny went much faster once they were out of the densest part of the forest, but to Luffy every minute felt like hours. He started running as soon as there was enough room, and in spite of Nami's pleas to stick together, he was well ahead of the others by the time he got to the docks. As soon as he saw Sunny, he stretched his arm out, grabbed her rail, and shot himself aboard.

He'd aimed at the galley, since no one was outside and that seemed the next most likely place for everyone to be. He was right, too, because the door opened just after he took off, and instead of bouncing off it, Luffy crashed into Usopp. Usopp stopped screaming once he saw it was Luffy, but that only made it easier to hear the thumps and muffled yelling coming from inside the room.

"I'm getting rope." Usopp's eyes flicked nervously between Luffy and the open door. "We decided we needed something else to tie him up with before Sanji kills him for biting Robin."

In spite of how serious everything was, Luffy had to laugh. It was such a _Zoro_ thing to do. And the more this kid and Zoro had in common, the more likely it was the kid would be able to help them find Zoro. Things were looking up.

"He bit me, too." Luffy bounced to his feet, then pulled Usopp up. "It really hurt!"

"Why do you sound _happy_ about it?" Usopp didn't wait for an answer, just brushed himself off and hurried down the stairs. Luffy laughed again.

His smile lasted until he stepped inside and met a pair of furious, terrified eyes from across the room.

For just a moment, he forgot. He forgot where he was, forgot this wasn't the Zoro he knew, forgot it was Robin's arms holding the boy captive, and why they'd caught him in the first place. For a moment, all Luffy could see was Zoro.

Zoro, captured. Zoro, in trouble. Zoro, eyes full of a desperate panic that had no place on that face. Zoro, in need of help.

Luffy moved, with only one thought: make whatever had put that look on his friend's face _go away_.

* * *

As Luffy shot into the room, Little Zoro bucked in the chair, wild noises escaping the cloth over his mouth. He was strong; even wrapped from nose to toes in her arms as he was, Robin strained to hold him down. A face wasn't the only thing this boy had in common with Zoro.

If they were, in fact, different people at all. She was beginning to have doubts.

Little Zoro's reaction had snapped Luffy out of whatever momentary rage had overtaken him. Robin watched as his expression flitted from anger, to confusion, to realization, to a lost look that didn't suit him at all, before settling on a bright, cheerful smile that couldn't be entirely genuine under the circumstances.

"Hi!" Luffy bent down to meet Little Zoro's eyes. "It's okay, you don't have to be scared."

Little Zoro twisted in her arms, recoiling from Luffy as if he'd just crawled from the bowels of the world's dirtiest sewer. He yelled and heaved with all his might, but she held fast, and after a minute he slumped, shuddering, and the room was quiet except for the sound of quick, frantic gasps for air.

"He's been like this since Robin-chan brought him in," Sanji said. "He fights until he's on the verge of passing out, then sits there panting until he's recovered enough to try again."

The smile had melted from Luffy's face like ice in a volcano. He bit his lip. Robin knew he didn't like seeing a familiar face in such distress, but they couldn't let the boy go. Whether he really was Zoro or just some sort of copy, he was their only lead to finding out what had happened. They needed him. Robin would do anything to keep her friends safe, and she knew Luffy felt the same.

"Why?" Luffy asked quietly. Then louder, taking another step toward the shaking boy, "Why are you so scared of us? We haven't done anything to you!"

The only response was a whine and continued gasping.

Nami and the others arrived then, panting nearly as hard as Little Zoro. He flinched when he saw them, screwing his eyes shut and turning his head away.

"Damn, you were right, he's like a mini-copy," Franky said after getting his first good look.

"It's definitely not a coincidence," Robin told them. She tightened her grip. Little Zoro wasn't going to like this. "Come here. There's something you should all see."

She sprouted another two arms and cupped Little Zoro's head, tilting it toward the others as they crowded around the chair. He fought her, but his strength hadn't returned yet, and she forced the left side of his face into the light. He settled for glaring at them, another growling whine bubbling out from behind his makeshift gag.

"Look at his eye—and the skin around it."

They saw it immediately, she could tell. After spending so much time with Zoro, it was obvious. Little Zoro's glare was indisputable proof that his eye was undamaged and functional, which would have been a point in favor of him _not_ being their Zoro, except…a faint silver line ran down the side of Little Zoro's face, exactly where the real Zoro's scar would be.

Luffy reached out and touched the mark. Robin had done so herself, earlier—the line was as baby-soft and smooth as the skin around it, indistinguishable by touch and not at all the way a scar should feel.

Little Zoro jerked and tried to pull away, yelling something that was swallowed by the cloth over his mouth.

"There's more," Robin said quietly. Carefully, her arms rearranged themselves to keep a tight hold on Little Zoro while allowing access to his chest. She lifted the boy's shirt with one hand, revealing another smooth silver line, cutting across the small torso on a path familiar to all of them. It wasn't really necessary to show them his ankles by that point, but no sense leaving things half-done.

"This…this can't be a coincidence," Nami said. "It _can't_ be. But what _happened_? Is this another Thriller Bark, only instead of zombies, they make kids out of whatever they take from us? Is Zoro hurt or locked up somewhere, or…or is he…?" She looked at Little Zoro.

"We've seen markings like these before," Robin reminded them. "Whatever is going on, it's affecting the islanders, too."

"That's right." Nami's eyes widened. "I thought they might have been birthmarks or something, then when so many people had them I figured they had to be some kind of tattoo, but they were just like this, weren't they?"

"Scars that aren't scars," Brook murmured.

"At least not anymore," Robin said.

"You think this is really him?" Franky asked.

"It's too soon to be certain, but—"

The door banged open again and Usopp entered with a long coil of rope over one arm. "Got it!" he gasped.

"Took you long enough," Sanji said. "Hurry, Robin-chan must be getting tired."

Robin didn't correct him. She was far from at her limit, but she had to admit a break would be nice.

"R-right." Usopp hurried forward. Little Zoro cringed away from him, and Usopp cringed back, like it was a strange new greeting they'd discovered. He looped the rope around Little Zoro's shaking form at arm's length, and Robin loosened her arms a fraction to give him room to work.

Little Zoro jerked and twisted sideways. The hand over his mouth slipped, and fast as a striking snake, he bit down on the nearest arm. He had all the jaw strength Robin would expect from a Zoro of his size, and even as used to pain as she was, it _hurt_. She couldn't hold back a cry, and her arms pulled away in reflex. Usopp jumped and lost his grip on the rope, and Little Zoro slipped through his restraints like he was coated in butter. In the blink of an eye, he had dived under the table and shot out the other side, making for the door.

"No!" Luffy shot an arm out. "I'm not losing you again!"

Little Zoro ducked and swung sideways, skidding around the corner into the kitchen. Sanji lunged after him, but by the time he made the turn Little Zoro was whirling away from a drawer, holding three of Sanji's longest, sharpest knives.

"Shit." Sanji froze. "How the fuck did he know…?"

The fear in Little Zoro's eyes hardened into determination as he raised one of the knives to his mouth and bit down. The other two were raised defiantly in tiny fists that only shook a little.

They could have recaptured him easily. The knives wouldn't be a problem for Robin as long as she was careful where she grew her arms. Luffy and Sanji could prevent any damage with haki, and Brook didn't have much to fear from stabs or slashes in general. Little Zoro looked to be seven, eight at most. All of them had the advantage of height—if Chopper transformed—and weight—except Brook, possibly—over him. Armed or not, this boy was little threat to them.

And yet no one moved. Because a seven-year-old shouldn't be giving off a killing aura like that. His eyes shouldn't be assessing threats and escape routes like he'd done it a hundred times before. His brow shouldn't be furrowed in such a familiar way.

"…Zoro?" There was caution in Luffy's voice, but no doubt. One of the earliest lessons a person learned in the Grand Line was that nothing was impossible. They might not know yet _how_ this had happened, but continuing to resist the truth that was staring them in the face would only waste time. This was no lookalike. This was Zoro.

Zoro's eyes—and seeing him with two working eyes again was almost as strange as seeing him as a child—snapped to Luffy. "How do you know my name?" The words were loud, angry—but volume alone couldn't hide the quaver in his voice.

"Zoro!" Luffy's voice was louder than it needed to be, bouncing painfully off the walls, and Zoro flinched so hard he nearly dropped the knives. "What happened? What's gotten into you?"

A quiet growl was Zoro's only answer as he backed away, glaring.

_Something's wrong,_ Robin thought. _Something besides the changes to his body._

Luffy's frown deepened. "Don't you remember us?" he demanded.

"I don't know you," Zoro spat around the knife. "Don't come near me!" His back was nearly to the fridge now, and his eyes darted across the bar, judging distance.

_He's going to try to make a break for it._

Robin made her move. Her hands wrapped around his legs, his arms were pinned to his sides by hers, and gently but firmly, she pried the knives from his hands. It took less than five seconds.

"No!" Zoro swung his head, trying to catch her with the blade in his mouth.

If she tried to take the last knife by force, one or both of them might be hurt. "I'm sorry, Zoro-kun," Robin said, "but you leave me no choice." She sprouted a new pair of hands and ghosted the fingers along Zoro's sides.

Zoro's mouth opened in a breath of shocked laughter, and the knife tumbled free. Robin caught it and handed off all three to Sanji. Zoro lunged after them, wriggling like an eel in her grip. He overbalanced and crashed to the floor, his teeth slamming together with a loud clack.

"It's all right," Robin told him. "We won't hurt you." She squeezed him gently, as much of a hug as she could give while keeping him restrained.

Zoro howled like her arms were covered in needles. "No! Let go, stop, stop, _stop_ …" All the fierceness he'd displayed while wielding the knives had bled away. He thrashed on the floor like a fresh-caught fish, close to tears.

"Oi." Sanji tried to sound gruff, but they could all hear the buried concern. "It's Robin-chan. She's not hurting you. Just relax and stop being so dramatic."

" _Stop_." The thrashing subsided into violent shaking, but Zoro didn't seem any calmer. His breaths were coming so fast there was hardly any room for words. The arms wrapped around his shoulders were damp; whether from tears, sweat, or saliva, Robin couldn't say. "Stop. Stop touching, stop, I can't, I can't, _please_ …"

Something clicked in Robin's mind. Experimentally, she tightened her grip again.

Zoro moaned. "No, s-stop it, _stop_ …"

"It hurts when I touch you?" she asked. "Would one of the others be better?"

" _No_!" Zoro's eyes were wide and rolling, trying to take in all of them at once. "S-stay away, stay away, _stay away_!"

Robin looked at Luffy, then the rest of the crew. Everyone's faces reflected the same emotions: concern, confusion, distress…and anger. Someone or something had done this to Zoro. They needed to find out what had happened. They needed to fix it. But for now…

"Let him go," Luffy said quietly.

For now, they needed to do what they could to make their friend comfortable.

* * *

Even after Robin's arms disappeared, Zoro just lay there on the floor, shuddering, his eyes screwed shut. Luffy shuffled back to give him more space, and the rest of the crew went with him. They kept the exits covered, though. Letting Zoro escape wasn't an option, especially now that they knew it really _was_ Zoro. This close, Luffy could feel him with haki, and while his aura was a bit…twisted was the best word he could think of, it was much too familiar to be anyone but Zoro.

Zoro's limbs jerked. His head lifted. He scrabbled backward across the floor until he hit the fridge door, then slid along it, pressing himself into the corner as far away from them as he could get.

Something in Luffy's chest hurt. This was wrong, wrong, wrong. He'd been afraid _for_ his friends before, and he knew there had probably been times when they'd been afraid for him. But none of them had ever been afraid _of_ him, not once they'd decided to call each other friends. And even before that, even when Chopper thought Luffy wanted to eat him, even when Franky had been an enemy, it had never been like this.

They watched each other as Zoro's breathing gradually slowed down. Zoro's legs were tucked up against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. His eyes darted to each of them in turn, over and over again, so fast it was dizzying. He wasn't relaxed, but at least he wasn't screaming or sobbing anymore.

Luffy wasn't sure what to do next. He badly wanted to kick the ass of whoever was responsible for this, but watching him beat someone up wasn't likely to make Zoro feel better. Hugs were probably a bad idea, too. Maybe food? Food was always good. But Sanji would have to go into the kitchen to make it. That would probably get Zoro upset again. This was hard.

Fortunately, Luffy's friends had always been good at covering the things he needed help with.

"Are you feeling better?" Robin asked.

Zoro flinched and looked away, but after a second, he nodded.

"You don't like being touched?"

Wary eyes flicked up to her, and Zoro's mouth opened—then closed again.

"We're trying to understand," she told him. "We want to help you—"

"Then leave me alone!" The shout was high and piercing, so different from that familiar deep voice, but the glare leveled at them was all Zoro. "It doesn't feel bad when you aren't there!"

"It hurts?" Chopper looked like he was about to cry. "When we touch you? Why?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything!" Zoro shook his head wildly, curling in on himself.

"Then why don't we see if we can find answers together, Zoro-san?" Brook suggested gently.

"Why?" Zoro had gone back to scanning the room restlessly, his eyes doing the running his body currently couldn't. "Why do you want me so much? How do you know my name? W-why can't you just let me go?"

"Because we need your help," Nami said. "We arrived on this island four days ago, and later that same day, our friend went missing."

Zoro's brows knitted. "…I didn't do anything."

"We're not saying you did!" Nami looked at the rest of them, chewing her lip, then nodded. "But we'd like your help figuring out what happened. He looks a lot like you, you know. You could be his little brother."

What? Zoro was Zoro, not Zoro's brother. Nami _knew_ that, she had to, so why—

He jumped as Robin placed a hand on his back. "Let's not overwhelm him," Robin whispered. "There will be time later to explain the truth."

"Y-yeah, you could totally be twins if you were older," Usopp said, a little too loudly.

Zoro's brows knitted and he raised a hand to his face. "I-I don't…" He bit his lip, the hand dropping back to his knees.

Luffy pointed at the shiny door of the fridge. "You can see in that!" Because somehow he knew Zoro meant he didn't know what he looked like.

Zoro shifted toward the fridge, but before he'd turned enough to see himself properly, he shook his head and refocused on Luffy and the others. "Don't need it."

"That's all right!" Nami sounded a little too cheery, like she did before she punched someone who'd just done something stupid. Luffy hoped she wasn't going to punch Zoro. That definitely wouldn't help. "You don't have to look if you don't want to. What we really want to know is if you know anything that might help us."

"Why would I? I don't know any pirates."

"You don't remember anything at all?"

"I said I don't!" Zoro leaped to his feet, though he made no move to leave the corner.

"Then for now, why don't you tell us a little more about yourself?" Robin suggested. "But first, I'd like to apologize. We didn't know our touch would cause you pain. We never wanted that. I would have found another way to hold you if I'd known."

Zoro glared. "But you won't let me go."

"I'm afraid not."

"Even though I don't know anything."

"I'm sorry."

Zoro looked away, fingers digging into his arms. "Doesn't _hurt_ ," he mumbled after a long pause. "Feels bad. Like burning. Like—like something's crawling around inside me, _digging_ and _twisting_ and—and…" He took a choking, shuddering breath.

"That…kinda sounds painful to me," Usopp said.

Zoro shrugged.

"We can't let you go," Luffy said. "Not yet." _Not until you're back to normal._ "But we'll try not to touch you."

That felt wrong, too. His crew had never kept their distance from each other. Casual brawls, excited hugs, relaxed nap piles—that was their normal, and the thought of cutting Zoro out of it was painful. But if that was what Zoro needed for now, they would give it to him.

"You don't run away, and we don't touch you. Okay?"

Zoro's mouth worked. His eyes flicked to the door, judging his chance of escape one last time. His shoulders slumped. "Okay." Then he tensed, scowling at Luffy. "Only until you find your friend. Then you let me go, and you _stay away from me_."

"After we have our friend back," Luffy said, because he _wasn't_ an idiot, even if Nami sometimes called him one. They'd found Zoro already. But he was still lost, maybe more than he'd ever been, and until he found his way home, they needed to keep him close.

He wished Zoro knew he was Zoro. Even if he was still little, things would be better if Zoro knew they were friends. Maybe they could do something to help him remember.

* * *

"After we have our friend back."

"Whatever," Zoro mumbled. What was the difference? But as long as they kept their promise and let him go afterward, they could call it what they liked.

The part of him that felt sick and twisty and swoopy screamed not to trust them, to run for the door and escape, however impossible it seemed. But he'd already tried that. He wouldn't make it, not against all of them. And then they would touch him again, and maybe they would never let him go, even if they did find their friend. If they were the kind of people who made empty promises, then he was doomed either way. Playing along for now gave him a chance, at least. It would be hard to do, but he would just think of it as training. Yes. He would use this to become stronger.

A loud growl filled the silence, and Zoro flushed. He'd forgotten all about food in the terror and stress of being captured. How he could be hungry when at least half of him wanted to throw up, he didn't know.

A second gurgle joined his, and Zoro met the eyes of the rubber man, who grinned. "Good, you're hungry, too! Sanji, food!"

"Right, right." The blond man took a step forward, then hesitated. "Uh…kid? I'm going to need to get in the kitchen to cook, so you might want to clear out."

Apparently Zoro had managed to relax a bit after all, because a surprising number of muscles tensed at the words. He didn't want to be in the kitchen with the man. But the only place to go was out into the bigger room with all the others. He couldn't. He _couldn't_ —

"Why don't you sit on the couch?" The woman with too many arms pointed to the far corner of the room. "I'm sure it's more comfortable than the kitchen floor."

The outsiders all backed away, leaving Zoro a clear path. He swallowed. He couldn't even see the couch over the kitchen counter, and that corner looked miles away. _It's a trap!_ The twisty part of him insisted. It didn't matter that the outsiders clearly didn't need any tricks, that the arm-woman alone could easily overpower him. It didn't matter that they had agreed not to touch him. Crossing that floor still felt like willingly throwing himself into a volcano.

Taking his first step away from the fridge was harder than lifting a boulder, but he'd lifted boulders before, during his training at the dojo. He could do this, too. His foot refused to leave the ground, so he slid it out, inched his weight forward, and dragged his other foot up to join the first. He took a second shuffling step. A third. A fourth. The rubber man fidgeted, and it was all Zoro could do to keep from running back the way he'd come. But they wanted him out of the kitchen. Going back would make them angrier. He took another step.

When he reached the edge of the kitchen's tiled floor, he gathered himself, then sprinted across the room and threw himself onto the couch. It _was_ more comfortable than the floor, even when he shoved himself hard against the back of it.

"Well done," Arm-woman said.

_I'm not a baby!_ Zoro wanted to shout. But he was shaking like a leaf just from crossing a room; no wonder she was talking to him like he was little enough for it to be a big victory.

The blond man went into the kitchen, and the rest of the outsiders found seats. No one sat on the side of the table closest to Zoro. That was good. They were all looking at him, though. That was less good. And he hadn't missed the clunk of the doors being locked.

Arm-woman smiled at him. "May we ask you some more questions while we wait?"

Zoro shrugged. It wasn't like he could stop them.

"Do you know where you were three days ago? Or four?"

Three or four days ago. That had been before the alley. "What does that have to do with finding your friend?"

"As we said, he went missing four days ago. It's possible you saw something that might help."

_Anyone could have seen something. Why do they think_ I _might know more than someone else? Just because I look like him?_

"Don't remember," Zoro mumbled. It felt too much like revealing a weakness to an enemy, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to lie.

The outsiders exchanged a look.

"What _do_ you remember?" asked the skeleton. In spite of his spooky appearance, Zoro found the skeleton's attention easier to bear than the rubber man's or the arm-woman's. Maybe because he didn't have eyes to stare with.

Zoro swallowed, trying to work some moisture into his mouth. "Running." He pointed at the fiery woman. Then her. And after."

"What about before that?" Arm-woman prompted.

Zoro shook his head, gripping his knees tighter.

"Nothing?" the little furry thing asked.

"Just…pieces," he mumbled. He hoped they weren't going to ask for details. He didn't want to tell them about the dojo or the promise-girl.

"But not us?" The rubber man wasn't smiling anymore.

Zoro frowned. "Why would I remember you?"

A nasty thought was forming in his head, because they had never said their missing friend was a grown-up like them. But it couldn't be, it just _couldn't_. Why would he willingly spend time with people who made his skin crawl and his stomach twist in horror?

_That's not_ all _they make you feel,_ said the little voice in the back of his head.

He told the voice to shut up.

"Because you're Zoro." The rubber man said it as if it needed the same amount of explanation as water being wet, or fire being hot.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Yelling at the rubber man felt good. It gave him a place to put all the fear and panic he couldn't use to run away. "My name doesn't mean I know anything about your friend! I don't even know who _you_ are!"

The rubber man's mouth snapped shut, and the sizzle of a pan in the kitchen sounded as loud as a swarm of bees in the sudden silence.

"Ah, that's true," the skeleton said. "I suppose we did forget to introduce ourselves."

"I don't care," Zoro said, which wasn't true at all. He _did_ want to know their names, because thinking of them as "arm-woman" and "rubber man" and "skeleton" was starting to get annoying. He _didn't_ want to know their names, because he didn't want to be friends with them, and it would be so much easier to keep his distance if they were just "the outsiders".

He wasn't sure which side cared the most, but whatever he was feeling, it wasn't indifference.

"My name is Brook," the skeleton told him.

"I'm Chopper!" piped up the little furry thing. It was the only one of the outsiders who was smaller than Zoro. Its size should have made him feel safer, but it was nearly as terrifying as the rubber man. Its eyes were huge and round, its coat thick and soft-looking. Cute but deadly, like a mouse with venomous fangs, ready to strike at any moment—

[No, Chopper _could_ be dangerous, but not to him, never to him, Chopper was cute and soft and perfect to nap with—]

"Robin," said Arm-woman.

"Franky," the biggest one said, grinning. He looked like he was mostly made of metal, which was both terrifying and kind of cool.

_Stop it, stop it! They aren't cool! You can't think of them like that. You can't let your guard down. That's how you die._

"Nami." The fiery woman gave him a small wave. Zoro found another inch of space to shove himself backward.

The one with the long nose gulped. "H-hi, I'm U-Usopp."

Zoro scowled. What right did he have to sound so scared? _He_ wasn't a prisoner. _And_ he had a roomful of friends to back him up if Zoro tried anything.

"Sanji's the one making it smell so good in here." Nami gestured at the kitchen.

It did smell good. Grilled meat for sure, layered with other things that Zoro couldn't identify but very much wanted to taste. His stomach gave another loud growl.

Everyone had turned to look at the rubber man. "It's your turn," Nami prompted.

The rubber man was chewing his lip. "I don't want to."

"Don't be difficult! Just—"

"It's Zoro! I'm not going to introduce myself like we're strangers! I refuse!"

"I know how you feel, but—"

The rubber man rounded on Zoro. "You know my name! Say it!"

Zoro shrank back. "I d-don't!"

"Say it!"

Zoro clapped his hands over his ears. "Sh-shut up!"

"Luffy, maybe—"

"Zoro, c'mon! You gotta remem—"

"Shut up! I don't know you! I don't—I d-don't—I—I—" He couldn't breathe. Where had the air gone? He couldn't—he had to—where was the air?

He didn't remember closing his eyes, but he couldn't see anything, either. It was too dark. It was too bright. Above all, it was too _loud_. Voices, shouting—at each other? At him? He didn't know, couldn't care.

Something crashed. _Attack! They're coming for me!_ Zoro threw himself backward. The world tilted, and he fell hard. He gasped. Coughed. Managed to suck in a trickle of air.

He couldn't hear anything now except his own sobs and wheezing and the pounding of his heart. Had the shouting stopped, or was something wrong with his ears now, too? How long had he been lying here? A minute? An hour? Maybe days. He didn't know. He dragged in another too-small gasp of air.

"That's right, breathe."

_What do you think I'm_ trying _to do?_ he wanted to howl. But he didn't have enough air for that.

"We're sorry for shouting. That must have been hard for you."

For all its gentleness, the voice grated on his ears. It was still one of _their_ voices, still stirred up that sick, twisty wrongness in his stomach. He coughed and sucked in another breath.

"Good. Just focus on breathing, okay? It's all right. No one's mad at you."

He wasn't sure he believed that. They hadn't been shouting until he'd done something wrong, until he hadn't been able to do what they'd wanted.

Another ragged breath. It was probably a good thing he hadn't eaten yet. The sour taste in his mouth told him that if there had been anything in his stomach, it wouldn't be there anymore.

The voice kept talking as his body slowly remembered how to breathe. The words and tone were warm and encouraging, but Zoro wanted to tell them to stop. He didn't want to hear them, didn't want to see them, wanted to forget they were there, if only for a few minutes. At least it wasn't the rubber man talking.

Zoro's breathing was almost back to normal when he heard the footsteps. They rapped a steady beat on the floor, confident and unhurried, and _they were coming toward him_. Breath hitching, Zoro coiled himself tight against the side of the couch and waited.

"I'm telling you now that if you make me spill this, you'll be eating it off the floor." The voice of the cook—Sanji. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you to take it from me directly or anything."

The footsteps stopped. Something clinked, then the footsteps retreated again. A delicious smell wafted toward Zoro, overpowering the sour taste in his mouth and stirring up faint flickers of hunger.

"Eat it," Sanji said. "Food'll help settle you after that mess."

"You sure?" another voice asked doubtfully. "If it were me, I think it'd just come right back up again."

Zoro recognized the quaver. Usopp, his mind supplied, and he hated how easy it was to pull up the name.

"It'll help," Sanji insisted.

Zoro inched his head over the side of the couch. A bowl of food rested on the cushions, too far away to grab without climbing back to where he'd been sitting before. Some sort of pasta. It looked cheerful, festive, with bright chunks of vegetables and slices of grilled meat, all of it shiny with sauce. Zoro whimpered a little as his stomach let out a fierce growl. It looked so good. And all he had to do to get it was climb back up. He could manage that, couldn't he, even if his arms and legs felt like jelly and all the outsiders were staring at him?

Not taking his eyes off the outsiders, Zoro slowly pushed himself up, hooked a leg over the side of the couch, and heaved himself onto it. He was ready to leap back to his corner at a moment's notice, but aside from the rubber man fidgeting in his seat, none of the outsiders moved.

Zoro snatched up the bowl. He dug into the creamy noodles, spearing a piece of meat along the way, and stuck the entire overloaded forkful in his mouth at once.

His first coherent thought was that maybe being captured wasn't going to be as bad as he'd thought. Food this good might be worth being around monsters, as long as he could keep it down.

The pasta disappeared faster than he was aware of eating it, and the cook was right; he did feel a little better afterward. It was like he'd been an empty bottle, so light that the smallest breeze would blow him away, but the food had given him weight, filled him up enough that he wouldn't tip over. He didn't feel normal, didn't think he _could_ as long as the outsiders were near him, but he felt better.

When the bowl was empty, Zoro spent some time scraping the bottom with his fork. Was he that desperate not to waste even a crumb of food, or was he just taking any excuse to delay talking to the outsiders for as long as possible? He didn't know. Maybe it was both.

"Zoro?"

The fork slipped from his hand, ringing like a bell as it clattered onto the floor. He only just managed to keep the bowl from following. Shoulders hunched, Zoro set the bowl beside him, then dragged his gaze up to look at the table.

The fiery woman ( _Nami_ , that unwanted voice reminded him) was facing him, one hand planted on top of the rubber man's head.

"Zoro, this is Luffy." She pushed down, hard, and the rubber man slammed face-first into the table in an awkward bow. "And he's _very_ sorry for upsetting you."

"Fhrree," echoed a squashed-sounding voice from the table.

What was he supposed to say to that? He didn't feel like forgiving them just yet, any of them. Maybe they hadn't meant to do it, maybe Luffy really was sorry, but they were still making him stay with them and asking him to do things he couldn't do and Zoro was too tired to talk to them anymore. He managed a small shrug. They could take it however they wanted.

"It's not just touching that bothers you, is it?" Robin asked.

Zoro shrugged again—or at least, he'd meant to. His shoulders went up easily enough, almost to his ears, but they refused to come down again. He was hugging himself again, too, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take his eyes off the floor. He didn't want to see what looks were on the outsiders' faces. He didn't want to see the glances they had to be trading during the long silence that followed.

Finally, there was a cough. "How about a change of pace?" Brook suggested.

Great, now he was recognizing them just by their voices.

"I think a bath might help you relax, Zoro-san," Brook said.

"Oh, that's a good idea," Nami said. "I know a bath always helps me when I'm stressed. And it would give you a chance to clean up a little."

And suddenly, Zoro had the strength to look up at them again. "It's your fault I got dirty in the first place!"

"Well then, that's even more reason we should help you get clean!"

"I'm big enough to clean myself!"

Nami waved her hands hurriedly. "Th-that's not what I meant!"

Well, at least now they might be too embarrassed to come in with him, and he could get some time alone. "Fine, whatever. I'll go."

"Um, guys?" Usopp looked like he _really_ didn't want to say whatever he was about to say. "Maybe we should skip the bath, at least for tonight? 'Cause, um, if we take him to the bathhouse, we'll have to go outside, and, well…"

"I said I wouldn't run!" For all that he didn't trust them, hearing they didn't trust him either, that they thought he'd just break a promise the first chance he got, was a new kind of pain he hadn't expected to hurt quite this much. Besides, even if he tried… "You'd just catch me anyway."

"S-sorry, I'm sorry!" Now Usopp was the one waving his hands around, hard enough that it looked like he was trying to shake them off. "I didn't mean—I just…"

"It's all right," Robin said. "We know you're not going to run. We're all just a bit tired, that's all. Let's get you that bath now. Then we might have time for a hot drink before bed."

* * *

Zoro peered into the cup. "Why does it have rice in it?"

"Just try it," Sanji said.

Zoro took a cautious sip. His eyes widened.

"Good? Not too sweet for you, is it?"

"…It's okay." He was lying through his teeth. The drink— _amazake_ , Sanji had called it—was delicious. Sweet, but in a light, refreshing way, not cloying and sugary. Sanji had had it waiting when Zoro finished his bath, gently warmed and spiked with ginger.

They'd brought him clean clothes, too: one of Chopper's biggest shirts, which he'd just managed to fit into, and Luffy's smallest pair of shorts, which were long enough to be pants on him and had needed to be tied with rope at his waist to stay up. Still, they worked, and the outsiders could have just left him to rinse out his old clothes and put them back on. They hadn't even needed to let him take a bath in the first place. Zoro didn't know what to think. The outsiders—the Straw Hats—weren't acting like monsters or bad people. If the awful, gut-twisting feelings they caused him would just go away, he might even start liking them.

No. He couldn't let his guard down. They were pirates, after all, and he wouldn't be feeling like this for no reason. And how had Sanji even known he didn't like sweet things?

"Why does it have to be me?" he asked. "Who cares if I look like him if I don't know anything?"

The Straw Hats exchanged glances.

"Stop doing that!" They all looked at him, and Zoro shrank back into the couch, even as he gathered the scraps of his anger to force more words out. "I'm not stupid, I know you're hiding something. You keep _looking_ at each other like you think I can't see, but I do!"

"No!" Nami said. "No, it's not like that! I mean, okay, there are things we haven't told you, but we've all had a really long day and we didn't want to put too much on you at once—"

"I'm not a baby! Whatever it is, I can handle it!" And then what he really wanted to say spilled out before he could think better of it. "Are you the ones who made me forget everything? And now you're making up a story about a missing friend to keep me here?"

" _What_? Of course not, why would you think—"

"Then why do only you guys make me feel bad?"

"We don't know, Zoro," Robin said. "But I promise, we're going to find out. It's just as important to us as getting our friend back."

"Yeah, right."

"I don't expect words alone to convince you. Just give us some time."

"You didn't answer. Why me?"

"'Cause we're pretty sure some of those missing memories of yours are gonna help us find him," Sanji said. "So we've got to keep you around until we can help you remember."

"But _why_? How do you know that, but not know what happened to him? That doesn't make sense!"

"Because you've been on this ship before."

Nami's head snapped to stare at the cook. "Sanji-kun, what—"

"Relax, Nami-san. I think we can tell him this much."

"That's not true!" Zoro shook his head. "It can't be."

_Then why did the ship feel like home?_

"It is." Robin hesitated. "We _will_ tell you everything, Zoro. Just…not tonight. All right?"

Zoro crossed his arms and looked away. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Chopper asked.

"To make me remember." Did they have some kind of secret lab? A torture chamber? "Help" could mean a lot of things. And what if they were wrong, and he didn't know anything useful, even if he got every last one of his memories back? Would they finally believe he couldn't help them and let him go, or would they be angry?

"We're not gonna hurt you." Zoro could _hear_ the frown in Luffy's voice. "You're our friend."

"I'm not!" Zoro glared at Luffy's chest; he couldn't quite bring himself to make eye contact. "You're making me help you find your friend. That's all."

"But you're—"

"No! If you're gonna hide things, then just shut up about all of it! I don't want to hear about your friend anymore!"

"But—"

"Okay, on that note, I think it's time we all got some rest," Sanji said. "So, next question: where are we putting him for the night?"

"There's an empty hammock in our room?" Usopp suggested hesitantly.

"No!" Any chance of sleep would be gone that way. "Not with any of you!"

"Could he just stay here on the couch?" Nami said.

"Except I'll be in here early to make breakfast. Might not be a fun way for him to wake up."

Zoro suppressed a shudder.

They brought up and dismissed several more options. Zoro was tempted by the Crow's Nest (and strongly disagreed with Nami's objection that it was too high and hard for a kid to get to), but there was only one way down from it, and it felt too much like a prison tower. In the end, they decided on the library.

The bed they'd made for him was comfortable, and when they finally left him alone, the worst of the bad feelings went with them. Even so, Zoro was sure he'd never be able to sleep. Every noise could be the Straw Hats sneaking back in. How could he possibly relax enough to sleep?

Zoro remained utterly convinced that he'd be awake all night, even as his eyes closed and he slipped into dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy did I struggle with those last ~1400 words (I decided to move some things around and it got complicated). I thought about taking more time to polish them, but it took me half the month to write them in the first place and they're okay enough that I'm ready to move on. Hopefully it was still an enjoyable read!
> 
> No scenes to write for chapter 6, so it should be up in 1 – 2 weeks, depending on how long it takes me to edit. ^_^


	6. Waking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented and/or left kudos! It makes my day to know people are enjoying the story. ^_^

**Day 5**

Zoro woke to sunlight streaming in the tall windows of the library. The light had long since lost that early-morning quality, and was so bright Zoro didn't understand how he could have slept as long as he had. Maybe something in him had kept him under, not wanting to face the world—or rather, the people—waiting for him.

He yawned. His dreams were a dark, blurry mess he couldn't remember clearly, but the lead weight in his stomach told him the outsiders had been a part of them. His eyelids drooped and his limbs felt chained to the floor, but now that he was finally awake, there was no way he could just go back to sleep. Even if he managed it, he'd probably just have more bad dreams he wouldn't remember. More likely, he'd lie there stewing over everything that had happened the night before. What _they'd_ told him—and what they hadn't.

It couldn't be true, could it? He couldn't have _lived_ here with them. He was sick, shaky, and exhausted after just one night; he would have to be out of his mind to think a long sea voyage stuck on this ship would be a good idea. Of course, they hadn't said how long he'd been on the ship—even if they weren't lying, maybe he'd just snuck on board for a few hours. But then why did the ship feel so familiar?

Zoro sat up and pulled the blanket around his shoulders, cold in spite of the warm sun. He was still alone in the room, which surprised him. He'd half expected to wake up with the Straw Hats leaning over him, demanding answers. Could he just stay here? Would they leave him alone, or would they come drag him out once they got tired of waiting for him? They didn't seem like very patient people. Not all of them, anyway. Luffy definitely wouldn't leave him here all day.

His body didn't give him a choice. The hunger he could put off for a while—he'd lasted almost all day yesterday—but there were other needs that couldn't wait. Zoro hauled himself up the ladder a step at a time, thankful he didn't need to pass anyone to reach the bathroom.

By the time he'd finished, the heaviness had lifted a little. He hesitated at the door to the bath. He'd just had one the night before, but he still felt dirty, like simply being here, being around _them_ , was contaminating him. His stomach growled fiercely, and Zoro shook his head and moved on. Stupid. He'd end up taking a dozen baths a day if he gave in to that voice. Going without food was stupid, too. If they tried something, if he did need to run, he'd get nowhere if he passed out from hunger. He was going to be the world's greatest swordsman. Something like this was no problem.

He crept to the windows, trying not to feel like a criminal, and peered out. If he had to go out there and see _them_ again, he at least didn't want to be surprised if they were all waiting right outside. There was no one in sight, but Zoro's skin prickled as he heard faint voices and laughter in the distance.

He shook himself and reached for the door. He could do this.

He found the outsiders on the grassy deck. (He hadn't paid attention the night before, but wasn't it weird to have a lawn on a ship? It was a ship. Grass was for land. And yet it seemed perfectly right for it to be there; he couldn't imagine the ship without it.) The lawn was covered by an enormous colorful blanket, and the blanket was covered by boxes piled high with food, so many there was barely room for everyone to sit. But they'd found room somehow, and Zoro saw they'd left a corner free, just big enough for him and as far away from the rest of them as it could be while still being part of the blanket.

"Oi, Zoro!"

Zoro flinched back like Luffy had shot at him. He couldn't help it. Whatever he'd told himself before coming out here, being brave and standing his ground was much harder when he actually had to see and hear them.

Luffy's smile faltered, but he waved enthusiastically. "Come down! Sanji made lunch, but we didn't want to start without you, and I'm starving!"

"I didn't ask you to wait!" Zoro hoped the trembling in his voice wasn't noticeable. He didn't want to go down there. But he had to. He'd already decided he had to eat, hadn't he? And they might get angry again if he kept them waiting.

It was a good thing the open blanket corner was closest to the slide; his legs didn't feel steady enough for stairs.

"We wanted to," Chopper told him as he edged onto the blanket. "We're friends. It wouldn't feel right, not eating together."

Zoro scowled down at the annoyingly cheerful blanket. "You're still going on about that? I told you, you've got the wrong person. I don't know you guys."

"Making a guest eat alone would be even ruder," Robin said. "Don't worry, it hasn't been that long."

"Yeah, Luffy's stomach likes to exaggerate," Usopp said.

"Anyway, take whatever you like." Sanji waved a hand at the array of food.

Nami passed him a plate. "We thought a picnic lunch would be a good idea, since we kept you cooped up indoors all last night."

It _was_ better, being outside. Not by much, but enough that Zoro didn't think he'd have a problem keeping down the (amazing) food, in spite of the knots in his stomach. His shoulders stayed tense as he ate. They were going to bring it up again. They _had_ to. He'd seen the look in their eyes the night before; they wouldn't just let the idea drop, no matter how little sense it made for him to have lived here or known their missing friend.

_Now,_ he thought, as he reached for a carton of fried chicken. But the only sound was Luffy gulping down meat.

_Now,_ he thought, as he refilled his glass of juice. But all he heard was Nami asking Sanji for more salad.

_Now?_ he thought, as he stuffed another piece of potato in his mouth. Someone cleared their throat, and Zoro jumped, nearly dropping his plate.

"Ah, that's good," Brook said. "Sanji-san, promise you'll never leave us again, all right? I don't think I could survive without your food. Even though I've already died, yohohoho! Once was bad enough."

"So I heard." Sanji gave Luffy a dark look. "Though which one of you idiots thought it was a good idea to let _Luffy_ in the kitchen unsupervised…"

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Luffy protested.

"Luffy, you nearly poisoned us all," Nami said. "Including yourself!"

"And then he _actually_ got poisoned, right?" Usopp asked.

"Yes!" Chopper turned a furious look on Luffy. "All because he couldn't wait to make sure that fish was safe—"

"It was yummy, and I was hungry!" Luffy grabbed another leg of meat and bit down, as if to illustrate the point.

"You wouldn't get into nearly as much trouble if you spent less time thinking with your stomach," Nami scolded him, and Luffy laughed.

Zoro looked at Sanji. _Why weren't you there?_ But he didn't ask. He couldn't just jump in, like they were having a normal conversation and he was a normal part of it. The less attention they paid him, the better.

But someone seemed to have heard his unspoken question, because before long, they were explaining all about how they'd had to rescue Sanji from a dangerous pirate's territory, and how without them, he'd either be married or dead right now (Zoro wasn't entirely clear on which). They acted like they were just talking with each other, but Zoro knew better. All of them already knew what had happened. They'd have no reason to tell everything in such detail if he wasn't there. It was a tale full of action and excitement, exactly the kind of story that a kid dreaming of adventure would love, and Zoro was drawn in despite himself. Even the bad twisty feelings had settled into a slow churning that was almost ignorable.

Once they'd finished talking about Sanji, they told him an earlier story, about a time when both Robin and Usopp had nearly left the crew. Zoro wondered if they were really as close as they claimed, if people kept trying to leave all the time.

"Sometimes bonds that are broken and reforged are stronger than those that have never been tested," Robin told him.

Crap, had he said that out loud? He needed to be more careful. He didn't want them to get the idea that he was enjoying himself. He kept his mouth resolutely shut as the story continued.

The Straw Hats were good storytellers. In his mind, Zoro could see the city of Water 7 as clearly as if he'd been there himself. He felt the pain of betrayal and the worry for their safety. He forgot the bright sun overhead as his skin was pelted by phantom drops of water from a long-ago storm.

But there were moments when the story slipped. When Usopp stumbled over being handcuffed to someone and used as a sword, even though a moment ago he'd been talking like he'd taken on the two enemies alone. When Luffy excitedly described cutting through a wave with an awesome combo attack, even though Luffy's attacks didn't _cut_ things and he hadn't mentioned anyone else being on the train's roof with him. Every time the Straw Hats caught themselves just before saying a name.

Zoro knew what they were doing. He wasn't stupid. He knew who they were editing out of the tales. He just couldn't figure out why. They had been so insistent that he help them find their missing friend, but now they didn't seem to want to mention him at all. Wouldn't it make more sense to tell lots of stories about him, so people would care about him and want to help? Zoro didn't even know the guy's name.

Were they just trying to make him relax before their next round of questioning? Did they think he was going to jump in to correct them?

"…and Luffy finally won, but he collapsed right after and couldn't move at all," Usopp was saying. "The Marines were closing in, too: warships surrounding the tower, no way out, only seconds away from blowing it all to bits with Luffy in it!"

Zoro felt his throat tightening with fear, in spite of the fact that all the Straw Hats were sitting right there and had obviously made it out okay. It didn't matter. In that moment, he was _there_ , looking at that half-ruined building, Luffy about to disappear forever—

"And then, just when all hope was lost, something amazing happened!" Usopp flailed his arms wildly. "We heard—"

— _a voice,_ Zoro thought. _Merry came…_

"—a voice! And whose voice do you think it was?"

Zoro's eyes were wide. _That's not possible. Ships don't talk. And I can't have known what happened, because I_ wasn't _there!_

"Our beloved Going Merry returned to help us one last time!" Usopp was doing a terrible job of holding back tears, but several of the others weren't far behind.

Zoro snatched a sandwich from the basket in front of him and jammed it into his mouth, not caring what kind it was. If his mouth was full, words wouldn't come out. If he didn't say anything, then his impossible thoughts weren't real. He'd made a lucky guess or something. It didn't mean he'd _known_. A living ship wasn't out of place in a story for kids. Maybe they'd even made it up because they thought he'd like it better than whatever really happened. Yes, that was probably it. He swallowed his last mouthful of sandwich, relieved to find no words flooded in to take its place.

The Straw Hats had moved on to another story, this one full of monsters and zombies. Zoro wasn't impressed by most of it—did they expect him to be scared? When he was already brave enough to sit with them?—though the zombie samurai did sound kind of cool.

But then they got to the end of the story.

Luffy had defeated the bad guys and everyone was safe. Until they weren't. Zoro wasn't sure whether the man (bear?) that had shown up was a bad guy or not. The Straw Hats talked about him almost like he was a friend, but in the story, he was attacking them. He wanted to take Luffy's head. How could they just laugh off something like that?

"Well, a lot has happened between now and then," Nami said, and Zoro mentally kicked himself for letting a question slip out without noticing, _again_. "He's actually done a lot for us."

"If we never forgave anyone who'd ever been an enemy, we'd have a lot less friends," Sanji said.

"Yeah! And anyway, everyone was fine once we woke up." Luffy waved a ham bone in the air. "I even felt lots better! My wounds didn't hurt and I had tons of energy and everything. So I don't think he did anything."

Something not-quite-real shifted, and a shiver ran up Zoro's spine. He felt unbalanced, like the deck beneath him wasn't down anymore, and his body was waiting to see which way to fall.

_No. That's…_

"We must've scared him off!" Usopp puffed out his chest. "He obviously knew the trouble he'd be in if he let us get another shot at him, so he decided to run."

_That's wrong. It's_ wrong _._

"He helped us later, though. Don't you think it's more likely he'd already decided to help us and just needed to put on a show?"

_It wasn't…_

"But he barely even hurt anyone, and it's not like we were in any shape to put up much of a fight."

_It wasn't_ like _that!_

He didn't know what was _right_ , didn't know how to fill in the gaps so things made sense, but Zoro felt it in every particle of his body: _something_ had most definitely happened. Something that wasn't just the bear-man changing his mind and leaving peacefully.

"Well, maybe he—"

" _Stop it_!"

They were staring at him, all of them. Zoro's skin burned under their gaze. He would have checked to make sure he wasn't on fire, but he was too busy clutching his head, which suddenly felt as though a nail had been driven into it.

He stumbled back—when had he stood up?—and tripped, landing in the grass with a thud. He was up again at once, backing away from the outsiders. They were up now, too, approaching him with faces full of anger—

[No, concern?]

"Zoro?"

"Hey, you okay?"

" _Stop talking_!" The volume he'd managed would make any warrior proud, but the terror in his shout would have been easy for a baby to pick up, let alone these dangerous _adults_. Zoro screwed his eyes shut. Maybe if he couldn't see them, his voice would listen to him better.

"Stop! Enough! No more stories! I don't want to hear any more!" He took a shuddering breath, willing his lunch to stay in his stomach, willing his head to stop pounding, willing the fear to leave his voice. "No more," he repeated, almost in a whisper this time.

* * *

This was _so_ bad. Usopp had known it was bad from the first day Zoro had failed to return to the ship, and everything that had happened since had only proved him right. Or wrong, because at no point in his initial panic had he ever imagined things going as badly as they were now.

Plan "make Zoro remember something by telling stories" was a colossal failure. Oh, the tales had definitely gotten a _reaction_ —any doubts Usopp might have had that this kid really was _their_ Zoro were long gone—but far from helping him, they seemed to have put Zoro on the verge of another panic attack.

What had _happened_ to him? And how were they going to fix it? _Could_ it be fixed, or were they going to be stuck forever with a pint-sized swordsman who hyperventilated if he spent too much time with them?

_No, no. Stop that. You always worry too much. It'll work out somehow, even if you have no idea_ how _. That's what we do._

His internal pep talk didn't make him feel any better as he watched Zoro gasp for air, looking seconds away from collapsing again. Beside Usopp, Luffy was shaking nearly as badly as Zoro. Usopp could tell he wanted to run over and…hug Zoro, maybe, or wrestle him, tickle him, _anything_ to make him stop looking so upset. But he couldn't. Physical contact was definitely not the way to go here, a lesson they'd all had drilled into them the night before. Any kind of contact was probably not a great idea, honestly, but they couldn't just walk away and _leave_ Zoro like this.

"Oh look, we have company!"

Brook's voice was overbright, in the manner of someone seizing at a somewhat forced distraction. He was right, though, and to Usopp's surprise, the company in question wasn't another delegation of islanders trying to make them leave.

A pirate ship was approaching the harbor.

The ship was bigger than Sunny, and darker, with a wild look about it. The sails were trimmed with rough fur— _they must weight a_ ton _when they get wet_ —and the railings and decorations were made of dull metal and featured spikes a bit more heavily than Usopp considered healthy. The pirates crowding the deck matched their ship so perfectly that it took a moment to be sure there were people there, rather than a collection of porcupine-bear hybrids.

A soft whine drew Usopp's attention back to Zoro, who was looking between the newcomers and the Straw Hats as though trying to decide which was the bigger threat.

His heart sank. _He's not going to try to run to their ship, is he?_ But Zoro just took a shaky step backward, further distancing himself from all of them.

"Well, looky here! Seems we got some celebrities waitin' to greet us!" The speaker's face was barely visible beneath his furs, but Usopp caught a glimpse of a large (though much less magnificent than Usopp's own) nose and a braided mustache.

Luffy pointed at the man. "It's a talking rug!"

A brief spluttering cough came from Zoro's direction.

"Ah, he's a joker." Rug-man didn't seem terribly amused, though his lips were stretched in a smile. "Weren't expectin' to find such a big name in a place like this, Straw Hat. Just passing through?"

"What's it to ya?" Franky asked before Luffy had a chance to respond. Usopp approved. He wouldn't put it past Luffy to simply blurt out everything, including Zoro's current predicament, and there was no need to give these people any more information than absolutely necessary.

"Just makin' sure we won't be having any problems. You may have got here first, but we've our eyes on this little spot now, and we're not big on sharing."

Luffy scratched his head. "Huh?"

"This island, Straw Hat." Rug-man gestured at the shore in front of them. "Big place, but not so many people actually livin' here. Less people, less plunder. So here's some free advice: stay on your ship if you don't want to lose it, 'cause we'll have plenty of room left for dessert once we've finished the main course."

Luffy frowned up at him. "Did they take one of your friends, too?"

The braided mustache twitched in a laugh. "Any friend of mine stupid enough to get taken by mere islanders wouldn't deserve the title. This is business." Rug-man glanced at the pirates around him and grinned wider. "An' maybe a bit of pleasure."

"Zoro's not stupid!"

Usopp seized Luffy's arm to stop him from storming over to the other ship. He was dragged a few steps before Sanji and Robin joined in and Luffy reluctantly came to a halt.

Zoro was staring at Luffy, brow furrowed.

"Careful there, Straw Hat. Best not to throw away perfectly good advice. Were you any other crew, your treasure'd already be ours, and your ship a lost cause to boot. Take it as a mark of respect for your reputation that we're givin' you the chance to stay out of things. I suggest you just sit back an' enjoy the show!"

Rug-man finished with a wild roar, which was instantly taken up by the rest of his crew. For nearly a minute, the docks seemed to be covered in a large patchwork fur rug as the pirates swarmed off their ship. Then the horde disappeared into the town, and something vaguely resembling silence descended.

"Are we just going to let them destroy the town?" Brook asked.

Nami folded her arms. "If they wanted our help, maybe they should have been a bit less tight-lipped when we needed theirs."

Luffy looked at the town, then at Zoro, frowning.

"You can't just let them—" Zoro cut himself off, flinching, as everyone's eyes fell on him.

"We should help them," Robin said. "Questions of morality aside, we still don't know what happened to Zoro, or how to fix it. If these pirates destroy the island, we may lose an important piece of the puzzle."

"Sometimes I hate it when you're right," Usopp moaned.

"Hey." Zoro was frowning, his eyes slightly unfocused, as though looking at something they couldn't see. "What are you talking about? Why do you keep using my name? I thought you were talking about your missing friend."

"Uh, well…that is…" Usopp stammered.

Oh, this was bad. Should they just tell him? But now really wasn't the moment, was it? And Zoro had barely started to calm down from before—was it really a good idea to drop a bomb like "actually, you _are_ our missing friend, and by the way, you're also supposed to be twenty-one years old" _now_?

No. No, it wasn't, but—

"Don't lie to me!"

"Well, the thing is…our friend…is also named Zoro!" Nami laughed awkwardly. "Funny, isn't it?"

_Oh, come on, was that really the best you could come up with, Nami?_ Not that Usopp had had any better ideas, but still.

Zoro stared at her suspiciously. "We have the same name?"

"T-that's right!" Usopp jumped in. Might as well go all the way, now that Nami had committed them. "It would have been a bit awkward to bring up last night, so we thought we'd let you get settled in first!" Was Zoro buying it? He couldn't tell. That glare could mean any of a dozen things.

"…How many Zoros do you _know_?" he asked at last.

"Not as many as you might think," Nami said. "But you're definitely the cutest."

And just like that, the suspicion was gone as red flooded Zoro's cheeks. "I am not!"

A loud crash from the direction of town cut the teasing session short.

"What are we waiting for?" Luffy slammed a fist into his palm. "Let's go already!"

"Wait," Nami said quickly. "What about—" Her very obvious glance at Zoro made the unspoken end of her sentence clear. Zoro flinched again at the sudden attention, though he pulled a scowl onto his face that would have been impressive if Usopp hadn't seen the grown-up version.

"What d'ya mean?" Franky asked.

Nami dropped her voice. "Well, we can't leave him here alone. Someone has to stay with him!"

Chopper's ears drooped a little. "He's not coming with us?"

Sanji shook his head. "That's not a good idea."

"You know how chaotic fights can get," Nami said. "He could get hurt—"

"I wouldn't let anything happen to him," Luffy said.

"S-still," Usopp rubbed his arm and tried very hard not to look at Zoro. "What if he tries to run away? It'd be easy to lose a kid in a crowd, and it was hard enough finding him the first time."

"That's a risk," Nami said. "And also—"

"Stop talking like I'm not here!"

They broke from the huddle they'd unconsciously formed and turned. Usopp shivered. Zoro's previous scowl had been good for a kid, but this one, even with the furious tears threatening to spill from his eyes, could probably have sent Rug-man's entire crew running if they'd met it down a dark alley.

"Zoro—" Nami began.

"Shut up! You talk all friendly, but you don't trust me at all!" Zoro swiped a hand through the air. "I'm just your prisoner!"

"You're not!" Chopper had tears in his own eyes, now.

"We just can't risk losing you yet," Sanji said.

Zoro was shaking hard, but he didn't look away. "I said I wouldn't run."

"Zoro…" Nami swallowed. "Even if you don't run, even if you don't get hurt…a lot of people got angry with us just for trying to talk to you yesterday. If we show up to a fight with you, it could make a bad situation worse."

"It's _normal_ to get angry at kidnappers!" Zoro retorted.

"We aren't kidnappers!" Luffy took a step forward.

Zoro took two quick steps back, his entire body cringing away from Luffy so hard that Usopp was sure he would have fallen over if those steps hadn't brought him bumping up against the tree near the slide.

But his voice, while shaky, hadn't lost any of its fire. "Then why am I here?"

"We told you: because—"

"I don't want to be here!" Zoro shouted, and oh, that felt like a bullet through Usopp's heart, even if he knew Zoro didn't know any better. Judging from their expressions, everyone else felt the same. "I only made a deal because you wouldn't let me leave otherwise! Why am I here, if you aren't kidnappers?"

"Regardless of what you can accuse us of now," Robin said, voice shaking only slightly, "at the time, we were only trying to talk to you, not take you anywhere."

"And they already want us to leave," Sanji said. "We don't need to be fending off any idiotic 'rescue missions' on top of everything else. Quit being difficult."

"Don't tell me what to—"

"We don't have time for this!" Nami broke in. " _I'll_ stay with him. Franky, Brook, why don't you stay, too? The rest of you, get going already!"

Luffy was scowling—whether because of Zoro or because of Nami sidestepping his authority as captain, Usopp wasn't sure—but he leapt for Sunny's rail anyway. "We'll be back."

* * *

The sounds of breaking glass and splintering wood weren't Usopp's first choice for a greeting. Or his second. Really, they didn't make the list at all. On the upside, there was no smoke yet. No screaming, either.

In fact, the townspeople were just standing in the street as the pirates destroyed their shops, chatting with each other like they were watching a mildly interesting sports match.

"What do you think? The stationery store next?"

"What on earth would they want with stationery? No, five silvers says they go for the wine shop."

"Bah, everyone knows the crap Rimkin sells tastes like swamp water."

" _They_ don't know that, do they? It's alcohol. They're pirates. It'll be the wine shop."

"Fine, five silvers it'll be anything _but_ the wine shop."

_Are…are they_ betting _on which shop will be looted next?_ Usopp spied a cluster of people lounging on the steps of a building across the street, drinking something out of small cups. _What's wrong with these people?!_

"You're both fools. Ten silvers they don't even get to make the choice."

Usopp rounded on the betting men. "Hey, aren't you worried at all? Do you think this is funny because it's not your shop they're trashing?"

One of the men shrugged. "We told them they'd be better off leaving. It's out of our hands. Might as well get some entertainment out of it."

"Wha—but—"

"Well, I'm not just going to sit around and do nothing!" Luffy stomped forward.

"Oh, there's no need for that, dear."

One middle-aged lady shouldn't spook an experienced pirate just by speaking, especially with a bunch of much larger and more dangerous-looking men right in front of him. So Usopp was perfectly calm as he turned. He absolutely did not jump, or yelp, or give any indication that he hadn't already known she was there. He was the picture of confidence.

The woman rubbed her ear. "Now then, there's no need for screaming, either; those fools are making enough noise as it is."

"Hello again," Robin said. She stepped past him, and Usopp gratefully melted back against a wall.

"Oh, it's you!" The smile the woman gave Robin wasn't fake, exactly, but it wasn't quite warm enough to reach her eyes. "I thought you might have stopped by the library again, since you're still here."

"I'm afraid I've been busy."

Okay, apparently Robin and Sneaky Ninja Lady knew each other.

"Why shouldn't we help? They're destroying your town, and no one else is doing anything to stop them."

"Because they don't need to. It'll be taken care of," the ninja—librarian?—said. "As outsiders yourselves, you should watch closely. It's best you know the price of making trouble on this island."

Her words couldn't have been better timed if she'd been following a movie script.

A groan shuddered through the air, felt as much as heard. No human could have made it—it was the sound of a castle falling to ruins, a ship splitting open against a rocky cliff—yet there was too much feeling in the noise to be the work of an inanimate object.

Around the ruined shops, the ground bulged and rippled. The cobbled street split apart, and something moved within it. No, lots of somethings. Usopp whimpered, edging closer to Robin, as huge, misshapen creatures rose up into the light. Most were vaguely humanoid—at least, they had four limbs and stood on two—but their bodies were lumpy and rough, made of stone and earth and tangled roots. Their eyes gleamed dully, like chips of glass illuminated by a dying lamp.

In concert, the creatures took a shuffling step toward the shops the pirates were currently looting, then another, and another. Another groan echoed, higher pitched and grating enough that Usopp clapped hands to his ears, and more creatures formed, this time from the wood and stone of the ruined shops around them.

After the creatures entered the shops, the street felt quiet. Not that it was silent—Usopp could hear the pirates shouting, the sounds of things being broken or eaten, then the clang of weapons being drawn as the new arrivals were noticed—but it was muted somehow, like the whole town was holding its breath, bracing for the coming storm.

Then the pirates' shouts turned to screams of pain. Soon after, they stopped.

Less than three minutes after entering the shops, the creatures emerged, each carrying something large, hairy, and limp. Some of the bundles twitched faintly. Others swung with a loose, grim finality.

The remains of the would-be pillagers were tossed in a heap in the street, and the creatures broke apart, sinking back into the earth and buildings with a soft grinding noise that was almost anticlimactic after the shrieks and groans that had announced their arrival. Another rumbling noise started soon after, and the ground rose again, this time in a formless wave that lifted the fallen pirates and bore them southeast, toward the docks.

"They'll be returned to their ship, which will be cut loose and set adrift," the librarian said. "The ones who survive will hopefully be a little less foolish in the future, and won't make a return trip."

"And if they do?" Sanji asked quietly.

"Usually there isn't enough left to bother returning them to their ship a second time."

A cacophony of grinding, cracking, and tinkling drew Usopp's attention back to the damaged shops, which were— _Holy crap, they're repairing themselves!_ Broken boards snapped straight again, stone walls rebuilt, shattered windows fused back together and leapt into place. Within minutes, there was no sign the island's peace had ever been disrupted, save for the crowd of onlookers, who were already beginning to move on.

"Told you." The third man in the nearby group of betters held out his hand to the other two. "Ten silvers. Pay up."

"Was that a devil fruit?" Robin asked.

The librarian huffed a laugh and shrugged one shoulder. "Who can say? Perhaps it was, once. Now it's simply one of the benefits of living here. Impressive, isn't it?"

"It was terrifying!" That wasn't a response worthy of a brave warrior of the sea, so Usopp pressed on. "A power like that would be really handy. It'd be great to have something like that on our side."

"You wouldn't like the cost," the librarian told him.

"Cost?" Chopper asked.

The librarian shook her head. "At any rate, I hope you've all learned something here today. This island does not tolerate disruption or bad behavior, and will keep the peace by any means necessary. In over five hundred years, it has not failed to do so once."

Did she mean the people living here, or…was she implying the entire island was alive? Aware? Usopp suddenly wanted very badly to leave, and he mentally cursed Zoro for getting into trouble and forcing them to overstay their welcome.

"Most visitors aren't lucky enough to get a preview of the consequences of overstepping their bounds. Don't waste it. No matter how strong you are, you'd be better off leaving as soon as possible." She smiled, and this time Usopp could see the sadness in it. "Although you're welcome in my library for as long as you're here."

Luffy pushed past Robin, scowling at the librarian. "We're not leaving without Zoro!"

The smile dropped from the librarian's face. "I admire your determination, young man, but if you thoughtlessly try to have your way in everything, you could make the situation much worse." She was at least two inches shorter than Luffy, but she seemed to tower over him as she delivered her final words. "I suggest you consider your next moves very carefully. Don't make the mistake of assuming you can't lose anything else."

* * *

The walk back to the ship was uncomfortably quiet. The need to be _doing_ something hung in the air, but there was currently no enemy to charge in and defeat, just a lot of questions without answers. Luffy had been all for attacking the town themselves, then making the creatures tell them how to fix things when they showed up, but the idea had been unanimously vetoed, and no one else seemed to have a suggestion.

"We may need to push Zoro a little harder," Robin said at last. "Our stories today did get a reaction, however negative. If we can get him to remember, even a little, he may give us the clue we need."

Chopper stared down at his feet. "Or he could hate us even more."

"Zoro won't hate us." Luffy sounded absolutely sure of himself. "We're friends."

Usopp wished he had the same confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to posting the next chapter. :D Hopefully it won't take me too long to have it ready.


	7. Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zoro and his body have a few differences of opinion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented and/or left kudos! It really means a lot to me. ♥

**Day 5**

"Where are you taking me?"

Something was up. The Straw Hats had come back looking even more serious than when they'd left, and had barely said a word to him before grabbing the three who'd stayed behind and dragging them as far away as possible without being out of sight. Zoro would have appreciated the extra space, but they were looking at him so often he might as well have been right next to them as far as his churning stomach was concerned, and there were a lot of wild gestures in his direction and near-shouts. It was obvious _who_ they were discussing, and not having the details only made it worse. Dinner had been almost silent, and though he'd only been there a day, Zoro knew that wasn't normal.

And now they were dragging him somewhere on the ship, to "show him something".

"We wanted to show you our room!" Usopp was trying too hard to sound happy. Maybe a three-year-old would have fallen for it, but Zoro knew better. "There's a ton of cool stuff in there."

"I hope you're not counting the smell as one of them." Nami wrinkled her nose as Luffy pushed open the door.

"Hey, we just cleaned everything a week ago, I'll have you know!" Usopp shot back. Nami didn't look impressed.

Zoro stopped just outside. He didn't want to go in there. Nothing they wanted to show him could be good, and his stomach had flipped weakly when he'd watched Luffy walk through that door. Just as he was debating making a break for the kitchen, Chopper bumped into him from behind. Zoro's skin prickled like he'd had a jar of ants dumped over him, and he shot into the room with a yelp, narrowly avoiding banging his head against the side of a sink. He scowled at it. Why did they even have a sink in here when they could just go to one of the bathrooms?

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" Chopper squeaked from the doorway.

Zoro didn't respond. He didn't look at any of them. Instead, he braced himself and took his first look around the room.

It didn't seem that special, as rooms went. A bunch of bunk beds, a row of lockers…the table that seemed to be halfway through the floor was sort of interesting, but wasn't really enough to be called "a ton of cool stuff" on its own. The room had the same unsettling feeling of _home_ as the rest of the ship, but that was all. Why had they wanted him to—

A creak announced Brook opening one of the lockers. Despite himself, Zoro stepped forward. He was suddenly sure he didn't want to see what was in there, but his feet weren't listening to him. Brook noticed him coming, and stepped aside, and—

_What._

The locker was more than half full of various things, but Zoro only had eyes for three. Then his world narrowed again, and the locker might as well have been empty except for the white sword.

_Why—_

His stomach clenched. A noise rang in his ears, angry and hurt and lost, and it took him several long moments to understand it was coming from him.

_That's…_

How he remembered the sword so well when he barely remembered the girl, Zoro didn't know, but he'd recognized it immediately. Wadō. _Her_ sword. _His_ sword?

"Why is that here?" he demanded, rounding on the Straw Hats. One of them took a step forward, and Zoro _growled_. This sword shouldn't be here. They shouldn't have it. This was _wrong_ , because if Wadō was here, then—

"We found them in the forest," Nami told him. Something in him almost relaxed, because if they'd just _found_ Wadō, if it hadn't been _left_ here, maybe that meant—but they'd still taken it, _stolen_ it, when it had been _hers_ …

"It's not yours!"

"You're right," Robin said. She had taken something off the wall—a sheet of paper?—and held it out to him. "They're his."

She was too far away for him to reach, but she sprouted arms from the floor and passed the paper along until it was right in front of him and he had no choice but to look at it.

If he'd seen the paper a day ago, he would have thought the man in the wanted poster was scary. After looking at it for a bit, he might have admired how fierce the man was, would have imagined looking that powerful himself someday. But Zoro had seen his own reflection now, and he wasn't an idiot.

The man in the poster looked just like him.

Only he _didn't_ , because he was a man, an _adult_ , with a hard face and a thick neck and _earrings_ , and Zoro was just…

His eyes skipped down to the name printed beneath the photo. And they'd _said_ their missing friend had the same name as him, but seeing "Roronoa Zoro" in big black letters, describing someone who wasn't, couldn't be _him_ … He hadn't even known the name "Roronoa" before looking at the poster, but the moment he saw it, it felt just as much _his_ as "Zoro" was. It made no sense. It wasn't _possible_.

One hand touched his face, just below his left eye. He couldn't feel the silver line. There was no bump or dip to mark the spot as any different from the rest of his skin. But he knew it was there, he'd seen it in the bathroom mirror, and he knew it was in the same place as the scar that had taken this man's eye.

Exactly the same place.

"What—" The word came out in a whine. "I don't—No—" _Why_ wouldn't his voice listen to him?

"You're Zoro," Luffy said. " _Our_ Zoro."

" _No_ —"

"I know it sounds strange." Brook's hand moved as though to grasp Zoro's shoulder, but Zoro recoiled and he pulled it back. "But we've seen enough to know that strange doesn't mean impossible."

Zoro whipped his head from side to side, as though he could shake their words from his ears if he tried hard enough. He hated how much sense they made, if you could just accept one impossible thing as being true. Except they didn't make sense at all, because for all that the ship felt like home, these people _didn't_. Home wasn't supposed to make you feel bad.

More importantly, if they'd been after him all this time because they thought he _was_ their friend, that meant—

"We want to help you," Robin said. "Something happened to you on this island, and if we can find out what, we may be able to undo it, to fix—"

" _No_!" Zoro ripped the wanted poster from the Robin-hand. He crushed it as hard as he could, relief and dread mingling as _that man's_ piercing gaze disappeared from view.

He'd been right.

"All this time!" He hurled the crumpled paper to the ground. Robin's words had been the spark he needed to turn terror into anger, and he had more than enough to fuel the fire. They'd upset him when they'd insisted on keeping him on the ship, and when they'd asked him weird things, but they'd been…nice, otherwise, and if he could have come here by his own choice and without any bad feelings following him, he might even have enjoyed himself, might have hoped for—

But this…he wished he'd been wrong. This was even worse than being a prisoner. "You spent all this time acting friendly, but you don't care about me at all!"

"Of course we do!" Nami said. "You're not listening—"

"I _am_. You never needed my _help_ , you never wanted _me_ , you just didn't want to lose me before you could trade me in for your _real_ friend. I can't believe I thought…" The room had gone blurry. _No._ He couldn't cry, he couldn't. He didn't want them to know how much it hurt.

"No!" Chopper's shrill cry made Zoro's ears hurt. "That's not true!"

"I'm not good enough, so you want to _fix_ me!" Stupid. He was so stupid. He didn't even want to be here; why would he be upset that they didn't want to keep him?

"That's not what I meant at all," Robin said. "Zoro—"

"You're wrong!" Zoro stomped his foot, and a small cloud of dust rose from the floor. _See? They're liars. They lied about cleaning, and they lied about wanting you._ "I'm not him, I'm not yours, I _can't_ be!"

"Yes you are," Luffy said. "You don't remember right now, but you're still Zoro. We're friends."

"Luffy," Robin said, "I don't think—"

"We aren't!" Zoro couldn't stop the tears anymore, but he wouldn't, couldn't, let the anger leave, because as long as he was angry, he could stop himself from backing away, from cringing or flinching or acting like a scared little boy.

Even if that was what he was.

"You don't understand anything! You have no idea how bad it feels, being near you!" Zoro swiped at his eyes and glared furiously at Luffy, beating back the wave of nausea that rolled through him as their gazes met. "I _can't_ be your Zoro, because I'd _die_ if I had to live like this all the time!"

It was Luffy's turn to flinch back, face falling, and Zoro felt something twist inside. He gave the feeling one shuddering gasp, then forced it away, too. He had to stay strong.

" _Get out_." The words left him in a hiss like an angry cat. The Straw H—the outsiders shuffled, uncertain.

"C'mon now." Sanji was trying for cheerful, but he was fooling no one, least of all Zoro, with his mask of a smile. "We can't just—"

"Get out!" Zoro's fist closed on empty air. There were swords behind him, but if he turned around to grab one, he'd never be able to look back again. He'd lose. "Liars. If we really _were_ friends, you'd trust me enough to leave me alone!"

They wanted to argue. Of course they did. They wouldn't give up, just like that. What would they try next? They still hadn't said anything. Were they mad? Something cold wormed its way through his insides, the silence eating away at the flames of his anger. What were they going to do to him?

"Get out," he repeated, the words barely more than a whisper. _Please._

"Okay."

Luffy's voice was almost as quiet as Zoro's had been, but everyone jumped.

"I trust my friends, and you're my friend. So we'll leave. But we're not giving up on you."

Luffy took a step back, then another, and then all of them were heading for the door. Zoro's legs felt like limp balloons, but somehow he stayed on his feet as they filed out into the night, shooting him awkward, anxious looks as they went.

In spite of being the first to move, Luffy was last to leave. He lingered in the doorway, biting his lip.

Zoro dropped his gaze to the floor as the sour taste in his mouth grew stronger. He couldn't look anymore. _Don't. Please don't. Leave. Leave now, or I'm gonna—_

"Night, Zoro." There was a soft click as the door shut.

Zoro crashed to the floor, heaving up his dinner in between great shuddering sobs.

* * *

He went to the swords, once the tears had stopped and he'd wiped his mouth and his legs were willing to support him again. He reached for Wadō first, brushing a finger along its sheath, then wrapping a hand around it, but not quite daring to pick it up. He still didn't want to believe it was _his_ Wadō, but it felt too familiar to be anything else. He'd know this sword anywhere, even a place like this, where it _shouldn't be_.

He didn't recognize the other two swords, but he loved them immediately. They were beautiful. He wanted to wield them. His hand moved forward unconsciously, touching the red sword—

Zoro jumped back, shivering. _What was that?_ For an instant, he'd been sure he was facing down a bloodthirsty beast, not a sword.

His body automatically fell into a fighting stance, and he glared at the sword. "What's your problem?"

The sword said nothing.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Lie, and the sword knew it. He _was_ scared. Not because of the sword's sharp edge, or even its unsettling aura, but because it felt like the sword knew him, even if he didn't know it. He was being judged, and the sword wasn't pleased with what it saw. The image of a loyal dog turning on its master leapt to mind—which was stupid, because _this wasn't his sword_.

"Leave me alone," Zoro growled at it. "This wasn't my idea, so there's no point being mad at me."

The sword said nothing.

"If you want to fight, I'm ready," Zoro said. "I won't run away, even if I _am_ scared!"

The sword said nothing, and Zoro's cheeks warmed. What was he doing? He was standing alone in this room, shouting at a sword. Of course it wasn't going to answer him; it was a _sword_. Except…maybe it was just his imagination, but the dark aura in the room didn't seem as intense anymore. Still there, but watchful rather than threatening. Maybe it _had_ heard him, somehow.

Tearing his eyes away from the swords, Zoro looked down, spotting a roughly folded pile of cloth on the floor of the locker. It was dirty and worn, but he reached for it anyway, because it was something to think about that wasn't the outsiders, or the three swords in front of him. (He had avoided looking closely at the third sword so far; if he looked at it, he wouldn't be able to keep himself from touching it, and he wasn't ready for another battle of wills so soon after the red sword.)

Zoro shook out the bundle of cloth. A rumpled mess that might have been pants fell to the floor, along with a red sash and a green thing he didn't immediately recognize the purpose of. He ignored them, though, focusing on the item he still held: a long coat, dark green and heavy. It was possibly the coolest piece of clothing Zoro had ever seen.

Without quite realizing what he was doing, Zoro slipped the coat on. His fingers fumbled with the buttons, but eventually he managed most of them. He retrieved the sash from the floor and tied it around his waist, then shuffled over to the sink, where someone had left a crate to serve as a footstool. He climbed up and peered into the mirror.

He was drowning in cloth. Even with the topmost buttons done, the neck was so wide it was a miracle the coat was still on his shoulders, and without the tightly-knotted sash, the whole thing would surely be on the floor.

How big had he been, the man who'd worn this coat? He'd tower over Zoro, tall and broad and _strong_ in a way even an adult would find hard to match. And the outsiders thought _Zoro_ was him?

The crumpled bounty poster on the floor caught his eye. Zoro made his way to it, nearly tripping every other step as the coat dragged on the floor. He picked up the paper and smoothed it out, staring at the creased photo. The single eye glared, not even looking at the camera yet piercing through him like a burning spear. Only the face was pictured, but Zoro could see the outline of phantom muscles extending outward, as though the man's ghost was coming to life on the page. His eyes caught unwillingly on small details: the green hair peeking out from beneath the ink-black bandana, the deep scar that matched his strange marking, the unsettlingly familiar shape of the man's good eye and scowling brows.

Zoro shivered. As much as he didn't want to, he could see the resemblance. This man was very like the way he'd imagined himself as a grown-up in his dreams. He had no trouble picturing this man holding the title of world's greatest swordsman.

This man could easily beat the promise-girl who'd always defeated him. She wouldn't even be a challenge.

It was too much, too far, too _different_. This wasn't him. This _couldn't_ be him. Someone like this, someone this powerful, couldn't have lost it all so fast, been reduced to a _baby_ like him.

He squashed the bounty poster into the tightest ball he could manage and threw it as hard as he could. It bounced off the wall with a soft thwack and tumbled gently to the floor.

The man probably could have thrown it hard enough to crack a board.

Zoro yanked at the coat. The sash's knot stuck. He tore at it with his tiny child's fingers, suddenly sure the fabric was tightening around him. It wrapped around his chest, his throat, it was choking—

The knot came loose, and Zoro flung the sash away, leaving the coat in a heap on the floor as he ran back to the swords. He snatched up Wadō, suddenly desperate for comfort from the one thing in this place he truly recognized. With a thump, he fell to his knees, hugging the sword close to him.

He didn't know how long he sat there, crying and cuddling Wadō like it was a teddy bear. What finally brought him back to his surroundings was the whisper of a name curling through his mind.

_Kuina._

Had the sword told him, or had his broken, tattered memory managed to spit it out at last? Zoro didn't know, but he had a name for the promise-girl, and he was going to hold on to it with everything he had.

_Kuina._ "I'm sorry," he whispered into the silent room. "I won't forget you again."

Still hugging Wadō, Zoro picked himself up and tottered over to the sunken table. It was warmer here, and the low couches looked more comfortable than the floor. Wiping his eyes, he settled down.

At first, Zoro simply sat, but as his tears dried and the storm of emotion inside him settled, he began to slump sideways.

If anyone had looked into the room half an hour later, they would have seen a small green-haired boy, fast asleep, his legs dangling under the heated table, his arms wrapped around a white sword taller than he was.

* * *

He was cold. He was so, so cold. Where had the heated table gone? Zoro felt chilled to the bone, like his heart had frozen over. He couldn't focus. The man in front of him yapping about defying some king and death didn't help. The man wearing a long, thick, fur-lined winter coat—

"Hey, Usopp." Zoro's frozen face cracked in a smile. He'd just found a way to solve both problems at once. "I've seen that uniform before. Am I mistaken, or didn't we meet them at sea?" He didn't remember anything of the sort, but his mouth spoke the words as though it had a mind of its own, and Zoro was too cold to argue.

"Yeah, you're right, we did."

"Then they're not our friends, right? Right? They're the enemy, right?"

"They're the enemy, all right," Usopp said. "But what are you so worked up about?"

Zoro let his actions answer for him. He sprang forward, fist cracking across the man's face hard enough to draw blood and bringing the irritating stream of mocking, threats, and laughter to a halt. He ignored the gasps and exclamations that followed, too busy stripping the man of all his winter gear.

"Nice and warm!" Zoro declared as he hugged his new fur coat. It felt so good to not be cold anymore.

"You just wanted his clothes?" Usopp screeched at him. "You're nuts."

_Ahhh, being warm is the best._

"Kill him!" yelled the coat-donor's men, and charged.

Zoro looked up. "Oh? They never learn, do they?"

He had only borrowed swords, but they were more than enough. It hardly lasted long enough to be called a fight.

"What? It's over already?" So much for some light exercise to finish warming him up. "What a bunch of wimps!"

There was a sniff behind him. Zoro turned. Chopper, Nami, Sanji, Luffy, and Usopp were lined up behind him, crying.

"We can't help it!" they sobbed together, clutching the bars of a railing that hadn't been there a moment ago. "We miss Vivi!"

His new coat was gone. That didn't matter much, though, because the snow had disappeared along with it. It was sunny now, and warm, and the wooden deck of a ship rolled under him. That all seemed odd, for a moment, but all the noise and wailing quickly distracted him.

"Quit crying!" he yelled at them. "If you couldn't stand to leave her, you should have kidnapped her!" _Like you did to me._

Five shocked stares met his eyes as the ship rolled under him.

"What?" said Chopper. "Barbarian!"

"You're the worst," Nami told him.

"Marimo," spat Sanji.

"Three-Sword style," Luffy said, pouting.

"Wait, Luffy," Usopp said. "That's not an insult."

" _Four_ -Sword style, then," Luffy grumbled.

"How is that any better? Listen, you know what natto is, right? Even if you call natto rotten, it wouldn't—"

Zoro had had enough. He didn't even know what they were yelling at him for. "Fine! Cry as much as you want! But I won't allow any of you to go get him!"

He blinked. Hadn't they been talking about a girl?

"Huh? Why not?" Luffy wasn't crying anymore. They weren't on the ship anymore, either. They were indoors, somewhere that didn't look familiar.

Once again, his mouth was moving on its own, saying things he hadn't planned to say. And he felt—not angry, exactly, but like he would be soon, if the wrong choice was made. If Luffy bowed his head to someone he shouldn't. If someone who should apologize didn't.

First Chopper, then Nami, tried to protest, but Zoro's mouth had things to say, and they weren't going to stop it.

"Shut up!" he roared at them. "What Luffy and Usopp were thinking when they started arguing, who was right and who was wrong…that doesn't matter. When two men decide to have a duel, the outcome of that duel decides that argument. Usopp lost, and walked out on us on his own. Listen, all of you. This guy may be an idiot," and Zoro watched his hand move, knocking his sword against Luffy's head as the words kept coming, "but he's still our captain. We're better off without a crewmate who can't respect the captain when things get tough!"

He grabbed Luffy's cheek like it was a naughty dog's scruff and stretched it out. Oddly, the skin contact didn't burn at all. "If a captain stops demanding respect, his crew will fall apart without fail!" Zoro twisted the cheek harder. Luffy was glaring at him, but it was just a glare, not a lance of fire that made him want to shrivel up, and it was the easiest thing in the world to glare right back. "I don't care how much you screw around under normal circumstances, but if you humiliate yourself yet claim to be above me, the next one to leave this crew will be me!"

The world went fuzzy, like he had stepped through a staticky den-den mushi recording. When it came back, the people around him were out of place, like they'd all taken a step or two while he'd been distracted.

"—can just tell him all that after he's back!" Nami was saying.

Even though he'd only heard half of what she'd said, Zoro snapped, slamming the end of his sword against the floor. "Is leaving the crew such a simple matter?" he shouted.

"Well, if it's not simple," said a voice, "then why did you just leave the square as though you were escaping?"

"Don't be stupid," Zoro said, looking the giant mermaid in her very large eyes—because of course there was a giant mermaid; why wouldn't there be? And they were back on a ship again, though it wasn't the same ship as last time. "We already had to fight in that square like some kind of circus show. The last thing we want is to stick around and be treated like heroes. The thought of it makes me sick!"

"Is there something wrong with being a hero?" asked the giant mermaid.

"Let me lay it out for you," Zoro said. "The hero is the guy who shares his booze with others! I wanna drink all the booze! Besides, I'm going to the shore. I wanna go fishing."

"No way, shithead!" said the giant mermaid, who had somehow turned into Sanji—and gotten much smaller, thankfully—when Zoro hadn't been looking.

"Why not?" Zoro sneered at him. "And why the hell should I listen to you?"

"Do you think I'm walking with you because I want to? You'll just cause me more trouble if I let you keep wandering around the island, you lost Marimo! The others will be here soon, so just shut up and follow me back to the ship!"

"Tch." Zoro blew out a breath. "Hmph. How could No. 7 tell No. 1 what to do?"

"Why are you ranking us in order of our arrival?" Sanji demanded. "It's a miracle you got here first! Don't let it go to your head!"

"Sure, sorry…No. 7."

Sanji snapped. The part of Zoro that wasn't angry smirked in satisfaction. "That's it! I spent two years in hell training my legs! I'm gonna gut you like a fish!"

"Bring it on!" Zoro shot back, swords already drawn. "I'll cut you in—"

"Zoro!" Luffy's voice cut in. "Kin'emon!" He waved at them from behind a barred window.

"Luffy!" Zoro ran over to him. Sanji had disappeared, though someone new and much taller had taken his place and was making frantic shushing motions. "Don't shout, idiot!" Zoro shouted.

Again, his surroundings rippled into static, then reformed, leaving Zoro feeling half a step out of touch with the world in spite of the fact that no one seemed to have moved much during the interruption.

"—do you want, Zoro?" Luffy was asking brightly.

Never mind the staticky world. "Listen, you!" Zoro said sternly. "If you knew there was going to be a tournament like this, why the hell didn't you invite me along?"

Luffy chuckled. "Sorry, sorry!"

"You're here having fun while we're running all over town—"

"That is not the message we are here to deliver!" exclaimed the tall man. "Besides, he has already lost!"

Zoro whirled on him. "You sure? Luffy already lost once?"

The tall man had shrunk into Usopp, who nodded grimly. "Caesar was bragging that he suffocated him! He's made of gas, remember?! He can suck all the oxygen out of the air!"

"And we got put to sleep by those snowmen," Zoro growled. "That's no good! Being careless will get you killed in a heartbeat."

"Hey now, we're all alive, aren't we?" Usopp said, grinning.

"It's not funny!" said Zoro, spinning on his heel. "Hey, Luffy!"

Luffy looked down at him from a high catwalk. "Huh?"

Zoro sent him the best glare he could manage. "Get a grip! The New World starts from here!"

Luffy's eyes widened. Then a determined smile stretched his face. "Yeah, sorry! I won't let my guard down again!"

His words were immediately put to the test, as enemies flooded the catwalk. "It's Straw Hat!" one of them shouted. Luffy didn't hesitate, running straight at them. "Shoot him! Who knows what he'll do!"

Luffy stopped dead.

"Zoro!" Luffy stood beside him now, as the catwalk had disappeared. "Don't fight them, no matter what!"

The room, which had become much smaller, erupted in laughter.

Nami shouted at them to fight, sounding near tears, but he and Luffy just stood there, taking blows and verbal abuse from the bar full of pirates. It hurt, and Zoro wanted it to stop, but Luffy had told him not to fight, and so he wouldn't. It was important that he didn't.

Finally, the pirate's leader took a long drink, wiped his mouth, and stood. "Not only are they weak, they've got no pride. They won't get into a single fight, and yet…their heads are full of dreams. They're like worms."

His men shouted in agreement.

"I'm done here," the pirate said. "A weak-looking shorty worth thirty million…I wondered what kind of man he was. But this is more than a letdown, it's an embarrassment! I've never seen such cowards before."

"So you _don't_ know!" A new voice broke in gleefully. "There's a hundred million-berry bounty on his head now! And you, Pirate Hunter Zoro, you're worth sixty million!"

Zoro wobbled as the deck of a ship rolled under him. The pirate bully and his men were gone, and they were at sea, in what looked like the middle of a storm. They weren't the only ones stupid enough to do it, either—the man who'd yelled out their bounties was on a raft that barely qualified as a ship, and Zoro could see another ship, much bigger, out of the corner of his eye.

"It's true!" Usopp called to him, peering through a pair of binoculars. "There are new posters! Zoro, you have a bounty now!"

"What?" Sanji yelled, running over to Usopp. "Now hold on! What about me?! There's one for me, too, isn't there?!"

"Nope," Usopp said.

"Look closer!"

"Nope."

Zoro grinned proudly.

"I see! Your bounties went way up after the Alabasta incident!" Nami said. "A hundred million…"

Luffy threw his hands in the air, practically jumping in excitement. "Did you hear that? I'm worth a hundred million!"

"Only sixty million? How disappointing!" Zoro said, still grinning. His first bounty. He couldn't remember ever actually wanting to be a pirate, but this was surely something to celebrate.

"Stop celebrating!" Nami yelled at them, as though she'd heard his thoughts.

"Hey, you guys!" yelled a new voice from the second ship."Don't get distracted! It's coming! The Pacifista! Brace yourselves!"

"Pacifista?"

The storm was gone. The ships were gone. And Zoro hurt so much more than he had back in the bar.

A huge man stood in front of him. "Yes. My developer is the government's genius scientist, Dr. Vegapunk. He is the most brilliant man in the world. It's said his scientific knowledge is 500 years ahead of the rest of mankind."

"With a body like that, and a devil fruit power…" Zoro was having trouble breathing, but again, words came out, like he was just a puppet on strings. But puppets didn't feel, and Zoro did. All the pain, all the despair, every fading scrap of determination. He couldn't have said what had happened here if his life had depended on it, but every emotion was as real as if he'd lived through it himself. "I feel like hope is vanishing. As you can imagine, my body refuses to do as I tell it. Do you absolutely insist on taking Luffy's head?"

"That is the most I can compromise," said the man.

Zoro looked at Luffy. He was bloody, battered, and far, far too still. But in spite of his injuries, he looked peaceful, like he was sleeping in a bed instead of lying unconscious in a pile of rubble. It was like he knew he'd done what he needed to, and trusted that everything would be fine while he slept and recovered.

"All right. I'll give you a head," Zoro said. "However, in place of his…I would appreciate it if you took my life instead! My bounty isn't worth much yet, but I would have become the greatest swordsman in the world! This should be a fair trade."

He wasn't sure how much of his trembling was from his injuries and how much was from fear. What was he doing? He'd gone along with everything his body had wanted to do before, but this was serious. He was going to die!

_But I can't let Luffy die. No matter what it takes._

Any objections the small, confused, terrified part of him raised were quickly smothered. He _would_ save Luffy. It was already done. There was nothing else that mattered.

"Are you truly willing to give your life for that man, when you have such a great ambition?" asked the man.

"Right now, that's the only way to save my crewmates! My ambition means nothing if I can't protect my own captain." Zoro looked the huge man in the eyes, as fiercely as possible. "Luffy is the man who will become King of the Pirates!"

The big man stared at him, and for a moment it looked like he might say something. Then he flickered and dissolved into static as the world went fuzzy again.

Zoro's hand drew a sword and slammed the hilt to the side, and the world reformed as Sanji hissed a staticky curse and dropped, his hand sliding off Zoro's shoulder. Zoro reeled, the disorientation of the jump on top of everything else nearly enough to overcome him as well. But he had to stay upright. He had to stay awake. For Luffy.

He pulled his other two swords from his sash. "I'm begging you!" He tossed all three swords to the ground in front of the man.

For a long moment, the man just stared. Zoro shook. Sanji and Luffy lay on the ground like broken dolls.

The man sighed. "If I lay a hand on Straw Hat now, I will bring shame upon myself."

Zoro let out a breath. "I am in your debt."

The big man turned to Luffy, reached out a hand, and paused. "Trust me not to bring him harm. I am a man of my word." He plucked Luffy up, his hand easily large enough to wrap around Luffy's entire body. Luffy hung limply from his grasp, limbs dangling. "In exchange," the man said, straightening, "I will show you _hell_."

Zoro couldn't quite hold back a shiver.

The man lifted his free hand toward Luffy and _pushed_ , and an enormous, red-tinted bubble of…something ballooned out of Luffy. It hovered there, at least three times Zoro's height, and something about it made the hair on the back of Zoro's neck stand on end.

"What I repelled from his body just now was pain…and fatigue," the man said as he laid Luffy back on the ground. "This is all of the damage that he accumulated in his battle with Moria. If you wish to take his place, you must take all of his pain and suffering into yourself. It will be impossible for you to survive when you are already on the brink of death. You will die."

_But Luffy won't,_ Zoro thought, and tried to remember that as he stared at the bubble and trembled.

"Have a taste." The man dragged a hand through the bubble, flicking a tiny piece at Zoro.

Zoro watched it approach. He couldn't have moved even if he'd wanted to. Agonizingly slowly, and yet faster than he could blink, it sailed across and entered his chest.

Pain.

He hadn't known what that word meant before now. He'd already been injured, but now it was like his body was being forced to run through another whole fight in the span of a few seconds. He could _feel_ the invisible blows striking him, feel his skin and muscle tear as he inched closer to death.

He didn't hear himself scream. He didn't feel himself fall.

He didn't stay down. He couldn't. That had only been the beginning. And Luffy was counting on him.

At first, all he managed to do was flip himself over, so that at least he didn't have to try to breathe through a face full of rock. He lay there, gasping, hurting, gathering the strength to rise.

"How was it?" the man asked calmly, as though he'd just let Zoro try his new cookie recipe.

_Delicious,_ he would have said, if he'd had the strength left for sarcasm. But there was something much more important to say, and he wheezed, desperate for enough air to force the words out. He couldn't do this here. Couldn't let the others hear him scream, if they woke before it was done. Couldn't let the first thing Luffy saw be his body.

"Just let me…change the location."

The world went fuzzy again. Zoro would have welcomed it, if only the pain had gone with it. But there was too much to be wiped away so easily. If it dimmed at all, he couldn't tell.

When the static receded, he was standing, and he found himself grateful that he hadn't had to endure the process of getting up and moving wherever he was now. It couldn't be that far away, judging by the rubble, but he couldn't see Luffy or any of the others anymore.

He could see the bubble, though. It loomed in front of him, filling his vision, waiting for him to meet his fate. Zoro stared it down, gathering himself, allowing his body a few final breaths. Then he plunged forward.

His world went red.

* * *

Everything hurt.

His ears rang with screams, higher-pitched now but no less intense. His body ached with pain; real or imagined, he didn't know and it all hurt the same. Blood filled his mouth. If it came from a bitten tongue rather than his body tearing itself apart, he was unaware. It was dark, but his vision had dimmed anyway.

One flailing hand landed on a familiar hilt, and Zoro froze, his screams cutting off abruptly.

_Why—_

His swords shouldn't be here. He'd left them behind, with Luffy and the others. But there was no mistake; this was Wadō.

_How…_

The sword felt too big under his hand.

_No it doesn't!_

It did, and it didn't, and he hurt, and he'd never been so confused. He lurched forward, and his head slammed into something hard and solid. The table. The kotatsu he'd been sleeping next to. The distraction was enough to tear him loose from the clinging threads of his dream, but did nothing to calm the waves of pain and emotion rolling through him. Whimpering cries filled the air, and he clapped a hand over his mouth. Maybe it was already too late to stop someone from coming, but the Straw Hats—the _outsiders_ —were the last people he wanted to see right now.

Which was fine to tell himself, but his body didn't want to listen to him, and muffled sobs trickled out regardless.

" _I feel like hope is vanishing. As you can imagine, my body refuses to do as I tell it. Do you absolutely insist on taking Luffy's head?"_

No. It wasn't real. It _wasn't_. Even if he could still feel the pain.

" _All right. I'll give you a head. However, in place of his…I would appreciate it if you took my life instead!"_

"No!" It had been a dream, nothing more. He'd heard part of the story yesterday and his mind had filled in the blanks, that was all.

_Filled them in from where, though?_

Zoro shivered, the kotatsu doing absolutely nothing to chase away the chill that suddenly gripped him. The thought rose in his mind, unwanted, unwelcome, but too persistent to ignore:

_What if they're right about me? What if I saw those things because…because I'm…_

_No!_

He shook his head and leapt up from the kotatsu. That couldn't be, it couldn't, it was some kind of _trick_ —

He had to leave. Had to get out, now. If he stayed here, this would happen again, he could feel it in every inch of his aching bones. He had to get off this ship, away from these people, and maybe, _maybe_ , if he didn't see them again, he wouldn't have any more dreams like this. Maybe he could forget the things he'd seen. Maybe he wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

_You promised to stay._

"I don't _care_!" Zoro yelled, before slapping his hand back into place. Quiet, he had to stay quiet. He shoved away the part of him that twisted uncomfortably at the idea of breaking a promise, especially to Luffy. _They're pirates, they'll understand. And if they don't…well, what does it matter what they think?_

He looked down at Wadō. He reached for it, wrapping one hand around its sheath, and felt a little calmer. He wanted to take it with him. It was Kuina's sword, _his_ sword, and he didn't want to let it out of his sight. He wanted to take it and run until he was in a place where things made sense again.

But…

He looked back toward the row of lockers. Even in the dim light, he could make out the shape of the one that still stood open. There were two other swords in there. Two other swords that he didn't know, but Wadō did. They were a team. Separating them felt wrong, and while carrying one sword was manageable, escaping with three would be too risky.

And besides, _that man_ had had Wadō in the dream. Taking it would feel like accepting what he'd seen and he…he couldn't do that. Not here, alone in the dark, already dreading the next time he fell asleep. So there was only one thing to do. Slowly, reluctantly, he made his way to the locker and set Wadō next to its friends.

"I'm sorry," he said, before turning to go.

Zoro's hand was on the door when he stopped again. What if the outsiders were waiting out there? They hadn't come when he'd screamed, but that didn't mean they wouldn't catch him if he just strolled right out the front. Was there another way out?

There was. A ladder in the floor led down to another room. Zoro held his breath as he looked around, but there were no people here, only barrels and stacks of wood. He tip-toed forward, peering around every obstacle as he tried to figure out where to go from here.

The sky was beginning to lighten by the time Zoro stood shivering on the balcony at the back of the ship. Wind and sea spray cut through him, and he wrapped his arms around himself. The dock was too far away to jump to; he'd have to swim. He hoped it was still too dark for anyone to see him if they looked over the side of the ship. He hoped they wouldn't hear the splash when he hit the water.

Finding his way through the maze of the outsiders' ship would have qualified as a nightmare, if Zoro hadn't just woken from a hard lesson in what that word really meant. The worst part had been when he'd nearly stumbled into Usopp, asleep on a bench and surrounded by tools. He'd missed him by a hair and hadn't quite managed to swallow his yelp, but thankfully Usopp had just kept on snoring. Eventually, he'd found himself in a room full of fish, held behind a long, curving glass wall. He would have liked to watch them for a while, but the terror of his dream still lingered and his body thrummed with _get away, hurry, hurry,_ so he pressed on. One of the doors from the fish room had led him out to the balcony, and now he was almost free.

All he needed to do was take a dip in the dark, freezing cold ocean.

Zoro took a deep breath, braced himself, and jumped before he could change his mind. A wave smacked the side of the boat, drowning out the sound of a small body hitting the water.

Minutes later, Zoro was out and squelching away from the docks. He broke into a run as soon as he was sure the outsiders wouldn't hear his footsteps echoing on the wooden boards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remind me not to write any more fics with canon flashbacks, haha. I have way more trouble with them than I really should. ^^; I hope this one came out okay, at least!
> 
> Also! I drew a scene from this chapter, which you can find on my tumblr [here](https://azuregold.tumblr.com/post/631688520752398336/scene-from-chapter-7-of-my-fic-dissonant-echoes), if you'd like to see it. c:
> 
> See you next chapter (which should come a little faster than this one, but we shall see).


	8. Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented and/or left kudos! ^_^

**Day 6**

Zoro pressed his back against the weathered brick of the chimney and fought the urge to run.

He should be safe here. He was high up, too far away from the roof's edge to be seen from the ground, and he was sure no one had spotted him climbing the building. He'd picked his direction at random, and didn't recognize the area at all, so there was no reason anyone would think to look for him here. He should be safe. He should have plenty of time to figure out what his next move should be.

So why did he feel like a rabbit about to be pounced on by a hungry cat?

" _Found you!"_

Zoro gasped, leaping to his feet as a phantom grip tightened on his arm.

" _Whoa, Nami was right! Hey, Little Zoro, come back to the ship with me!"_

Luffy. The last time he'd been on a roof, Luffy had found him.

"Right," he mumbled, shaking off the memory and slumping against the chimney again. His choice of hiding place suddenly seemed like a terrible idea. He should move. If Luffy found him again, he'd…

He'd what?

One hand clenched at his side, and Zoro forced it to relax. He had no sword; he'd left them all on the ship. And even if he'd had one, could he really bring himself to hurt Luffy? Never mind how unlikely any attack would be to succeed—if he tried at all, he had to be prepared for the chance it would. And after seeing Luffy so badly hurt in that dream, after seeing, no, _feeling_ , what _that man_ (not him, never him, couldn't be him) had gone through to keep him safe…Zoro didn't know if he could do it. He didn't want Luffy near him, but he didn't want him hurt.

So his best option was to avoid the outsiders completely.

"Zoro."

"Aaaahh!" Zoro spun around, hands scrabbling at his swordless waist.

"I'm sorry." Sylvi raised her empty hands. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Zoro's hands dropped to hang at his sides. "What are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd check on you."

"Sorry. You brought me to that house and everything, but…I couldn't stay there."

"No, that's…okay." Her head tilted; like a bird, he thought. "You look upset."

"I—" Zoro looked away, his hands creeping up to hug his arms. "You were right. I should've—it's so much harder now. I should've stayed away from them, like you said."

Sylvi approached him with light footsteps and a sympathetic smile. "That's a lesson everyone here learns eventually. It's not your fault you're new at this."

"Is it true?" He wanted to grab the words and stuff them back inside.

"Is what true?"

But he also wanted to know. _Needed_ to know. "They think I'm one of them. They think _I'm_ the missing friend they're looking for, and that I used to be big like them. Is it true?" It was silly to expect Sylvi to know the answer, but there was no one else to ask.

Sylvi didn't answer right away. A small pile of loose bricks lay near the chimney, and she sprang onto it, balancing expertly on one foot while the other waved gently through the air. A bird flew overhead, a roll of paper stuffed into a bag around its neck, and she shaded her eyes with one hand to watch it pass. Zoro ignored it.

"That's something you'll need to decide for yourself."

Zoro folded his arms and glared. "That's not how it works! Either I am or I'm not, and if you know which it is, you better tell me!"

"Are you threatening me?" She spun on her brick, her smile now with a hint of amusement to it.

"Of course not!" Everything in him recoiled from the idea of hurting her. "But I need—"

"On this island, things like that aren't so set in stone."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sylvi hopped off the brick pile, landing silently on the roof. "You could be happy here, you know."

"Huh?"

"The people of this island always look ahead, without being weighed down by the past. No one is hungry, or cold, or alone, and it's up to you to decide what your life will be."

"I don't understand." Zoro growled and dug a hand through his hair. "You're no help at all!"

Sylvi's laughter was like tinkling bells. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you." She danced to a stop in front of him, the skirt of her dress swirling around her. "You're the only one who can make the decision, but in everything else, this island will give you whatever support you need. If you want the outsiders gone, they'll be gone."

"It's not that easy." He _knew_ — _don't think about_ how—that the outsiders were strong. Insanely strong. He tried to imagine them losing, and his mind went blank. The image just wouldn't come.

"You should have a little more faith in us, Zoro," Sylvi said. "You're one of us now, and we'll do anything to protect one of our own. We've had a lot of practice." She skipped back, jumping onto the edge of the roof. "Just think about it. And while you're thinking, you might want to move along. You haven't gone as far as you think; they'll find you soon if you stay here." She stepped back and dropped out of sight.

Zoro wasn't really surprised to see no sign of her when he peered over the edge half a minute later.

* * *

Chopper was hungry.

He didn't want to be. Zoro was missing, again, and in trouble, and that was much more important than food. He wasn't Luffy; he would stay focused on the mission for as long as he had to, whatever his stomach said.

He turned a corner, and the smell hit his nose.

Sugar. Chocolate. Cinnamon and fruit and caramel and…oh, he could see the shop window now. It was huge, glittering with tiny lights like a sea of stars, and the displays—! There were cakes and muffins and pies and cookies and chocolate sculptures and candy and maybe he should check inside, just for a minute, to make sure Zoro hadn't hidden in there. It wasn't the sort of place Zoro would normally be, but that might be exactly why he'd go there, to try to throw them off.

And if Chopper happened to get a few sweets to sample while he was there…well, he needed to keep his strength up. After a little sugar, he'd have the energy to look for Zoro for hours. He was a doctor; he knew these things.

The shop had a long line, but it moved quickly. Chopper handed over his money, happily took his slightly-bulging bag, and turned to leave.

Zoro was standing across the street, his nose pressed to the window of a sushi shop.

Somehow Chopper managed to get outside the bakery without either dropping his bag or knocking anyone over.

"Zoro!" He charged forward, not caring whether the street was clear or not. Thankfully, aside from the line at the bakery, there seemed to be a break in the traffic, so Chopper made it to the sushi shop without causing any accidents.

By which time Zoro was halfway down the street.

Chopper shoved the handles of his bag in his mouth, transformed into Walk Point, and took off. Normal Zoro was fast, and Kid Zoro could still have outrun a lot of adults, but even Zoro at his best couldn't beat a reindeer running full out.

"Zoro, wait!" Chopper called through his mouthful of bag once he'd caught up.

Panting, Zoro shook his head and pumped his legs harder. His speed didn't change much, and he was wobbling badly, nearly colliding with a building when he tried to turn a corner.

_He's tired. And hungry._ Zoro probably hadn't eaten anything since the night before, and who knew how much sleep he'd gotten.

"I have food!"

Zoro's steps faltered. He looked at Chopper, easily keeping pace with him, then the huge bakery bag. His shoulders slumped, and he dropped to a hesitant trot. "I don't like sweets."

"I know." Chopper switched back to Brain Point and held the bag out to him anyway. He wished he'd grabbed some of the savory pastries the bakery had been selling. "W-we could go get something else! Whatever you want! That sushi place looked pretty good, didn't it?"

"No." Zoro swiped a muffin that wasn't completely covered in sugar from the bag and slumped against the nearest building. "This is fine." He bit down and made a face.

"Are you sure? I don't mind at—"

"I said it's fine!" Zoro took another bite of the muffin.

Chopper gave in, leaning against the wall himself and digging a chocolate-covered cookie out of the bag.

"We were all really upset this morning, when we realized you were gone," Chopper told him.

Zoro flinched and looked away. "Yeah, sorry. I know I broke the deal."

"No!" Chopper swallowed his cookie with some difficulty, feeling tears prickling at the corners of his eyes again. "Not because of that. We were worried about you!"

"I never asked you to worry about me. I don't want you to, either." Zoro bit off a chunk of muffin like he was tearing at a piece of meat. "I can take care of myself."

"We can't help it," Chopper said.

"Because you think I'm your missing friend."

"Yes." No point in denying something they both knew was true. "But even if we didn't think that, we'd still be worried. We'd still want to help you if you were in trouble. You were only on Sunny for a day, but that's plenty of time to decide you like someone."

Zoro glared at him. "Well, I don't like you."

The words felt like an arrow to Chopper's heart. _He doesn't mean that,_ he told himself. _He just doesn't remember, that's all._

"And I don't know why you'd like me, either." Zoro's shoulders were hunched, and in spite of the scowl on his face, he looked suddenly vulnerable.

"Well, Luffy likes you. That would probably be enough to give you a chance all by itself, because he's almost never wrong when he decides someone's a good person. But I'm a doctor. Even if I didn't like you, I'd want to help, because it's my job to take care of people, even when they don't think they need it."

Zoro leaned back against the wall again, fiddling with his muffin.

Chopper smiled at him. "Our Zoro never thought he needed it," he said. "We argued about it all the time."

Zoro's fingers stilled on the muffin. His eyes were distant, staring at something Chopper couldn't see. Chopper was about to ask if everything was all right when his ears caught a barely-audible mumble.

"…they were restricting my movements."

Chopper squeaked, and the bakery bag slipped out of his grasp.

Zoro's head shot up. He stumbled away from Chopper, the remains of his muffin falling to the ground. "I-I—"

"No, wait, it's okay!" Chopper waved at him frantically, which only seemed to unnerve Zoro more. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"No." Zoro shook his head, backing away.

_Oh no._ He was losing him. He couldn't lose him! "Wait, Zoro, please, just listen—"

"No!" Zoro clapped his hands over his ears. "I don't want to hear any more! I don't want to see—" He whirled and ran.

"Zoro, wait!" Chopper tried to follow, but the streets were filling with people again, and already Zoro's slight form was getting hard to spot in the crowd. Especially when Chopper was so short himself.

…He was still in Brain Point. _Why_ was he chasing him in Brain Point?

Chopper transformed immediately, but between Zoro's headstart and the increase in people, it was too little, too late. Chopper scoured the streets around the bakery for over an hour, but Zoro was nowhere to be seen. He'd lost him.

* * *

His surroundings flashed by in a green blur. His side ached and it was getting hard to breathe, but Zoro kept running. He had to keep running. He had thought he'd run far enough before, but Chopper had still found him. The outsiders were more determined than he'd ever thought they'd be.

_No. If it's for a friend, they have more determination than anyone in the world._

Zoro shook his head. No. He didn't know that. He didn't know that because he didn't know _them_ , because it wasn't true, he wasn't… If he could just go somewhere they couldn't find him, then it wouldn't be true. The visions would stop. They had to.

He stumbled, hands flying out to catch himself on the cobbled street. Street? Hadn't he been in the woods? He'd barely been aware of leaving the town, but there had definitely been trees at some point. There weren't any now, though—he was definitely in a town. Looking around, Zoro didn't recognize anything. He hoped this was a different town, at least, hoped he hadn't just exhausted himself running in a big circle.

His ears pricked as he caught the babble of excited voices in the distance, and Zoro looked up. Worry twisted his stomach as he saw the huge crowd gathered at the far end of the street. Was it the outsiders? Had they followed him here already? Heaving himself to shaky legs, Zoro considered his options. Should he run away from the crowd, or try to lose himself in it?

He was too tired to run. Zoro staggered down the street, his eyes fixed on the people ahead. He could rest after he got there. He wouldn't need long. If they could just hide him for a little while, then he'd be good to run again, or fight, or…or whatever he needed to do. He'd figure it out later.

The good news was that he didn't see a single outsider. Still, the crowd didn't bring the comfort Zoro had hoped for. There were lots of people, yes, but they were grown-up people. Hardly anyone was younger than the youngest of the outsiders, and Zoro seemed to be the only kid here by himself. He tried to brush off the feeling of being watched.

Actually…there weren't a lot of really old people, either. It was hard to tell with adults, but he thought very few were even as old as Boran, and he saw just one woman with fully-gray hair.

Zoro shuffled through the crowd. It wasn't hard; in spite of how many people there were, they stayed bunched together in small groups, with more than enough space for a kid to wander between them.

His foot caught an uneven bit of stone and he crashed to the ground again, still too tired to catch his balance in time.

"Oh dear, are you all right?"

A hand wrapped around Zoro's arm, hauling him to his feet, and he looked to meet the eyes of an unfamiliar blonde woman. She was trying hard to keep a concerned look on her face, but her cheeks were flushed and she was practically bouncing in place as she brushed him off.

"'M fine," he mumbled.

"Is it your first time here?" she asked him. "It's unusual for children to come to see the lottery. Are you hoping to be a big brother?"

Zoro gaped at her. "A…what? Lott…ery?"

Her brow furrowed. "You know, the _lottery_."

"What're you talking about?"

"How can you not know about the baby lottery? Even if you don't remember it yourself, shouldn't your caretaker have explained it?"

His _what_? Zoro felt his brows tug together in a scowl. He didn't need anyone to take care of him. He was plenty old enough to look after himself.

"Oh, wait, I get it!" the woman said, looking critically at Zoro. "Yes, from the look of you, your Renewal must have been very recent, right? Maybe they just haven't got to that bit yet. After all, you won't really _need_ to know about all that for at least another ten years. That makes sense!" She turned away from Zoro to face the center of the crowd, bouncing on the balls of her feet a little.

" _What_ makes sense?" Zoro had had about enough of adults pushing him around. "What lottery?"

"Oh—well, I mean…" The woman looked around. "All right, I'll try to explain things quickly. So, obviously we can't have too many babies born here, because of Renewal. You at least know what Renewal is, don't you?"

He'd never heard of it before in his life. "I—"

A shout went up from the center of the crowd, and the woman jerked away from him, startled. "Oh no—They're starting already, and I haven't even found Neven yet!" The crowd drew in on itself, gaps shrinking as people pressed forward.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," the woman told Zoro as she moved to join them. "I can't miss this chance; I've been trying for five years already." Her eyes shone as she threw him a parting look over her shoulder. "I want a baby of my own more than anything. Maybe you'll understand someday." She hurried off, and Zoro was left hovering near the edge of the crowd.

There was a curb nearby; Zoro squeezed past a few more people and sank down onto it gratefully. He'd regained most of his breath, but his legs still felt wrung-out and shaky.

" _We will now begin the drawing,"_ boomed an amplified voice from the center of the crowd. _"There are seven slots available this year. Please listen carefully, and remember: no violence or harassment will be tolerated. Those who cannot abide by the rules will have their lottery privileges revoked for up to three years, with stronger sentences possible for more serious violations."_

The crowd fell silent, and after a moment, the voice read out what sounded like a pair of names. A wild cheer erupted from the far side of the crowd, and Zoro saw a hat fly into the air.

" _Number sixteen, Simon and Soraya!"_ the voice called a minute later, and a couple near Zoro leapt into each other's arms, shrieking. The man lifted the woman up and spun her in a circle, and the moment her feet touched the ground, she tightened her grip and did the same to him. They finished with a kiss, then began weaving through the crowd toward the voice, their hands still clasped tightly together.

The people around them weren't so happy. No one spoke, or tried to stop them, but the most pleasant expression Zoro could find was a wistful smile. Glares were far more common, and more than a few faces had fallen like an underdone cake. Zoro spotted one couple hugging like each was all that was keeping the other standing.

For the first time, Zoro noticed how many couples were in the crowd. There were occasional groups of three or more, but the vast majority were couples, and no one else seemed to be on their own like he was. Another thing that set him apart. He stuck out like blood on white cloth here; only the fact that everyone was so much taller than he was, blocking him from the view of anyone outside, kept him from ditching the crowd and looking for another place to hide. Well, that and his legs, which were of the firm opinion that they had not rested nearly enough yet and would consider mutiny if he tried to press the issue.

The voice continued calling out names, and each time the crowd rippled with tension. Zoro could practically hear their thoughts. _It'll be us this time, I know it! It's gotta be!_ as the voice paused before announcing the next set of names. _No! Damn it, it's supposed to be us!_ as the voice read out names that belonged to someone else, and _Lucky bastards_ as the chosen couple celebrated loud enough for the whole street to hear. Then the pause, just long enough to rebuild hope, and it would happen all over again.

Five sets of names passed, and the mood of the crowd dipped. Zoro heard muttered prayers, and anyone who wasn't speaking didn't seem to be breathing at all. After the sixth names, an air of bleak resignation crept in. _It's not going to happen. It won't be us. Should have known. Look how many people are here; there's no way we'd be chosen._

_And finally, number thiry-six, Elodie and Hunter!"_ said the voice. _"Congratulations to our winners, and I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing you all the best. For those not chosen, thank you for your restraint and understanding, and I encourage you to reapply next year."_ The sound of a throat being cleared echoed through the air. _"And if you don't wish to wait that long, I urge you to consider adoption. However excellent our care houses are, I'm sure we all know how much new Renewals can benefit from more individual love and attention, and I can see how much of that everyone here has to give. Thank you all for coming."_

The crowd turned from the voice. Quickly or slowly, with dark looks or wet faces or weary sighs, they all went.

"Maybe we should," Zoro heard one man murmur to his partner. "Adopt, I mean."

"I don't know." The woman bit her lip. "They're already so old. It wouldn't be the same."

"No. I know. But we've always wanted more than one child, haven't we? And it would give our baby an older sibling, when we win next year."

She managed a hesitant smile. "You really think we'll win next year?"

The man grinned at her and took her hand, pulling her forward. "Definitely."

"I'll think about it." She slipped her arm through his. "At least it would give me someone to talk to besides you."

"Hey, what's wrong with talking to me?"

They were far enough away now that Zoro didn't hear her reply clearly, and when he glanced around, the street was nearly deserted. The crowd had melted away like icicles in summer, and the feeling someone was watching him had returned, stronger than ever. But surely the Straw—the outsiders weren't here. They were too loud and chaotic to stay hidden for long. Even so, he couldn't stay here. He was far too exposed. He needed more people, or maybe less people, or—somewhere that wasn't here. He stood; his legs wobbled but held, and Zoro trotted off, shivering in the afternoon sunshine.

Where had everyone gone? He could see a few people in the shops, but not enough to blend in with, and almost no one was walking around outside. Zoro's steps quickened with every wide open street he passed, until he was running, or as close to it as he could currently manage. He had to get out of the open. He had to—

Lights and music brought him skidding to a halt. For one wild moment he thought it was the outsiders and his heart lurched in his chest, but then he looked up and saw a bright sign reading _The Glass Goat_.

A bar. It was the noisiest, most crowded place he could remember seeing, and it was a bar, and Zoro's knees nearly gave out at the sense of relief and comfort the sight brought him. His stomach growled loudly, and he swiped a dry tongue across his lips. There was food here, and things to drink, and enough people to hide him. And it felt like home. Not as much as the ship had ( _don't think about that!_ ) but enough that he'd stumbled to the door and pushed his way inside before he'd fully decided to do it.

"Whoa now, hold on there, kid."

Zoro froze, clutching the edge of an empty bar stool. He looked up. A man was leaning over the counter. He smiled at Zoro, teeth shining like stars against his dark brown skin.

"Now, I can understand if you're a little confused, but it'll be a while before you can order in here again. Whatever you might remember, right now you've got a growing body, and not much of what we serve here is going to be any good for that."

Zoro blinked at him. "I…did I come here before?" He couldn't remember being in any bar before, much less this one, but he did feel awfully comfortable for a first time visit. Or maybe he was just tired.

"Probably not here—and I don't recognize you, either—but someplace like it, maybe. I like to think all the good bars are related somehow, like one big family." The bartender tilted his head at Zoro. "In any case—whoa there, you okay, kid?" His hand shot out, wrapping around Zoro's arm.

The world righted itself, and Zoro realized _he'd_ been the one slipping sideways, his grip on the stool the only thing keeping him from face-planting on the dusty floor. He rubbed at his eyes. "I—"

"Oh, all right, kid. You go ahead and sit down, and I'll get you a drink. Need a hand up?"

"I can do it!" He was tired, not helpless. He didn't need to be _lifted_ onto a stool that was shorter than him. Not by much, but it was. "But you said I couldn't order."

"Not the hard stuff, you can't, but I can at least get you some water and let you sit a bit." The bartender smiled at Zoro and turned to grab a glass.

It took longer than Zoro liked to make it onto the stool. His legs had reverted to jelly again, unwilling to hop enough to get him to the seat, and in the end his arms did most of the work. He slumped forward, laying his head on the bar counter, and waited for his water.

His eyes wandered to the rows of glass bottles on the wall. There was one bottle, just over the bartender's head, its contents a rich, deep amber that made Zoro gulp in longing. It would taste so good right now, the perfect thing to relax with after the day he'd had…

How did he know what it would taste like? How did he know he even liked alcohol to begin with?

_A large barrel plunked down in front of him. Luffy grinning. "Hey, Zoro! Look what I found! It's for you!"_

Zoro gasped and shot upright, nearly tipping the stool over. _No, no, no, no! Don't think about it! It's not real!_ He wrenched his gaze from the bottles, the sight suddenly making him sick. The comforting feel of the bar was gone, and Zoro was wide awake and twitching with the need to get out. What if the Straw—the outsiders came looking for him here? If _their_ Zoro liked bars, they'd probably check here eventually, right?

He swallowed. His throat felt ten times drier than it had a minute ago. Did he dare wait for his water first? It couldn't be that much longer, could it? He could stay another minute or two, long enough to drain the glass, and then—

A hand landed on his shoulder.

Zoro yelped and jerked away, his grip on the counter the only thing keeping him from falling off his stool. He looked up, ready to punch the pirate in the face and do his best to run, even if they'd catch him in no time.

The lack of twisting horror in his gut should have been his first clue, but it still took him a long moment to register that the man standing behind him wasn't one of the outsiders. He was familiar, though, and after a few more seconds of mental fumbling, the name finally clicked.

Boran had found him.

Oddly, the realization didn't bring much relief. It was too early to relax. Zoro had run away from Boran two days ago, after all. What if he was mad about that? What if he'd run into the outsiders and they'd convinced him to help find Zoro? He should leave, now, before—

"There you are, Zoro." Boran didn't sound mad. In fact—was that a smile? "I've been worried about you."

Zoro looked down at the bar counter, digging a finger into a crack in the boards. "You didn't need to. I can take care of myself." The hand on his shoulder was firm but comforting. He wanted to throw it off.

"Maybe so." Boran ruffled Zoro's hair, then dropped onto the stool next to him. "But you shouldn't have to. The world can be a dangerous place for kids like you, and there's nothing wrong with having a little help."

Zoro's throat was tight. The reassurance and support was hard to resist. It made him want to pour out all his fears about the outsiders, apologize for ever leaving, and ask Boran if he could come back. And yet…something in him resented being treated like a little kid. Even at their most careful, the Straw Hats had never quite managed to sound like adults talking to a child. They'd tried, but they thought he was their friend, their _grown-up_ friend, and that came through in their words, the way they looked at him, the way none of them had ever ruffled his hair like Boran just had. He hadn't realized it at the time, but part of him had liked that. He almost missed it.

Just not enough to go back.

"You two know each other?" The bartender had finally returned, and set not just a glass of water in front of Zoro, but a plate piled with round crispy things that smelled like cheese.

"He's staying with me," Boran said. "We got separated for a bit. I appreciate you looking after him."

"Couldn't do much else when a kid comes in here too tired to walk straight. Glad he's got a place to stay. Maybe try to keep a better eye on him next time. I know that's easier said than done, with most kids, but that's the job you signed up for, isn't it?"

Boran's laugh sounded a bit forced. "I suppose it is."

Zoro looked down at the food. "I didn't ask for this." His stomach growled.

"Maybe not, but I hope you're gonna eat it. It's never good to let food go to waste."

Zoro's hands tightened on the counter. For a moment, the bartender's voice had sounded like someone else's, and he quickly shook the thought away before his traitorous not-memories could tell him whose.

He snatched one of the crispy things off the plate, nearly dropping it again when molten cheese oozed onto his fingers. "I'll eat it!"

"I'm a bit hungry myself." Boran looked at the bartender. "Why don't you bring us a couple of meat pies, and I'll also have some of whatever ale you've got on tap today."

Zoro bit into the crispy thing. The outside was some kind of potato, fluffy under the crispy shell and absolutely delicious stuffed with the gooey cheese. "What are you doing here, anyway?" he asked Boran once he'd polished off two of them and reached for a third. "This isn't the town you live in, is it? Were you looking for me?"

"Nope, this was just a fortunate coincidence," Boran told him. "I supply eggs and produce to a few places in this town, including this bar. Today happened to be one of my delivery days."

Zoro wasn't sure he'd agree it was fortunate. He'd left for a reason, after all.

"Listen, Zoro…I'd like to apologize." Boran turned on his stool to face him. "It's my job to look after kids like you, and I've been doing it a long time, so I tend to think I always know the best way to handle things. But nothing is one-size-fits-all, is it? I'm not sure what it was, but I must have done something wrong if you felt so unwelcome you needed to leave, and I'm sorry for that."

"No!" Zoro quickly swallowed a mouthful of food. "You didn't! That's not why I left."

"Mind if I ask why you did, then? It's not good for kids to be wandering around on their own, even on this island."

Zoro looked down at his plate. "I…didn't want to cause any trouble."

"Were the chores too much for you?"

"Of course not!" The idea would have made him laugh if it wasn't so insulting. "I could have done ten times that much. No, a hundred!"

The bartender returned not long after Zoro had finished the plate of cheesy potato things, setting down two steaming golden pies, as well as a huge frosty mug of beer that Zoro stared at for a long, thirsty moment before wrenching his gaze back to his food. The pie was hot enough to burn his mouth and fingers, but it tasted amazing, and even after his appetizer, Zoro was still so hungry that he could barely get the food to his mouth fast enough.

"Looks like you've had a hard time the past few days," Boran said after a few minutes. He was digging into his pie with a fork, lifting out neat bites and blowing on them. It seemed like such a slow way of eating. A little pain was worth not having to wait.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Zoro said through a mouthful of crust.

Boran frowned. "You know, you can tell me if anyone gave you trouble. Most people on this island would know better than to harm a kid, but there're always a few bad apples around." He took a long sip from his beer. "Especially right now—I've heard there are some dangerous outsiders on the island at the moment. Best to keep your head low. You didn't run into any of them, did you?"

Zoro choked on a carrot chunk. "N-no," he spluttered as soon as he could speak again. "I mean, I heard about them, but I—I didn't meet them." The lie went down as hard as the vegetable, but he didn't want to talk about the Straw Hats, wouldn't— _couldn't_ —tell Boran how scared and bad and _small_ they made him feel. He especially didn't want to talk about the things he'd seen, or the _other_ things the Straw Hats made him feel.

Boran set down his fork. "There's nothing wrong with being scared. But if you've seen them, or talked to them—heck, if they might've seen you, even at a distance, you should tell me. Outsiders are nothing to mess around with. Please, Zoro. If you told them anything—"

"I didn't tell them anything! Because I didn't see them! I don't even _know_ anything to tell them!" There were only a few bites of pie left, but Zoro pushed the plate away, suddenly feeling sick.

Boran sighed, holding up his hands. "All right, all right. I apologize for being hard on you. This island's had a history of bad experiences with outsiders, especially when it comes to the kids, so most of us tend to worry a bit more than we strictly need to. I'm glad everything's okay."

Zoro nodded wordlessly. It didn't feel like anything was okay.

Boran drained his mug. "Now then, this was my last delivery in this town, so it's time I headed home. I'd like you to come with me."

"I don't need _looking after_."

"Everyone could use some help now and then. And my beds are a lot more comfortable than a rooftop or a tree branch or wherever you were planning on sleeping tonight."

Those sounded like perfectly fine places to sleep to Zoro. But he did like beds, too…

"And if you're hungry again later, I believe we're having chowder tonight, though we can find something else if that doesn't suit you."

The thought of food was less appealing than it would have been five minutes ago, but Zoro knew that would change later. And dinner sounded a lot better than whatever scraps he might find wandering around on his own. He hadn't had much luck with that earlier, which had gotten him caught by the talking deer.

"…The outsiders are in that town, aren't they? Wouldn't it be better if I stayed away?"

"Now, don't worry about that. Like I said, I've been doing this for a long time. I know how to handle outsiders."

Zoro twisted his stool from side to side, feet thumping against the bar. He wanted to go with Boran. He wanted to run out the door and find a place where no one knew him at all. Worst of all, a tiny part of him wanted to go back to the other town, not with Boran, but to find the docks and see the Straw Hats again, see the ship that had felt like home. He squashed that part as hard as he could, but the embers refused to die entirely.

"Please, Zoro. I can't possibly just leave you alone now."

Going back to the other town with Boran would also bring him closer to the Straw Hats. That wasn't a good thing, but the tiny flicker in his chest roared its approval, and the part of Zoro that wanted to leave everything behind was overruled.

"…Okay."


	9. Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is news: some good, some not so much, some printed on old paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented and/or left kudos!

**Day 6**

"You look awfully relaxed for people who still have a friend to find."

Robin looked up from her cup of tea. "And you seem to spend a great deal of time walking around town for someone who runs an entire library alone."

The librarian raised an eyebrow. "Who said I was the only one working there? Or that I'm not working just because I'm out here? The library provides news as well as stories, you know. I need to keep up with what's happening on the island…and elsewhere."

Sanji raised his cup. "We'll keep looking until we've found our friend, no matter how long it takes. But taking care of our bodies is important, too. We won't be doing him any favors if we collapse because we pushed ourselves too hard."

Robin suspected Sanji would have kept looking much longer without a break if he hadn't happened to run into her right outside this café. He wasn't wrong, though, which was why she'd allowed him to lead her to one of the little outdoor tables and order them food and drinks.

"That's wise, and true enough," the librarian said. "But I wouldn't count on having the luxury of searching as long as you like."

"Are you talking about the creatures that drove off that pirate crew? We have no intention of harming anyone, but we won't allow anyone to send us away before we've found Zoro." Robin met the librarian's eyes. "And while the creatures are formidable, they won't be enough to stop us, if it comes to that."

The librarian regarded her for a long moment. Then she nodded, and her demeanor shifted. She leaned in toward their table, her shoulders curved as though to block out prying eyes and a secretive smile tugging at her lips. She laid a hand on Robin's arm, looking for all the world like somebody's dear old aunt settling in for a good gossip.

"You know, I've just remembered. You didn't find any books when you visited the other day, but I came across one I think would be perfect for you, if you gave it a chance. Why don't the two of you come with me to the library, and I'll see if I can find it again."

Robin exchanged a glance with Sanji. "I appreciate the thought, but we should really be getting back to looking for our friend. As you pointed out, the sooner we can find him, the better it will be for everyone."

"Oh, it won't take long. And it's really quite an interesting book—I'm sure you'll find it well worth the time spent."

Robin couldn't tell if the librarian was a good actor or not. Her performance was flawless, but the shift had been too abrupt; anyone would have known something was going on. Including them—and given the timing, this had to be related to their search for Zoro in some way. The detour might be worth it, or they might just be wasting more time—or worse, walking into a trap. It was a question that could only be answered with a gamble.

She looked at Sanji again, saw he'd come to the same decision, and turned to the librarian. "All right, then. I could use some new reading material."

* * *

"What are you doing back here?"

Zoro scowled, drawing himself up as tall as he could, which still left him short of Melwyn's waist.

Boran had gone to check on something in the kitchen, and Melwyn had wasted no time in cornering Zoro, dragging him around the corner to the foot of the stairs.

"Waiting for dinner."

"Don't play with me, you know what I mean. Why did you come back? I _told_ you, you shouldn't be here."

Zoro crossed his arms defensively. "Boran wants me here."

"He wants a lot of things that aren't good for him."

"I didn't do anything to him!"

"It's not about what you _did_ , it's— Ugh, I thought you understood. I thought you were smart enough to know you should stay away. Guess that makes us both idiots."

"I'm not stupid!"

"You're lucky, is what you are. You know, I wish the outsiders _had_ caught you, then I wouldn't have to deal with this mess."

"Well, they did!" He hadn't meant to say that. But he was so tired of being seen as a problem, something to be fixed or tolerated or cleaned up after just because he existed. "But guess what? I got away all on my own, so I don't need your help. Just leave me alone!"

"Oh, you need help, all right—" Melwyn snapped his mouth shut and straightened.

"Melwyn," Boran said calmly, "why don't you go out to the garden and see if any of the tomatoes are ripe enough to use tonight? I saw a few earlier that looked like they might be almost ready."

Melwyn bit his lip and glanced at Zoro, then nodded. He skirted around Boran as though the man was an unstable bomb, and was gone.

"You said they didn't see you." Boran's tone was casual, but it was the sort of false calm a lion showed just before it sprang.

"So? I got away."

Boran frowned. "Zoro—"

"I got away, and they're not going to catch me again, so it doesn't matter!"

"It _does_ matter. Zoro, you need to—"

"No!" He was even more dwarfed by Boran than he had been by Melwyn, but Zoro planted his feet and glared like he was nine feet tall. "I'll leave if you don't want me here anymore, but I don't have to tell you anything, and I don't want to talk about them!"

Boran held up a hand. "No, no, there's no need for that. I'm sorry for pushing you. Again. I'm just a worrier, I suppose. I'm not sure why you felt you had to lie to me, but we can let all that go for now. Why don't you go on upstairs and rest for a while? You still look a bit shaky."

* * *

Half an hour later, Robin was beginning to doubt their decision.

The library had been only a few minutes walk, but once they'd arrived, the librarian seemed in no hurry. She'd walked up and down aisles and peered carefully into reading alcoves, muttering all the while about where she'd seen the book last. She'd left them standing at the front desk while she went to look in the staff rooms, and had kept them waiting long enough that they had just made up their minds to leave when she suddenly popped up again.

"I just can't think where it could have gotten to. Did anyone else come in while I was back there?"

"No. You locked the door, remember?" Which had been more than a little concerning, no matter her excuse of not wanting anyone to interrupt them and make things take longer.

"Look," Sanji told her. "Maybe we should come back later. You can take all the time you need to find it, and we'll stop by again after we've found—"

"No, no, I'm sure it's—Oh!" The librarian snapped her fingers. "I've just remembered where it is. I put it out of the way so no one else would find it and then I forgot. How silly of me. Come with me, it'll be faster."

Robin's neck prickled. That timing had been far too convenient. The librarian had likely known where the book was the entire time, if there was even a book at all. Still, if there was any chance this had something to do with Zoro, they couldn't just walk away now.

The librarian led them to a door near the back of the building, which opened into a room barely big enough to be called a broom closet. Three people would have been a tight squeeze even without the sparsely populated bookshelves lining the walls, but the librarian marched in and gestured for them to follow.

"And make sure you close the door behind you, please."

Robin exchanged another glance with Sanji. "Why not just bring the book out here? I'm sure it would be more comfortable."

"Oh, it would be no good at all out there, believe me. Come on, inside."

"You're asking for quite a bit of trust for someone we barely know. At least tell us a little about this book. Why is it so important we see it now?" Only the fact that the librarian hadn't asked them to enter the closet ahead of her held Robin back from declaring the whole thing a trap.

"Hmm…I suppose you could say it's a fairy tale of sorts," the librarian said. "It's an intriguing story, one you won't have the chance to read anywhere else, and it should give you something else to think about while you're looking for your friend. You look a bit stressed, if you don't mind me saying so." Her tone was cheery, but her face was dead serious as she looked at them and beckoned again. "You'll be glad you read it, trust me."

Trap or not, this was the closest thing they'd found to a lead. They couldn't throw it away. Robin and Sanji piled into the room. It was hot and dark with the door closed.

"Which book is it?" Robin reached out to touch one at random. It lay flat on the shelf, not enough books around it to stay upright.

"One moment." A few soft thuds followed. "It should be right…around…ah!" A more solid clunk. "Here we are. Hold out your hands, please."

Robin did as instructed and felt herself pulled forward into space that hadn't been there a moment ago.

"Hold still." Something clunked again. A flare of light came a moment later.

The room they stood in now was at least four times the size of the closet, but was so packed with loaded bookshelves that it felt, if anything, smaller. A tiny desk had been jammed into one corner, and a small table and a few chairs took up most of the center of the room.

"I apologize for all that nonsense," the librarian said. "I had to make sure no one would see me bringing you in here." She reached out and rapped against the wall, making a dull, hollow-sounding thud. "These walls are six inches of solid plastic and foam, so we can talk freely here, though I'd advise against shouting all the same."

"What does a library need with a soundproofed room? Where is 'here', exactly?" Robin asked.

The smile the librarian gave her was nothing like the cheerful nosy neighbor smile she'd worn a few minutes ago. "The library's history section, naturally."

"The one that doesn't exist?"

"It doesn't, officially. Especially not to outsiders." The librarian sat down in one of the chairs, and gestured them to the others.

"Then why bring us here?" Robin asked, as she and Sanji took seats.

"Because I've been catching up on my reading this morning." The librarian pulled out a stack of newspapers and magazines and set them on the table. "Despite what you may think, we aren't wholly ignorant of the wider world. This is your group, isn't it?"

Robin leaned forward, instantly spotting Luffy's face grinning up from the newspaper's front page. "Yes." She shuffled through the papers. Some were recent, some older, and all had articles featuring the Straw Hats. There were speculations about Alabasta, theories about Marineford, a photo of the destruction of Enies Lobby. There were copies of all their bounty posters, and near the bottom of the stack, Robin found the paper proclaiming Luffy as a fifth emperor.

"I wrote to one of my sources, as soon as I suspected your visit wasn't going to be routine," the librarian said. "As you can see, there was no shortage of information."

"And does knowing who we are change things?"

"It tells me you're trouble. I'm not saying you'd win, mind, but it'd cost us, and I've concluded that letting you proceed in ignorance would cause more harm than revealing some of our secrets."

"Secrets like what happened to Zoro, I assume," Robin said.

"Of course. I wouldn't be telling you, otherwise. And there's one thing I want to make clear from the start." The librarian fixed them with a piercing glare. "I'm telling you this so you can help your friend and leave as soon as possible." She tapped the stack of papers. "I've seen what happens to the places you've been. Destruction, revolution, upheaval. Maybe for the better, I can't say, but you tend to leave countries very different than you found them.

"Do not do that here. I won't have you destroying our way of life. It's a strange life, and tragic in its way, but it's ours, and any changes must come from us, in our own time, not from angry outsiders seeking revenge. However upset you are once you know the truth, you need to know where to draw the line. Promise me."

Robin regarded her for a moment. This was something Luffy should decide, not her. But if they left to get him, there was no guarantee the librarian would still be willing to talk later, or that something else wouldn't happen. Luffy wanted to get Zoro back, no matter what. Promising not to destroy an island was far from the worst thing the Straw Hat Pirates had done to save a friend in the past. She knew that firsthand.

She looked at Sanji, who nodded at her, one side of his mouth quirked in a wry smile. "All right. We won't do anything more than necessary to get our friend back." Hopefully, that wouldn't include destroying the island.

Sanji murmured his agreement.

"I'll hold you to that." The oppressive mood in the room lightened a degree. "Now then, you were curious about the soundproofing."

Sanji gave the librarian an impatient look. "Come on, is that really the most important—"

"It's as good a place as any to start," the librarian said briskly. "We've tried a lot of things over the years to keep the information here safe. One of the earliest attempts had the books hanging from the ceiling by rope nets. That didn't work so well, and it's only because they weren't all kept in one place that there are any left from that time. We've tried hiding them on one of the outlying rocks, off the island proper, but that was still close enough for it to reach, so we lost most of that archive, too. Using stone or wood or soil would have been too dangerous, too easy. Later, we made metal walls, which were better, but it wasn't until strong plastic like this came along that this room could truly be described as secure. It can't affect plastic at all, you see, so everything in this room is a blind spot for it.

"We've been very careful for a long time. And in spite of the setbacks, we're proud of how much of our history we've managed to preserve."

"How can this place stay a secret if the whole town is coming in here to read?" Sanji's brow furrowed. "And what's this 'it' you're talking about?"

"Oh, most of the island has no idea this exists," the librarian said. "When I say 'we', I mean the historians. Or renegades, if you prefer. On this island, the two might as well be synonymous."

"I've asked you this before, and I hope you'll give me an answer this time," Robin said. "Why is the past something that needs to be hidden here? Why are you treating your history like it's forbidden knowledge?"

"Because this island is a delicate ecosystem, and it's in that system's best interest that detailed records of history remain unknown to most people."

"I don't understand."

"Then I'll go back to the beginning, to the time this island was first settled centuries ago. I did promise you a fairy tale, after all.

"On first glance, the island appeared uninhabited. And it's true enough that there were no humans here before we came, nor fishmen or mermaids or anything of that sort. But if you took that to mean there was nothing beyond simple plants and animals, well, you'd be wrong.

"We don't know what it is or where it came from—if we ever knew, that secret's been lost to time—but it's been here much longer than we have. It was asleep at first, we think, but it woke soon after we arrived, and had things gone differently, that could have been the end of us right there. You saw what it did to those pirates; if would have had no difficulty in wiping out a group of peaceful settlers."

"Those creatures—they were the work of this…being?" Robin asked.

The librarian nodded. "It can control anything and everything natural on the island, some more easily than others. Rock, plants, and earth are child's play for it, while things that have been altered by humans, such as metal or glass, require some effort. Regular humans are no threat to it—I'm still not convinced even you folk would win, though I'm sure you wouldn't lose easily.

"Fortunately—depending on how you look at it—humans have something it needs, something it couldn't get if it destroyed them, so the settlers were able to make a deal. To allow them to live, and even stay on the island."

"And what did it want from them?" Robin asked.

The librarian cleared her throat. "Human life."

Robin stiffened.

Next to her, Sanji stood. "What, like a sacrifice? Kill one person a year to let the rest live, or something? Is that what you're planning to do to Zoro?"

The librarian held up a hand. "No. Not in the way you're thinking. Sit down."

Sanji hesitated, then sat, looking like he desperately wanted a cigarette but didn't dare while surrounded by so many books.

"Perhaps it would be easier to understand if I call it 'human memories' instead, though that's not entirely accurate," the librarian continued. "Think of the years you've lived as a physical thing, like water you were slowly pouring into a bucket. Your memories, emotions, wisdom, all the physical and mental growth that comes with living—that's what the being needs to sustain itself."

That was all Robin needed to slot a few pieces into place. "And after the being has taken this life, the people it feeds from…they become children, don't they?"

The librarian nodded. "We call it 'Renewal', and it's been a part of our way of life for hundreds of years."

"Wait…" Sanji stared at the librarian, eyes wide. "If it—can it do this to someone more than once?"

"Yes."

"Don't tell me…the people here, are they the _same_ people who first settled the island?"

"Some are," the librarian said. "People do occasionally die, mainly in accidents that are too severe for them to last until they can be Renewed. And of course, the island can support far more people than originally came here, so our numbers have grown over the years, though the birth rate is carefully controlled to prevent overpopulation."

"How could something like this be kept a secret?" Surely people had to know, if their friends and family were constantly turning up as children.

"Oh, everyone knows about the terms of the deal," the librarian told her. "It would be impossible to live here and _not_ know about Renewal, or the being's existence. That's not the part that's restricted, except to outsiders. Even so, details are easy to lose over the years. Even those of us who have tried to remember don't know everything.

"Most people see the being as a god. It cares for us in every way that it can: the land is fertile and food is abundant, sickness is almost unheard of and most injuries can be mended quickly, and we are protected from attacks, as you saw. Some might call it paradise. In exchange, once we've gathered a lifetime of experiences and memories, we offer it up in return for all we've been given, and begin the cycle again."

"A symbiotic relationship," Robin murmured.

"Precisely," the librarian said. "Many view it as immortality, though without the memories of all the years we've lived, I can't say I fully agree."

Robin frowned. "But that doesn't explain why history is banned. If the islanders already know about this being, why is it wrong for them to know more?"

"That's a bit complicated. On the people's part, public opinion is that those memories belong to the god once we give them up, and that records of events are a form of memory. Therefore, keeping records about the past in anything but the broadest and most necessary terms is theft and a violation of the pact."

"That's ridiculous," Sanji said. "Having something written down doesn't change the actual memory."

"I agree, as have many others, or all of this wouldn't be here." The librarian waved a hand at the overloaded bookshelves. "But it's not time yet to voice such an opinion. And, setting the other islanders aside, the god has its own reasons for keeping the past from us."

"Which are?" Robin asked, when the woman didn't immediately continue.

"I can't claim to have any special insight on it's thoughts. But there are two conclusions that seem safe to draw, based on observation and what it's made known of its wishes.

"First, it wants to maintain the status quo. Of course it does; if the people of this island ever chose death over continuing the cycle, it would lose its food source, which would kill it as well, or at least send it back into hibernation. Letting us get too close a look at what we thought and felt in the past increases the chance that people would eventually grow dissatisfied with the current arrangement."

"Still, seems excessive," Sanji muttered. "Even if some people ended up wanting out, there's no way everyone would. I'm sure there'd be enough people wanting a long and easy life for it to keep itself going."

"Oh, if only it were that easy," the librarian said. "And assuming no one got it into their head to kill the being and forcibly free everyone. It would be an incredibly foolish idea with widespread consequences even if they were somehow able to succeed, but sooner or later, I have no doubt someone would try."

Robin was quite interested in what those consequences would be, but there were so many questions to ask, and they still had to bring the conversation back around to Zoro. "What's the second reason?"

"Hmm? Ah. Tell me, what's your favorite food?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Humor me. I have a point, I promise."

"…I'm fond of sandwiches."

"Sandwiches, eh?" The librarian nodded. "A good choice. So many different filling options, even if they still fall into the same general category. Well then, would you like to eat sandwiches every day? Would you be happy to eat nothing but sandwiches every day for the rest of your life?"

"Well…no. I don't think anyone would."

"Exactly. Everyone needs some variety. Even mysterious, inhuman, godlike beings."

"So…it wants other things besides the memories or whatever?" Sanji asked with a frown.

"No. What it wants is as wide a variety of life experiences as possible. But Renewal doesn't fully wipe our memories, since we're usually not taken all the way back to babyhood. The memories that remain are torn, scattered, buried, but they can be unearthed and pieced together to some extent, if they're poked enough. Words, places, stories…any connection can bring something up, but the quickest and most effective way is to spend time with those you were close to in your previous life.

"If we were allowed to keep records and diaries and the like, people could easily find out who their loved ones had been. Most of us would probably spend at least some time with those people. Both the records and the time together would awaken memories, and the more memories we regained, the more our lives would fall into similar patterns, with the same people around us, more often than not."

"Leading to a lack of variety in the thing's food," Sanji concluded. "Damn."

"It's an excellent reason for it to not want us to remember too much, don't you agree? And so there's a safeguard in place to prevent such things."

"What safeguard?" Robin asked.

"I know you've seen your friend since he was Renewed. You must have noticed it—the way he reacted to you."

Robin's mouth was dry. "Yes."

"Renewal poisons the bonds we had in our past life. It twists our attachment into fear and revulsion, like flipping a magnet to the wrong side. Seeing, hearing, or simply being near the person is unpleasant. Touch is worst of all. And the closer the bond, the stronger the aversion. From what I've seen, that your friend can even stand to be in your presence is a testament to his will."

Well, that certainly explained why Zoro's reaction to them—and to Luffy, especially—had been so extreme.

"The worst part is that the original bond is still there, even twisted," the librarian continued. "We can't bear being around our former loved ones, but if we meet them once, we'll have the desire to see them again, regardless of the pain. We're moved to a different town after each Renewal, to reduce the chances of ever meeting one of our Shards, as they're called."

Sanji looked a bit sick. "How can the whole island still support this thing when it causes so much suffering?"

The librarian gave a small shrug. "Given how well we're treated in everything else, most people believe the aversion is a natural side effect, and the god isn't causing us pain deliberately. I couldn't tell you if that's true or not, but either way, we've accepted that making new bonds is part of the price for living so long. The aversion only lasts through two or three Renewals, so a few lifetimes down the line, the same people could meet and become close all over again. It's a popular romantic fantasy here." Her mouth twisted in a bitter smile.

It was fascinating, in a horrific sort of way. "Why would it Renew Zoro? He's neither old nor a citizen of this island."

"True. I'd say it's most likely he found his way somewhere the god didn't want him to go. Possibly even its actual location."

"You don't know where it is?" Robin asked.

"Only that it's somewhere in the forest. There are safe areas we're allowed to visit and travel through, and places where people are brought for Renewal, but a large part of the forest is off limits. Your friend, of course, would have had no idea, and the god would have seen him as a threat and acted to protect itself."

"Damn Marimo and his shitty sense of direction," Sanji muttered. "And what about you people? Why aren't you warning everyone to stay out of the forest?"

The librarian fixed Sanji with a flat stare. "Most outsiders who come here are pirates intending to restock their supplies and leave. What do you think would happen if we told pirates to stay out of the forest, without giving a reason why?"

"It would draw attention," Robin said.

"Exactly. They'd be rushing in by the boatload, certain we were hiding some great treasure from them. Eventually, enough ships would go missing that we'd draw attention, and that's the last thing we want. Whereas if we make it clear that there's nothing to do here besides get supplies, most crews move on within a couple of days."

"Can a Renewal be reversed?" Robin asked. She felt Sanji tense next to her.

The librarian hesitated. "In theory, yes. There is one account of such a thing, and I have no reason to doubt it, though it's quite old. In practice, however, there are a few complications."

"Such as?" Sanji prompted, when the librarian hesitated again.

"For it to even be a possibility, you would first need to make contact with the god and convince it to return your friend's life, without getting Renewed yourselves. I hope I've explained enough that you can understand how difficult a task that is. The god will not want knowledge of its existence leaving the island."

"You have," Robin said, "but it's far from the hardest challenge we've faced for our friends."

"I wish you luck," the librarian said. "The second issue is the aversion. If the god can't remove it, then even if your friend is physically restored, mentally there would be a permanent, painful wedge between you."

"Shit." Sanji's teeth clamped down on an imagined cigarette.

"The aversion does become easier to bear with prolonged exposure, but it would never go away completely. Even the strongest bonds—no, perhaps especially the strong ones—would have difficulty overcoming an obstacle like that."

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time we've beaten the odds," Sanji said.

The librarian gave them a strained smile. "I believe you. There's a third problem, though, and it's perhaps the most serious. You've got a time limit, and to some extent it may already be too late for your friend."

A sliver of ice worked its way into Robin's stomach. "What do you mean?"

"I told you, the god likes variety in its food. We do our best, but there are only so many new experiences we can provide it, living on the same island for hundreds of years. The memories from your friend—someone who's led an exciting life as a pirate out in the wider world—would be an irresistible delicacy. While it might consume an islander's life in small pieces over the course of years, your Zoro's would almost certainly be devoured immediately."

The sliver of ice grew to boulder size, and glancing at Sanji, Robin could see he'd gone pale.

"You say your friend disappeared six days ago?"

"Yes," Robin managed.

"As far as we can tell, the god consumes life at a rate of about one year per day. Six years of your friend's life may already be beyond saving, with more lost for every minute that passes. If you take too long to reverse the process, there might not be anything left to save."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has it been a while since I did a cliffhanger? It feels like a while since I did a cliffhanger.


	10. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented and/or left kudos!

**Day 6**

Robin stood, her chair screeching across the floor. "You knew all of this, yet you still let us waste days searching with no information. Why?"

The librarian sighed. "You may have gathered that this is hardly the first time an outsider has run afoul of our local god. In every previous case, the rest of the crew was either successfully removed from the island, killed, or Renewed. Until today, I had no reason to believe your group would be any different, so you'll forgive me for prioritizing the safety of my people over doing the right thing for a stranger."

"Would it really be such a bad thing if this 'god' was taken out?" Sanji asked. "There may be some nice perks, but you've given up a hell of a lot of freedom in exchange."

"Whether we'd be willing to make the trade or not is largely irrelevant, because that's not the choice we have." The librarian began shuffling the papers and magazines back into a neat stack. "Our lives are bonded to the god's. If it fell, the majority of us would die with it."

" _What_?" Robin's shout overlapped with Sanji's, the sound uncomfortably loud in the small room.

"You couldn't have mentioned that a little sooner?" Sanji was standing now, too.

"I assume that majority includes Zoro," Robin said, once she'd calmed down enough to stop shouting.

"I should lie to you here, you know," the librarian said. "As insurance. I should tell you that killing the god would definitely kill your friend—and it's true that if he were standing right next to the god at the time, it very well might. At a distance, however, while he'd surely be in great pain, and ill for some time afterward, he'd survive. A single Renewal isn't enough to forge that kind of bond. Most of us wouldn't be so lucky. So you'd best keep your promise, unless you're willing to have a genocide on your hands." She cocked her head at them. "Many pirates would be, but you don't seem the type."

"We're not," Robin said. "But we won't abandon our friend, either. I hope, for all our sakes, that we can resolve this peacefully."

"Perhaps it's selfish to want more time, when most of us have had centuries here, remembered or not, but I'll gladly accept that label, if necessary," the librarian said. "I want this island to change for the better someday. It can't do that if it's destroyed."

"Thank you for the information," Robin said. "If there's nothing else, we have a god to find, and a friend."

* * *

"We have to do this logically." Nami's hands were shaking as she spread a map of the island, which Robin had gotten from the librarian, on the table, but her voice was steady. "We have two things to find, so it makes sense to split into two teams. One to search the off-limits areas of the forest for this god, and the other to keep looking through town for Zoro."

Usopp eyed the map uneasily. "What if Zoro's gone to a different town by now?" There were a dozen dots marking settlements of various sizes, scattered around the island in a rough circle.

"It's possible," Nami said grimly, "but we have to narrow it down somehow, and this town's big enough that Zoro might still be able to hide from us with only four people looking. Still, we should at least make a quick check in the towns to either side of this one, if we can find the time."

"I think he's still here." Chopper looked up at Robin. "That lady told you, right? Now that Zoro's seen us, he'll want to see us again, even if it makes him feel bad. And every time we've seen him, it was here, right? So I think he'll be here."

"That makes sense," Nami agreed quickly.

"The forest team should be careful not to spread out too far," Robin said. "Stay within shouting distance, if not within sight. A group should be harder for the god to catch off guard."

"I'll go to the town," Sanji said. "I can search faster by air, but the trees are so thick in that forest, I wouldn't see much."

"I'll join you," Robin said. "I think my powers will also be more effective in the city."

"M-me too." Usopp's hand shot into the air. "I can—"

" _You_ can go to the forest," Nami told him. "You're our resident plant expert, aren't you? Isn't this practically your territory?"

Usopp whimpered. "But—"

"I'll search the forest as well," Brook said. "I'm light enough that I should be able to move without much difficulty, and…" He frowned, a finger tapping against his chin. "It's possible that this god's power won't even work on me, or at least not as easily."

"I'm…going to the forest," Chopper said. He _wanted_ to look for Zoro, but the best way to help Zoro was to put himself where he could be the most useful, and that wasn't trying to push his way through crowds in the town. "I'm a reindeer, so I can move around easier, too." True, he'd grown up in ice and snow, not the kind of thick, jungle-like foliage this island had, but four hooves could still make their way better than human feet.

"Then I'll go to the town, and Luffy will help you search the forest," Nami said.

"What?" Luffy hadn't managed to sit down once during Robin and Sanji's explanation, but now he lunged forward, slamming his fists on the table. "But Zoro—"

"We're _all_ helping Zoro, Luffy," Nami reminded him. "And we're _all_ scared, and angry. But when you get angry, you tend to start punching things, which will be more useful in the forest, if you run into any of those creatures."

"But—"

" _And_ "—Nami sighed—"no one on this crew is closer to Zoro than you, Luffy. That also means you're the one who'll be the hardest for him to be around. We're trying not to scare him off, so for—for now, it might be best if someone else found him first. Just for now." She bit her lip, her eyes bright. "We're going to fix this."

Luffy's fists clenched, his shoulders shaking. Chopper held his breath, waiting for Luffy to protest more, to rage or cry or break the table, to run out the door and look for Zoro anyway, logic be damned. But after a long moment, Luffy's shoulders dropped and he looked up.

"Yeah." Luffy's face was full of determination. "We're going to fix this. We're going to bring Zoro home."

* * *

It wasn't working. _Why_ wasn't it working?

Zoro hadn't seen any of the Str—the outsiders for hours now, but the visions refused to leave him alone. They hadn't faded at all. It was like his brain was reaching out to everything around him and using it to make him think of the one thing he wanted to forget more than anything.

He'd walked in on Melwyn chopping vegetables for dinner, and for a moment, all he could see was Sanji, knife flashing as he worked in Sunny's wide kitchen. _It's not real,_ he tried to tell himself. _You're just thinking of when he made that pasta before._

But he knew that wasn't it. He hadn't even seen Sanji use a knife that night, and more than that, the angle was wrong. He was looking up at Melwyn now, but vision-Sanji was the same height as him. Or was Zoro looking down, just a little? He thought he might have been, though he knew Sanji would protest the idea fiercely. He hated that he knew that.

Shaking off the vision (and a snapped comment from Melwyn), Zoro ran outside, thinking vaguely of visiting the chickens. There were no chickens on the ship, so that had to be safe, right?

But then he reached the yard, and his eyes were drawn like a magnet to the tall mikan tree he'd barely noticed before, its branches heavy with orange fruit, and—

— _His hand stung with a sharp slap, Nami's shouts and threats of what she would do to him if he ever touched her trees without permission again ringing in his ears—_

—he stumbled back, wide-eyed, clutching a hand that still tingled, though there was no mark on it. Zoro turned and fled back into the house. Staying well clear of the kitchen, he instead turned down a long hallway, dim after even his brief time in the sun. A door was open at the end of the hall. Zoro crept closer and peeked inside, trying to calm his breathing.

Boran was sitting at a desk covered with papers. A book was open in front of him, his pen making soft scratching noises as he wrote in it, and—

— _Robin's soft voice lifted in amused admonishment as Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp narrowly avoided colliding with her desk in their game of tag._

" _Go play outside," she told them, setting down her pen. "Perhaps you can even convince Zoro to come with you."_

" _We tried!" Luffy whined. "He said we were making too much noise and came in here, but it's more fun with Zoro there, even when all he does is sleep, and—_

—Zoro scrambled away from the door, not knowing or caring if he'd been heard. He raced upstairs, where the children's rooms were, chose one at random, and slammed the door behind him. For long seconds, he stood there, trying to calm his frantic breathing as the vision clung to his thoughts.

He was alone, he realized, when he finally managed to pry his eyes open and look around him. Good. He didn't want the other kids thinking he was more of a freak than they already did, nor did he want to try to explain why he'd suddenly run into their room like a pack of wolves was chasing him.

He stood there for what felt like hours, trying to relax, as light slowly faded from the room. Maybe he would have stood there all night as long as no one came in. But just as the last glow of twilight was slipping from the sky, a bird cried outside, and Zoro turned toward the window on reflex. Something flashed on the other side of the room; Zoro tensed, but it was just the flickering light from an old radio, sitting on a table beside one of the beds. Someone had left it on, but with the sound turned all the way down.

More for the distraction than because he actually wanted to hear, Zoro approached the radio and turned the knob. The room filled with music, a soft, haunting melody floating from the tinny speakers and winding through his ears as—

— _Brook's violin echoed across the water. This song could take on any emotion the musician wanted it to, and tonight he'd chosen a slower rendition, sad, but still with a touch of comfort. It brought back memories of the good times they'd had in the past, and whispered about all the good times still to look forward to. Things weren't always easy, but as long as they had each other, they would endure. They would_ thrive _._

_Zoro leaned back against the hard wood of the mast. They were due to reach a new island tomorrow, and without the calming music, Luffy would never get to sleep, or at least quiet down enough for the others to sleep. Zoro, though, could sleep anywhere. His captain's laughter was like a lullaby. As long as Luffy was happy, everything was right with the world. He lifted his mug, taking a long drink before—_

—Zoro's fist came down on the radio. It fell to the floor with a squawk, but that wasn't good enough, because the music was _still coming_ , still piercing his brain with its unwanted visions. If he closed his eyes, he could _see_ Brook, bow dancing over the strings, a smile on his face even without any lips to make it. Zoro lifted a foot and slammed it down on the radio again and again, until the violin faded into a tortured hissing, then kicked the thing at the wall for good measure. Finally, _finally_ , the room was quiet, his own gasping breaths the only sound left to hear.

That last vision had _hurt_. Because it hadn't been just images this time, hadn't been just sounds and smells and pictures replayed for him like a super-realistic movie. He'd _felt it_ this time, the sense of safety, of family, of _love_ that the Straw Hats shared. For just an instant, his fear had fallen away, and he'd belonged.

And then the vision had shattered, and the peace was ripped away, and everything was so much worse now.

Because he couldn't deny it anymore. The visions—no. He should call them what they were. The _memories_. _His_ memories.

It shouldn't have been so shocking. He'd been doing his best to deny it all day, hadn't he? He'd suspected it, dreaded it, since the Straw Hats had first told him their impossible theory. No, even before that. From the moment he'd first met Nami's eyes and felt that choking mix of dread and longing fill him, he'd known there was something there. He just hadn't had the pieces to figure out what it was. And once he did, he hadn't wanted to believe. He still didn't. Everything would be so much easier if it wasn't true. But Zoro wasn't so much of a coward that he'd keep running from a truth that had slapped him in the face, just because he didn't like it.

The Straw Hats were right.

But they were wrong, too, because maybe he _had_ been their Zoro, but he wasn't anymore. Maybe he'd remembered a few things, but he was just as far from being that terrifying man in the wanted poster as he'd been the night he first ran from Nami. He was nothing but a child, now.

How had this even happened to him? He hadn't dared to wonder before, but now—

His hand touched cool metal, and Zoro jumped, looking up to find himself at the front door. When had he gotten downstairs again? The knob was half-twisted under his hand. He'd been about to leave? Why? _To find them,_ his mind supplied, and Zoro leapt away from the door like it was made of lightning.

_No._ No, he couldn't do that. He _had_ to stay away from them, now more than ever. It would be better for everyone if he just stayed away. The memories would stop, eventually. That much was still true. The memories would fade, he would stop hurting, and the Straw Hats would leave the island and…have new adventures without him. It would be better, easier, than trying to force a puzzle piece into a place it no longer fit.

"Restless?"

Zoro jumped again, whirling to see Boran eyeing him with a small smile. "I—" What could he say?

"I'd think you'd want to rest some more, after the day you've had, but kids've always had more energy than they know what to do with. Most of the others're still outside, even in the dark."

"No, I'm not—" Not what? Not a kid? But he _was_. That was the whole problem, really. Not restless? He was that, too; he just didn't know how to _stop_ being restless, so he was trying to ignore it, instead. Not full of energy? Not exactly a lie, especially now that the terror and adrenaline were wearing off, but he was hardly going to say _that_.

"Tell you what. I'm heading into the forest tomorrow; there's a tree I've been eyeing for firewood. You come with me. It'll do you good to get out of town and stretch your legs a bit."

He'd stretched his legs plenty today already, but not being in town meant less chance of running into the Straw Hats, and maybe less chance of having another flash of memories. And it could be training. Even now, he wasn't ready to give up on his dream, and the future World's Greatest Swordsman needed to train.

"Okay."

_But how will you achieve that dream if you stay on this island?_

He didn't have an answer.

* * *

He couldn't sleep. He'd never had trouble sleeping before—he couldn't remember but he was sure it was true—but that night, Zoro lay awake, staring at the ceiling and waiting for morning to come, alone with his thoughts and the ghosts of another person's past.

* * *

**Day 7**

"Take care!" Melwyn's sour voice followed Zoro out the door. "I suggest you get lost in the woods and not come back."

Zoro turned, smothering a yawn and reaching for the best insult he could muster as—

— _He was running through a huge stone building, swords drawn. They weren't going to stop him. He'd find her, and then—_

" _Ahh!" Chopper's voice echoed from above him."We take our eyes off Zoro for a second, and now he's—!"_

" _What?" Nami's shout was dripping with exasperation._

" _Wait, Zoro!" Chopper yelled at him. "That's the wrong way!"_

_Zoro skidded to a stop and looked back at him. "What?" He'd been so sure this was the right direction._

" _I said the stairs!" Nami snapped. "Just what made you think you should go that way? What are you, a fantasista?"_

" _Shut up!" Zoro roared back. "It's because you didn't explain it well!" They didn't have time to waste on this nonsense. Robin needed them! Why hadn't Nami just said to go north in the first place?_

" _There's no way it was my fault!"_

" _Zoro," Chopper said seriously as he ran for the stairs, "I'll try making some medicine that works on hopelessness."_

" _Hopelessness…? Hey!" This wasn't the time for stupid jokes like that. First the lovesick cook, then Nami telling him the wrong way to go, now Chopper—were any of them taking this seriously besides him? If they didn't hurry, Robin would—_

—he reeled, barely catching himself against the side of Boran's house. The memory left slowly, flickering out like a dying candle.

" _Are you okay, Zoro? This way, okay?"_

" _I know!"_

That had been…was his sense of direction really that bad? Zoro couldn't remember getting lost like that at any point in the past week, but…that had felt like an old, familiar argument. And he had been so _sure_ he was right even though he clearly hadn't been.

It seemed like he couldn't trust his own perceptions, even before he was reduced to this.

"Be nice," Boran chided Melwyn, "or I'll change my mind about leaving you in charge. Thea's almost old enough to start taking on some of that responsibility."

Melwyn flushed. "That's not necessary." He stepped closer to Boran and lowered his voice, though not enough to keep Zoro from hearing most of his words. "…not trying to be…know as well as I do…been tearing up the town looking for…" His arm jerked in Zoro's direction. "…hasn't done anything for some reason. If it…find him with _us_ , especially if…" Melwyn darted a dark look at Zoro, and there was fear mixed with the anger. "…better for everyone if you just hand him over to—"

Boran pulled back, patting Melwyn on the shoulder. "I know you're worried, and not without reason. But it'll all work out for the best. Trust me for just a little longer. And don't be so hard on the kid. He didn't choose this." He hefted his pack and beckoned to Zoro. "C'mon, kid, let's get going."

With Melwyn's stare prickling the back of his neck, Zoro stumbled after Boran. His eyes could barely stay open enough to see his feet, but he knew that even if he could lay down, he'd just fall back into the same restless dozing that never quite managed to tip into true sleep. The memories he'd regained had circled his head all night. Everything he did seemed to set off another one, but they were only snatches, fragments, too small and jumbled to bring him anything but frustration, and Zoro was ready to snap at everyone in sight to just leave him alone.

"Now, you stick close to me, all right?" Boran said, as they entered the trees. "The forest can be dangerous. If you don't watch out, you might get attacked by something, or fall off a cliff."

Zoro rolled his eyes and—

— _A scream echoed through the air, making the place seem even spookier than it already was. Worse, it was a familiar scream._

" _Nami-saaan!" Sanji flung himself past Zoro and grabbed the rail of the ship. "What is it? Did something happen?"_

_Zoro glared out across the murky water. "What're they up to? I can't see anything in this fog."_

" _But her scream came from the island," Robin said._

_Luffy rushed to the railing, too, but where Sanji looked a heartbeat away from jumping off to swim to the island, Luffy was hopping up and down impatiently. "You guys! Hurry up and let me ride the Mini-Merry, too!"_

_Sanji rounded on him. "Bastard! You should be more worried about Nami-san!"_

" _And you should be more worried about the other two with her," Franky muttered behind them. Sanji didn't appear to have heard._

" _That scream just now…" Robin lifted a hand to her face in thought. "I wonder if a ghost killed them with a curse?"_

" _Stop it!" Zoro told her. "That's bad luck!" A clanking noise drew his attention, and he—_

—gasped, stumbling into a tree. His head throbbed, and Zoro dug his fingers into the tree's bark as hard as he could, trying to ground himself.

"You okay, kid?"

Zoro shook his head, as though the memory would come loose with it, and dragged himself back onto the path. "Fine," he mumbled. "Just tired." He curled his hands inward before Boran could see the red dotting his fingertips.

Boran smiled sympathetically. "Well, a brisk walk in the woods should wake you right up, but let me know if you need me to carry you, all right?"

Zoro flushed. "I can walk!" He stomped past Boran to prove his point.

Boran smiled at him. "All right, then; let's walk."

At least in the forest, he'd only have to deal with Boran. The Straw Hats were searching the town. They'd never find him here.

* * *

"— _haven't seen anything on our end, either."_

Blearily, Chopper blinked his eyes open. His body was swaying gently back and forth. Was he in a hammock? No…the movements were too irregular for that, and he was so warm…

" _I don't understand!"_ That was Nami's voice, strained and crackling over a den den mushi connection. _"How can one kid disappear so completely? We were practically tripping over him before!"_

Kid? A weight had settled in Chopper's stomach, filling him with a sense of impending dread that meant there was something very bad waiting for him as soon as he was awake enough to remember. He tried to shove it away, to return to the peaceful bliss of sleep, but it ate at his insides, and the worried voices of his friends gave it strength.

" _Everyone calm down. We won't be any good if we work ourselves into a panic."_ Sanji's voice was as tense as the rest of them, but it wasn't shaking the way Nami's had.

"That's right," came Brook's voice from somewhere to Chopper's left. "We've made it out of difficult situations before. We can do it again."

"But the time!" Usopp sounded like he was holding back tears.

"Perhaps that librarian was mistaken," Brook suggested. "Perhaps, since Zoro-san's life is such a delicacy, the god is saving it for a special occasion, and hasn't yet consumed any of it."

Zoro?

" _I…guess that's possible…"_ Nami sounded doubtful, but steadier.

" _At any rate, all we can do is keep looking,"_ said Robin. _"I'm going to return to the library. Maybe I can get more information. We'll check in again in another two hours."_

"Right," said Luffy's voice, vibrating against Chopper's back, and there was a click as the snail shut down.

Chopper's eyes snapped open.

Zoro!

_How_ could he have forgotten? Zoro was—they had to—and he had _fallen asleep_?

Chopper leapt from Luffy's arms, cursing himself and wiping away tears. They _had_ to find Zoro, every second counted, and there he'd been, napping like he hadn't had a care in the world! _Idiot!_

"Oh, Chopper, you're up!" Luffy's voice, though tense and exhausted, still held warmth. Chopper wished Luffy would yell instead, like he clearly deserved.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—why didn't you wake me up?" he demanded.

"You passed out just before dawn," Usopp told him. "We decided you'd be more useful after a couple hours of sleep, so there'd be less chance of you tripping over your own hooves."

He was probably right, but—Chopper eyed the sun overhead. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ So much time lost! He had to make up for it. He'd search twice as hard. He wouldn't let Zoro down. Shifting to Walk Point, Chopper bounded off into the trees.

"Oi! We have to stay together!" Usopp hollered behind him.

Chopper barely heard.

* * *

Zoro rubbed at his eyes, then jerked to the side, narrowly avoiding a collision with a tree. So far, the walk hadn't helped clear his head at all. He hadn't had any more flashes since entering the forest, but what did that matter when the memories he already had were so bright and vivid he could have sworn he was walking along Sunny's deck rather than a forest path half the time?

He glanced up at the trees. Most were too big for him to fit his arms around, and so tall he couldn't see the tops as anything other than a sea of green. It had been like that for a while now. He was sure they'd already passed enough trees to provide the whole island with firewood for a year.

"Why can't we just cut one of these?" Zoro complained.

Boran chuckled. "There's a method to these things. You can't just cut down any old tree you like."

Zoro frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, it takes longer for the wood to be ready to use if you pick one that's all green and full of life, for one thing. It's best to find one that's about ready to come down on its own anyway."

All the trees Zoro could see in every direction looked strong and healthy. "How long is that gonna take?"

"Don't worry. I've been keeping my eye out, and I know the perfect spot. It's not too far now."

"Really?" Zoro knew that "not far" could mean something very different to an adult than it did to him.

"Really. Why? Need a break?"

Zoro scowled. "No!"

Another soft chuckle. "Don't worry," Boran said again. "You can rest when we get there. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, this took too long. Hopefully I can get the next one out faster. We're getting close to one of my favorite parts of the story, so… c:


	11. Like a Leaf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented or left kudos! They always make me happy. ^_^

**Day 7**

Brook hadn't seen the others for some time now. He'd heard a shout that might have been Luffy a while ago, far to the west and just within hearing range. It hadn't sounded like a triumphant "I found something!" shout, though, nor an "I need help!" shout, just a frustrated "get out here already!" shout, and so Brook had ignored it and pushed on.

They were spreading out too far, he knew. It would be smarter to regroup, to make sure they were close enough to help if anyone should run into trouble.

But it was past noon. They'd been searching for Zoro for a day and a half—half of that with knowledge of the semi-literal deadline hanging over their heads—and they hadn't found a trace of either Zoro or the god. It was time to start taking some risks.

A flash of white caught Brook's eye, and he slowed, peering through the trees ahead.

It was a little girl, no older than Zoro's current age, wearing a simple white dress that almost glowed in the dim light filtering through the forest canopy. She was closer than he'd first assumed, and it was really a wonder he hadn't spotted her sooner. What was she doing out here alone? Was she an islander who had just been Renewed? Did this mean he was close?

The girl met his gaze with tears in her eyes, and darted forward. "Please," she said. Her hair was as white as her dress, glittering like starlight, and her skin was so pale Brook wondered if she'd spent her whole life here, away from the sun. "Please, I need your help."

Her angelic face and watery blue-white eyes were hard to resist, even if she wasn't yet old enough to ask about her panties, but Brook made a valiant effort.

"Oh my. What's the matter? I'd be happy to help, but you see, I'm already quite busy helping a dear friend of mine, and I'm afraid I really can't let myself get sidetracked. Is there anyone else around here?" It was a foolish question—he hadn't seen anyone but the girl and the other Straw Hats for hours, and if she _did_ know where someone else was, surely she'd have gone to them already—but it was all he could think to offer. "Maybe I could take you to them and they could—"

"I know, I know you are!" The girl clutched at Brook's sleeve, nearly pulling his coat off his shoulder. "I'm trying to help him, too, but I couldn't—I didn't do enough, and when I tried, he went to the wrong house, and now—" Her free hand swiped at her eyes. "This is all my fault! I'm sorry, I was scared, I couldn't stop it—no, I didn't _want_ to stop it—I thought—"

Brook frowned down at her. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

The girl yanked on his arm and he took a stumbling step forward as she pierced him with frantic eyes. "There's no time! Please, I'll explain everything later, and you can hate me all you want, but Zoro needs help _now_!"

And Brook still didn't understand, but Zoro did need help, and this girl apparently knew where to find him, and that was all he needed to know, for now.

"Lead the way."

* * *

The tree Boran finally stopped at was an impressive sight. It was huge and gnarled, perched almost at the edge of a cliff. A deep, twisted lightning scar marred its trunk, and the wood looked old and dry, ready to go straight into a fire as soon as it was cut.

"Pretty neat, right?" Boran leaned on his axe, peering at the tree. He waved Zoro forward. "Come take a look from over here. The scar looks especially cool from the cliff side; just be careful."

It did look cool, Zoro decided once he'd cautiously shuffled past. Like someone had set off an explosion inside the trunk.

"Y'know," Boran said as he began sizing up the tree to figure out the best place to cut, "people used to believe lightning was an act of god." His axe swung loosely in his hand. "They'd probably think up some reason this tree had that blast coming for it. Ridiculous, isn't it? It's a tree—what harm could it do anyone just standing here?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess."

"It's funny, the levels of belief people have," Boran continued. "I've met any number who claim to be rational and educated—they know the real cause of lightning, they know what an eclipse is and why it happens, they know sickness isn't brought on by demons—they're nothing like their poor, superstitious ancestors. And yet those same people will believe, not a doubt in their minds, that there's something waiting for them after they die, without any proof at all. What sense does that make?"

"Not…much?" Zoro guessed. He was getting bored of looking at the tree now, and wanted to find a comfortable spot to try to nap while Boran got on with chopping it down. But Boran was still gesturing with his axe, too close for Zoro to try slipping past to the other side, and his sudden rant showed no signs of slowing down.

"There's a god on this island, did you know? That's what it's called, anyway. The people here know lightning isn't an act of god because they can see with their own eyes what their god is capable of. They have all the proof they could want, from their point of view. Their god doesn't make lightning. What it _does_ do…" The axe gestured at Zoro.

"It's this island's 'god' that did this to you, you know."

Zoro's eyes, which had been drooping shut, flew open. "Huh?"

"Don't take it personally. It does that to everyone. We have a nice long life, then the 'god' strips it all away and makes us go and be kids again."

"What?" But he hadn't been that old, had he? He'd been a grown-up, but he'd seen lots of people on the island older than he'd been.

"Eternal life, some call it," Boran said. "Fools. It isn't, because they don't stay the same person after. They forget everything. Friends, family, all the good times and bad—that's lost, every time. Worse than lost." Boran looked at him. The easy smile he'd worn all morning was gone. Zoro hadn't noticed when it had disappeared.

"You know about that part, don't you, Zoro? How horrible you feel around the people who used to be important to you."

Zoro swallowed. "How do you—"

"Because it's the same for all of us! It's meant to help us give up, to make us _want_ to discard our old lives and start over. People we care about, people we'd give our lives for—and we're meant to just toss them away like they don't matter! This island certainly has a powerful and terrible god, to ask such things of us." He looked out at the sea of trees far below the cliff.

"But the important thing, the thing everyone else on this island seems to miss, is that proof of the 'god' being powerful isn't the same as proof that it's a god. I used to believe, right along with all the others. I know better now. And if the thing you're fighting isn't actually a god, well. It gives you options."

Boran turned back to look at Zoro, and there was a smile there again, but it brought no warmth with it. "I'll ask one last time: are you sure you didn't tell those outsiders anything? Are you _sure_ you still don't remember anything from before you met Sylvi, the night you came to my house?"

Did Boran know about the flashes? How? "I—"

"Because y'see, the thing is, when you showed up at my door that night, for just a moment, I thought you might've recognized me. And if that's the case, well, I'd have to take the chance to continue the fascinating conversation we had the first time we met."

"The…the first time?"

"Oh yes. We've met before, though you were quite a bit taller then." The axe thumped down to rest in front of Boran, though he kept a tight grip on the handle. "This isn't how I wanted things to go, you know. I'm not sure why Sylvi would have sent you to my house, of all places—was it a message, or just a strange coincidence?—but I was prepared to take proper care of you and let your part in this whole mess die with your former self. I was going to leave you be, I really was, but…you're remembering things, aren't you? Thanks to those outsiders sniffing around where they're not wanted, you're remembering. That's a problem, Zoro, because I can't take the chance you might remember the wrong thing and tell someone."

"W-what are you talking about?" Zoro was uncomfortably aware his back was to a cliff, and that Boran stood between him and safety. He stepped forward, and the axe rose to block his path.

"Hold on, now, I'm not finished talking. I haven't had anyone to talk to about this, you see; if the other islanders knew, they'd force a Renewal, or even decide I'd be better off dead. I think maybe Melwyn's guessed some of it—might be why he tried so hard to make you leave. Or maybe he's just scared of getting involved in the 'god's' business, who can say? He still believes, after all, unlike me."

The axe touched the ground again, and Boran leaned on it, looking so casual another kid might have thought they could easily get past before he could get it up and swinging. Zoro knew better.

"I'll tell you, then, since there's no one else to tell, and you won't be passing it on once I have. I'll tell you the story of how I stopped believing in god."

* * *

"I love kids, did you know, Zoro? Well, I run a care house for Renewals; I'd be a fool to do that if I didn't like kids. I've enjoyed it, too, though it was really my wife's idea. She loved kids even more than I did. Loved taking care of them.

"Oh yes, I had a wife. Didn't know that, did you? She was the most wonderful wife anyone could ask for. I couldn't wait for each new day, just to get to spend more time with her. For a long time, if you'd asked me what I would change to make our lives even better, I wouldn't have had an answer. That's how perfect things were.

"But time changes everything, I suppose. After a few years, all our children-who-weren't-really-children weren't enough for us anymore. Renewal only takes us back to about seven, you see—I suppose so that we can still look after ourselves to some extent, or maybe babyhood memories just aren't interesting to the 'god'. Regardless, you never get to experience caring for a baby if you only look after Renewals. And while they'll be normal little kids most of the time, every once in a while they'll do something, say something, that lets their real age peek through. Dam—darn creepy, once you know what you're seeing. We still loved them, but…we wanted a baby. A child of our own, something new and bright and _ours_.

"But people don't die here, you know? Not most of us, anyway. Old age, illness, injury—unless someone's killed instantly, they'll just be taken for Renewal. Can't die, can't leave the island—if everyone had kids on top of that, you'd need to kill someone just to sit down. So they control it. Once a year, everyone who wants to have a kid puts their name in and hopes they get lucky.

"Oh, you know about that, do you? Didn't expect that, since I didn't—oh, wait. There was one yesterday, wasn't there? In the town where I found you. Did you see it? Or did someone tell you about it? I should have, you know. As your caretaker, it's my job to explain to you about Renewal and the 'god' and how everything works. But then, I'm telling you now, aren't I? Sorry it's a bit late. Though not everyone explains about the lottery right away anyway.

"Anyway, folks sign up for these lotteries, and some actually do get lucky. There are people who're picked on their very first try, can you imagine that? And people who win more than once. Now that's what I call lucky. Maybe unfairly so.

"And on the other end of the scale, you've got people like my wife and I. We tried, Zoro. We put our names in every year for twenty fuc—full years, and not once were we chosen. Not once, before our time was up. They don't let you try forever, you see. Once you get past a certain age, it's judged 'too risky', and you're supposed to graciously step aside for the younger crowd and just accept that your own children aren't something you're meant to have this time around. As if waiting for your next Renewal—when you're a different person, when you'll be _with_ a different person—is a reasonable solution.

"My wife and I weren't willing to do that, though. We couldn't give up, just like that. So we decided to commit blasphemy: we moved to a new town, on the other side of the island, somewhere no one knew us. And we had a baby. A boy. He was the most beautiful, the most perfect…

"We were discovered, of course. It wasn't the first time someone had tried to get around the lottery by moving. We thought we'd been careful, so careful…but it wasn't enough. And so we—or rather, our son—became a 'problem' for the island's council to solve.

"What to do with the baby? They couldn't just let us keep him, oh no, that might encourage others to follow in our footsteps. The precious system must be preserved, naturally. But no one was quite barbaric enough to suggest killing him outright. If they'd tried, his wouldn't have been the only death that day. I'd never fought a day in this life at that point, but I'd have taken on anyone who tried to touch my boy, and I know my wife would have been right behind me. But fortunately for them, they didn't go there.

"Eventually, they came to what they considered a 'fair' decision. They took him to a neighboring island and left him there. Just left him, like he was a stray dog no one wanted.

" _We_ wanted him! He would have grown up loved like no child had ever been, but rules are more important than happiness here, I suppose. We were told he was in safe hands, that he'd be well looked after, but how could we just believe that? We were his parents! We'd only had him for a little while, but already he'd completely captured our hearts. How were we supposed to just go on without him?

"My wife couldn't. We could have had another forty years together, but she took early Renewal to escape the pain. That's what I was told, at least. Sometimes, I've wondered if she…but never mind. However it happened, she was Renewed. I've seen her a couple times since then, you know. From a distance, of course. I don't want to hurt her more. She's a teenager now. She looks happy.

"I'd be lying if I said I've never been tempted to do the same, but I just can't go through with it, in the end. I don't want to forget. Not her, not our baby, and not what this island's 'god' cost us. And I want my son back. I want to leave this island and find my boy.

"Why haven't I, you might ask. Well, y'see, Renewal gives you a connection to the 'god', and therefore, to the island as well. Even after just one Renewal, you can feel it, can't you, Zoro? That connection, it gets stronger the more you're Renewed, and me? Maybe I'm one of the people who first came here, maybe I'm from one of the earlier generations of kids, I don't know, but I've been Renewed so many times that I can't leave the island for more than an hour or two, and that's not enough to get even a quarter of the way to anyplace else. Not that I even know which island they took him to. That'd be dangerous knowledge for me to have.

"I need _time_ , Zoro. I need to break the connection. And it's the false god who creates the connection, so as far as I can see, the only way I can leave this island and find my son…is to kill the 'god'. If it's dead, the pull will disappear. It has to."

* * *

Maybe Zoro would have been able to appreciate the story more if Boran had kept the axe still while he'd been talking, but nervous energy had been rolling off him in waves, and less than a minute into his tale he'd been gesturing wildly, the blade coming uncomfortably close to Zoro's narrow strip of cliff more than once.

Plus there was the whole "you won't live to tell anyone about this" part to think of. That made the axe much more important than a story about something that had happened years ago, in Zoro's opinion.

"I had it all planned! I'd done what research I could. I'd chosen my method. I'd chosen the day and time. I was going to do it at night, because even she has to sleep sometime. I set a fire in town, so that even if she was awake, she'd be distracted."

Boran snorted, the way people did when they pretended to be amused by something they didn't find funny at all. "But maybe there's a real god out there somewhere, a god of luck, and they hate me, because that day I picked? Of all the days I could have picked, I chose the one on which you and your friends arrived on the island.

"I don't know why you were there, how you found me—instinct or intuition or pure dumb luck, I suppose it doesn't matter—but you ruined everything. Oh, from the outside, it must have looked like you were doing the right thing—you didn't know any better, and you were clearly not the kind of person who could just stand back and watch a little girl die—but that doesn't change the results."

_Little girl?_

"Two things, just two things, kept it from being a fatal disaster. First, the 'god' doesn't seem to have realized that I'm the one who attacked it. I wouldn't have expected the disguise I wore to have fooled it for long, but clearly it must have, or I wouldn't be around to talk to you now."

Zoro didn't want Boran to talk to him. He wanted to get off this stupid mountain, out of this forest, and…he wasn't sure what should come after that. Find a safe place to nap, maybe. He wasn't nearly as sleepy as he had been before threats and axes had been a thing, but even the thought of dying couldn't shake his bone-deep exhaustion completely.

"Second," Boran continued, "it apparently decided you were a threat, perhaps because you'd seen too much for an outsider, and Renewed you, preventing you from telling anyone what you'd seen. Because unlike the 'god', you _did_ get a decent look at my face.

"Eventually, the 'god' will eat those memories of yours, and she'll know. But for now I'm still here, still as free as any of us can be in this cursed paradise, and I still remember. So I can try again. I can make sure that this time, I'll succeed." Boran's stance shifted, and Zoro tensed, ready to move. Storytime was almost over. "First, though, I need to tie up a loose end. I need to make sure you _can't_ tell anyone, because with those outsiders around I can't trust that your memories will stay gone."

Zoro flung himself down as the axe whistled over his head. He scanned his surroundings frantically, looking for a way out, an opening to get past Boran and away from the edge.

There wasn't one. The cliff jutted out into a point—not much of one, only a few feet past the tree, but enough that someone as big as Boran could easily block the path back to safety. Could he climb the tree, maybe? But there weren't many low branches, and even if he could get out of reach quickly enough, it would leave him a sitting duck. Boran could just chop down the tree and send it over the cliff, taking Zoro with it.

Zoro ducked another swing. "It'll hurt less if you hold still," Boran told him. "I'll make it quick. I'm not enjoying this, I promise you; I just want it to be over."

_Like hell I'm going to just roll over and die._

Boran swung again, and Zoro lunged for the tree; even if climbing was out, it would still give him some cover. His foot caught on an exposed root and he tumbled to the ground, then kept rolling as he saw the axe coming back around for another pass.

Something hard hit his back. Zoro's first wild thought was that someone else had been there, hiding somehow, and he'd been too focused on Boran and his axe to see their attack coming. But no, his back was on the ground, and it hurt, but not in the sharp piercing way that meant he'd been cut. Zoro shoved himself farther behind the tree and risked a glance down.

He'd landed on a branch. It had obviously broken off some time ago, and the bark was peeling, but the bruise on his back told him the wood was still solid, and it was nearly as thick as his wrist. He snatched it up. It wasn't much of a weapon, especially against an axe, but Zoro was going to be the world's greatest swordsman. He'd make it work.

Scrambling to his feet, Zoro planted himself in the best stance he could remember how to do. _You don't have to beat him_ , he told himself, even as something deep within him protested the idea of running away. _You just have to get past him._ Once he was in the trees, he'd lose Boran somehow.

Boran looked at Zoro's branch sword and sighed. "I suppose I can't blame you for trying to survive. But it's pointless. All you're doing is making this harder on everyone."

On Boran's next swing, Zoro ducked, then lashed out with his branch. It connected. Zoro might be missing most of his memories, but he'd retained enough skill to give him several steps up on someone like Boran, who for all his size and strength had never fought before.

Unfortunately, no amount of half-remembered swordsmanship could give his branch an edge, or give him back the power to send someone six times his size flying. Boran stumbled back a step. Just one. The sliver of an opening Zoro had created closed even as he rushed forward, and he had to throw himself back again to dodge the axe's return swing.

"That actually hurt, kid. I'm grateful I don't have to deal with your full-size version this time around. I suppose I'd last about five seconds." Boran poked at his side. His shirt was torn, and blood leaked sluggishly from a long scratch.

A scratch. That was the best Zoro had been able to do. One step back, and a scratch. It was infuriating. He could have done better than this, once. He could have stopped Boran without any sword at all, once. But he couldn't remember _how_ , and he was too small, too weak, too—

The axe whistled toward his face. Caught off guard, Zoro had no choice but to block with his branch. The blade sank deep into the wood—somehow, miraculously, it didn't chop completely through—and Zoro's hands burned as his improvised weapon was yanked roughly from his grasp.

Boran tossed the branch aside. "All right, enough. I applaud your ingenuity, Zoro, but we're wasting time. Every second this drags on increases the chance she'll notice us. I can't let that happen."

The axe swung, again and again, so fast that the air was filled with a constant whistling. It was all Zoro could do to dodge. If he'd been a normal kid—even one who'd been training since he could walk—he knew he'd already be dead. Some instinct or half-buried memory or _something_ must have been helping him; it was like he could see where the axe was going to move just before it did. Even so, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep this up for long. The swings were getting closer. _Twist right_ —he narrowly avoided losing an ear. _Duck!_ —green fluttered through the air as the blade swept over his head. _Left, to the tree_ —the axe caught his arm, and Zoro howled. The wound wasn't deep enough to be serious, but it _hurt_ , and it would slow him. Slow was bad. Slow was dangerous. He needed to be faster, he needed—

Boran took a step forward, sensing victory, and swung again. Zoro jumped back—

His feet caught air, and he fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a cliffhanger if the character's already fallen off the cliff, right? ;)
> 
> You may have noticed that there is now a total chapter count! Yes, I finally marked out where to split the rest of the chapters, and there should be four left after this one. There's still one last chunk of writing I need to do for one of those chapters, but we're getting close to the end! I'm both happy and not, haha. Anyway, thank you for reading this far, and I hope you'll stick with me the rest of the way!

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate kudos and comments of any length, short or long. I will do my best to reply to them all eventually, but it can sometimes take me a (long) while. I do read them and love them all, though!
> 
> Regarding crit: if you see a typo or an actual error/plot hole, please point it out! I promise I really do want to know. If something's confusing, feel free to ask about it! If you're just not feeling my characterization, didn't enjoy a place I took the story, etc, I'd prefer you simply move on and find a fic that's more to your taste.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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